I think you did a good big thing just venting. Get it off your mind and out of your body, and as @Lisa07 said, just turn it over. Far from easy.
The meetings and counselling and stuff like that? I think like Lisa said you gotta keep those up - they’re a strong and necessary counterweight to the other stuff going on in life, the stuff out of your control.
Hugs to you, dear friend. 
So glad to see you letting it out here with us. Don’t ever feel bad about complaining/ venting…that’s exactly what we are here for. Can’t keep that shit bottled up. Sometimes you just need to shout it out in every which way.
Grateful for the Oom meeting and your other meeting tonight. Hope your recovery tools are helping you find your inner calmness. We really can’t control anything- especially not an addict as they themselves can’t control the disease.
I am sorry that your California side is not being more helpful with this move.
Sending you love my friend. We are here with you and for you. 
Daze you’ve got a lot on your plate right now and every reason to be stressed. I’m glad you talked it out here. Sending hugs.
That surely sounds like a lot. Which begs a question: do you need to be on the same flight? (I get that you prolly have tickets already etc.) Could you entertain the thought of not travelling with her?
Italy?! OMG, I looooove to go!!!
My husband has a lot of health issues, autoimmune disease that he has to take scary medication for, eye pressure problems that he has to have surgery for and takes 4 different eye drops. He just received a new eye drop a week or so ago and started feeling exhausted, enough to take 2 to 3 hour naps after work. We read the side effects and that’s the cause. He stopped taking them Saturday……which is scary, because this was a last resort until surgery on April 25th. He felt better Saturday and Sunday and didn’t drink Friday or Saturday. Last night he went to the neighbors house, his drinking buddy, and got wasted AGAIN. I have talked to him about his daily drinking and how it affects his health and makes his health problems so much worse. He says it doesn’t and he keeps check on all of his bloodwork and liver functions……REALLY???
My dad died of cirrhosis at age 48. I don’t want to go through that again with my husband. I am at my wits end. I know it’s not my problem and I can’t control anything he does. We are 2 years away from retirement. What is our life going to be in retirement? I have read everyone talking about going to AL Anon to deal with their addicted loved one. I don’t know if I want to do that anymore. I love him but I have to love myself when I am with him, and I don’t. I live in fear.
I understand. My husband had to have a liver biopsy and has stage 4 cirrhosis and smokes cigarettes and pot. Gosh, just typing this is hard. He continues to drink. We have our first grandchild coming in June, I just don’t understand why he cannot make an effort. Stay strong.
You stay strong too. 
I just wanted to send a big compassionate hug to this whole thread dealing with loved ones who drink. You are heroes, because there’s no way I think I could have the strength to be around it. Al anon or not. Hugs and love to you all.
Hey Eric,
How was the trip? Is the house everything you wanted?
Aww. Thanks for thinking of me.
We love it! It’s going be great! ODAAT.
I posted on the gratitude thread this morning.
Thanks again for thinking of me.
I hope you are well.
Oh an we have a beautiful Cali garden.
I’m so grateful.
Just popping in for a vent before bed. I’ve been working out after work more lately which means I am extra sleepy at night. On nights that my husband drinks (all of them) this makes communication tough.
He’ll pop into the bedroom to tell me something he thinks is interesting and I listen politely. If my response sounds flat or uninterested (some of the stuff I am just nodding along with to humor him) we have the “I’m sorry for bothering you” (him) “no, I’m just tired” (me) back and forth. It could be much worse, there could be yelling or violence. I just wonder why I am so okay with this low level of connection.
It is hard to feel connected to someone who has had drinks. We have 3 days off together a month and those are really the only days that we are on the same level. Those days are FUN! We have great dinners, lovely talks, watch movies and go for long walks. We connect. The other 27 days a month are harder.
Just venting. If you are sharing a house with a drinker tonight I feel your pain. Thanks for the space as always. 🩷
I’s because you can’t have high level communication with a person under the influence.
I am in the same situation. Sometimes he doesn’t even remember what we talked about. It’s a lonely life most of the time. Hugs to you
Yep. That’s it right there. Sending hugs back. 🩷
I echo @Jeannie0915 and I feel with you both @TrustyBird and @Jeannie0915
I will never forget how lonely and loveless it felt beside my drinking husband. No real communication, not remembering, being annoyed/pissed/hurt/content when sober me withdraw from his drunken ignorance … it’s lonely, it hurts, they don’t listen nor understand anything you talk about. Sending hugs and giving myself hugs too, it still hurts
Its odd to remember that I was recently that drunk person too. Always pushing away, angrily fighting and never remembering the night before. It is better in my skin these days so that is where I’ll stay. Sending you healing hugs too @erntedank. 🩷🩷🩷🩷 A heart for you and one for each of the kitties.
Oof, I think it’s a full moon or something. Sending hugs, @Jeannie0915 @TrustyBird @erntedank. It sucks to feel this way. Good thing we know where to find comfort
Had a moment myself just now. Dad was over to drop something of. I asked him whether he thought about where to go for our planned weekendtrip (it was a birthday present to him). He told me, he doesn’t think he can spare a couple of days this YEAR!! And his wife wouldn’t be happy if he’d be gone so much, because, well, he already booked so many vacation weeks so he can’t be gone another night. THIS YEAR! So lets put it on hold until… well, he doesn’t know…
Not gonna lie, I cannot find a way to not take this personal. That f*ing hurt. 
Happy I found a place to scream into the void.
Welcome to the void … join us screaming!
Thank you 
I’m grateful I remember every day of my life and I’m even more grateful angry me has retired. It’s difficult to differenciate between what my ex’s behaviour (or mostly lack of it) contributed to anger, rage and fury and what my own codependent patterns, helplessness, lack of seeing a better future, longing for love & connection caused resentments, fights and wishful thinking. To be honest I’m grateful this shit is over, I couldn’t live like that beside my ex anymore, especially as I came to the conclusion that his love for me was long gone, I didn’t sense any anymore. Still chewing that he never had the balls to frankly tell me: I don’t love you anymore. Fuck it.
This is such a wise statement. We really are only in charge of ourselves. I’m glad you removed yourself. He is on his own now.
@Pandita that really stinks and I think your Dad deserves to know that it hurts your feelings. Any chance for an open conversation about it?