Yet your last post was 7 months ago.
What have you been trying, seriously trying to get and stay sober? The mute wish itself won’t get you there. And simply not drinking willl also not be enough.
Engaging, reading and posting here is a major asset in early and later sobriety. Would be a good starting point.
Here are some things that have helped other ppl who did them: Resources for our recovery
Here is what folks with long term sobriety can pass on: Your #1 tip for sobriety (over 2 years sober)
Good luck. It can be done. But you gotta do something.