Thanks for the share, Eric. These are the nine things from The Luckiest Club/We are the Luckiest book. I love it for me, for every one addicted to anything. It is her thing and ultimately her responsibility. Luv ya, pal.
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Thanks. So I did download something when I googled your luckiest club thingy. I got the luckiestclub.com is that correct? Did you say there is a book?
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@Dazercat What a proud moment for you! Bless your wonderful children! I pray this works out for you! You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers. Especially your wife.
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Eric, You should be a proud dad for raising such amazing children. Thank you for sharing the entire experience with all of us. 
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I’m so happy to read this, like so happy for you I can’t put it in words. Thank you for sharing. I hope your wife does cut back and see the many benefits to being sober
It warms my heart that your kiddos did this.
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Hi guys! I wanted to share with you what happened with my Mom today. She wanted to borrow my crockpot so she asked to have my daughter drop it off this morning and of course I said yes. Well my daughter decided to just hang out at my parents after because she had to pick my son up from school at 10:45 he had a half day. Well she ended up helping my Mom and my Mom had her doing all sorts of running around. My Mom text me at 1:30 asking if my daughter could go pick my brother up in the city. I told her no! I was proud of myself, if my brother is in the city doing who knows what (drugs) then I want no part of it. He managed to get to the city himself he can find his way home himself. She was not happy with me. I did not entertain obnoxious texts after that. She keep poking at me like I had to do it and allow my daughter to go and pick up my brother from running into the city to get his fix. She can enable his behavior all she wants but leave me and my kids out of it!
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Good for you for holding your ground, Patty. So freakin proud of you!!
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Another
Great job Patty. And you’re protecting your daughter. She doesn’t need that shit.
Good for you.
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Thank Lisa and Eric! I was pretty happy with myself. I told my other brother and he was glad I said no too. I will protect my kid til I die!
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I can relate so much to this. 
for you.
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Hey there, @EarnIt and @Dazercat! I am trying to catch up on threads this morning.
Eric, I just want you to know how much I admire you and your wife for raising two fucking amazingly brilliant children. Your wife is lucky to have such an amazing family.
Jene, my Midwestern friend, I’m so glad that you joined The Luckiest Club (TLC). I typically go to evening meetings and always have my camera on. My name is Jenny. I look forward to seeing you! Also, hope your kiddo picks KC Art Institute so we can connect. I appreciate you sharing about your childhood and what your dad is going thru.
Im grateful for you both!
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Wow Patty, this was a big step it probably was very difficult to do! You did a really awesome thing there, this will build some serious anti-codependecy muscle! 
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So we are going off to Austin Thursday.
Lots of work with 6 pets to get them to the kennel.
I’m so glad my kids came here to surprise the fuck out of my wife last week with their…. I guess I’m going to call it and intervention. Although she’s still drinking. 
but not as much. But sometimes she is. Anyway…… last time we were in Austin we were both drinking. She fell. Come to find out many weeks later she got a stress fracture in her foot. She couldn’t walk but she did and that’s probably what caused it. Eventually they put her in a boot. My wife does not go to doctors. She doesn’t even have a doctor now. So ya I been a little terrified about how her drinking will be while we are on this trip. It’s not the only time she’s fallen and and hurt if not broke an ankle.
The reality is I cannot control her drinking.
I cannot cure her drinking.
I didn’t cause her drinking. But I did have a big part drinking with her for 38 years most of which was in Austin.
I’ve got to turn it over to God. I’ve got to protect my own sobriety. And I cannot! I will not! Drive myself crazy!! by trying to manipulate our stay to try and minimize her drinking. This is also my trip to Austin. I deserve to have fun for the first time sober in Austin. I’ve worked so hard to get where I am today 22 months sober. I hate to use the word “should” but I should be able to have a nice time in Austin and not have to spend the whole time worrying about what might happen if she drinks too much. I already know what might happen.
God
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change. The courage to change the things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference.
Amen
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I appreciate your shares. You inspire me to keep going
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Thanks for sharing about the upcoming trip…I hope it goes well for both of you! And you are absolutely right, you do deserve so enjoy it. Keep us posted!
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So I caught myself flagging down the waitress yesterday because my wife’s Chardonnay was warm. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU BIG GUY 
At least I caught myself. It’s amazing how ingrained bar or cocktail service has been in my life. Especially me being a codependent. I did stop myself. And I have also never seen my wife get up from the table and return a glass of warm white wine. So many issues here. Yes, of course, she’s still drinking. You didn’t really think she was going to stop? I didn’t. It doesn’t work that way. But she has cut down on the days we don’t go out to lunch. But it’s not my job to keep track. And she hasn’t slept on the couch from too much wine 2 or 3 times since the kids came.
I am happy to have caught myself trying to fix her drink problems. I will continue to work on me. That’s all I can do.
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Today was my Mom’s 91st birthday. My brother who is always high on pot had a bad attitude at her dinner, which was at her house. There were just 5 of us (Mom, brother and sil, spouse and me).My sober spouse (38 years sobriety) doesn’t have enough sense to ignore him. We weren’t even there 10 minutes before my brother was rude to him and then spouse had a bad attitude. The last time we were together was when my niece visited in August. In 3 weeks another niece will be here and we’ll see them again. Give me strength to keep my mouth shut. You would think that someone with almost 40 years of sobriety would be a kinder more tolerant person. My sil and I talked about the idiots we married. 
They’ve known each other 27 years and it’s getting worse and worse. I’d rather leave spouse at home.
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My trip to Austin went great. I didn’t really worry about my wife’s drinking, at all, now that I think of it. Now that I think of it I don’t think she had one cocktail. She had plenty of wine. That doesn’t matter as I’m going to have fun whether she drinks or not. Each night we passed the bar to go up to our room. We would always stop in the bar to have a couple of side cars to unwind from visiting friends. We were usually pretty well, let’s say, more than tipsy by then. Anyway on the last night. When we would usually get all liquored up before bed I asked her if she missed doing that with me. She said ya, a little. She knows it’s better if we just go up to our room. I told her I kind of miss it too. I mean it was fun. It was our fun. For years. I don’t really miss it. Especially the next mornings wicked hangover. It’s just weird. I’m glad I don’t feel like I want to do that anymore. We’d go back to the room. She’d have more wine. Sleep on the couch a few hours. As usual. And I’d just do my thing on TS and sleep well and wake up feeling proud and like I accomplished something simply by not doing something. Drinking.
My happiness and choices in life cannot depend on my alcoholic partner or anyone else for that matter.
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