Your almost there… and I love to see this.
My experience, strength and hope comes from attending for that exact reason… FEAR!
At around day 11, I noticed them asking for volunteers to go conduct Thursday night meetings at the rehab hospital.
What better way to cling to fear, than to see that level of pain. So I immediately want to get involved with that.
The AA member warned me, that it sometimes is not a good idea for a newcomer to go. People there can be nonresponsive, and it can feel like a waste of time. But we do what we do, we go, we carry the message, and we HOPE to reach somebody.
I did not care about any of that. I needed that reminder of the ugliness.
After my 3 time about day 35… Alan walks into our Friday night meeting, and announced that he was not impressed with any AA group’s during his rehab time, and had pretty much decided it was a waste.
But Michael, Dominique and Chris showed up last night and he felt like maybe he should at least check it out.
It was at that moment … my pain, fear and worry, my obsession was removed.
I don’t attend AA anymore to keep myself sober. I attend AA because me staying involved could possibly pass along this great gift that I received.
I want the hand of AA always available to the one still suffering… for that I am responsible.