buffet at work so kinda ate my way across the table but did only have the smallest bit of carrot cake and made sure to eat some carrot sticks and cucumber and peppers with humus. also finished the day with an orange. NO chocolate. I’ve not got a counter bc I don’t want the added preasure but so far so good.
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Keep up the good work Dolse! You’re doing great! 
cheers I’m not sure what I’m trying achieve yet but I know that the amount I eat is disgusting and there really isn’t any need for it. All I’m doing is replacing alcohol with food or shopping at the minute. I’ve just never been Mr Average it’s all or nothing and it’s very rarely been nothing 
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I can relate to the all or nothing mentality. It’s the hardest part to overcome.
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Day 62 : No binge today. Feeling yucky, I have what seems to be a cold. 
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Thank you, and I’m glad this thread is helpful to you Capricious. I hope this thread continues to give you the strength you need to recover with us.
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Thank you for sharing, CC. You are so brave. I’d like to live in denial of my demons, because I don’t feel strong enough to face them head on. But I’ve found that they grow when I hide them. I can’t say I know what your illness is like, but I do know what it is like to obsess over the food and the weight and the numbers and the counting. It can be mentally and even physically debilitating. It takes a lot of strength to keep fighting. But please keep fighting! You are worth it. I will be thinking of you and sending you strength for today.
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Great suggestion! I never would’ve thought of that. Thx.
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Hey there, Dolse. It sounds like you are having impressive self awareness and mindfulness, and for me, those are so important. Keep going!
Congratulations on two months! I also lurk on this thread, but didn’t want to interfere, and also doing so poorly I didn’t want to drag the mood down. In my teens and twenties I had bulimia-like disordered eating, binging at times, starving at others, using laxatives and diet pills to excess, eating tissues or paper to feel full. Which kept my weight kinda normal. Alcohol confused matters, I would starve before drinking, and then the vomiting after helped keep weight down too. I have been better about starving, pills and drinking, but still binge. And without compensatory behavior, I am gaining weight. And feeling panicky and hating myself and not wanting my husband to touch me (there is more to that too). I really fear I cannot get this under control.
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Just found this thread. I had a huge problem with an eating disorder involving also binge eating.
I am getting much better now. I haven’t binged eat so far since February 2nd and I really wish keep going! 
But it’s not that much about the act of binge eating itself like about WHY I do it. And that’s what I need to sort out, and man, it’s not easy at all 
So far I am using rather willpower than healing the problem but I already know that it’s not going to work in long term. And so I am about to really put some work in and sort my mind out!! 
Anyway, here are few tips which are helping me not to binge eat:
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I cut sugars. No sweets and snacks. I’ve decided to do this for 30 days (or more if I feel like it) because I read that it’s the number of days to change a habit.
Cutting sugars helped me to get rid of acid reflux which I used to experience every day. -
I am not eating after 8pm. I got kinda used to it after a day or two of cravings and it became easier to stick with it now. I used to binge eat in the evenings meantime watching telly, so this new pattern makes a huge difference to me. Plus I sleep better!
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I must have a plan for a day about what I am going to more and less eat (and if possible also when). I learnt to plane in time frame rather than to plan an exact time for my food in case I can’t make it because of something unexpected appeared.
I also accept if I fault my plan and ate something extra. I don’t panish myself for it anymore. -
I am trying to eat my food slowly and be aware about what I am actually eating. I concentrate on the taste and on chewing the food. This makes me feel full sooner and I over eat less likely.
To do this require paying an attention to food -not watching telly, not being on my phone, not working, etc. -
I bought healthy “emergency snacks” like nuts, dried fruit, yoghurts, fresh fruit, etc. So if I am sometimes hungry in between the planned meals I go for these.
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I am paying attention to what my body has to say about each food. There are types of food which make me feel bloated or giving me IBS pain. It’s great to be finally able to realise which food is not optimal for me and avoid it.
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I don’t weight myself.
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I am learning to accept and appreciate my body. I still need to work on this more but I definitelly have much better relationship with my body now then ever before.
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I run and exercise because it makes me feel better and healthier. I think it’s important to include some movement to your recovery. It doesn’t need to be an obsessive everyday exercising (which is unhealthy anyway) but believe me, if you learn to do something regularly it can be only benefitial. You can try to do it for a moth and see whether you want to stick with it for longer or not
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I am patient.
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Hi Flo.
I also had bulimia. I am sorry that you’re struggling.
Why is it that you don’t want to gain weight? This is a question I asked myself one day and my answer was: Because I don’t want to be fat of course.
And then I was thinking why I don’t want to be fat? I remembered days back in my life when I didn’t care and think about my weight and body shape at all and I also remembered when I started to be concern about all of it. I realised that most of my experience was a feeling that once I started to gain weight that people I hang out with didn’t appreciate me and were less friendly with me than how they were with my thinner friends. And it made me believe that to be appreciated and loved I must be slim.
The problem is, and I didn’t see it before, that those people were worthless. It was a group of boys who wanted only sex. Once I slept with one of them when we both super drunk and he expressed a huge shame for sleeping with “that fat pig” in front of the whole group people I tried to fit in without any compassion with me sitting there too. And this kind of experience I had for really long time when I was in the age between 15 to 17. No wonder I was so fixed on being slim after I finally lost some weight.
You must have something deeper to it, too. This helped me realise how silly I was believing to slim = loved and successful for so long!! Today, I am older and more experienced. I am meeting people of different shapes and weight and they’re all successful and loved and nobody who is smart and worth ever judged them if they were what I’d call “fat”. I stopped purging after this deep thought and it was approximately 6 months ago. I was really at very desperate stage that time, even waiting for professional help. When I got meeting with therapist and told her my realisation and steps I took after, she told me I don’t need her 
I stopped purging but kept binge eating. I gained weight from the beginning and got bloated for few months. I thought I am pregnant lol. It was hard to accept it, but I read it’s normal. I just had to trust the process and not freak out. I stopped care about my body shape and weight that much and just let it go. I stopped looking at every each mirror or reflexion in windows and I concentrated on my well being. With time my weight went back down, I could feel it. I unfortunatelly damaged my stomach and digesting and it’s harder to process some food now. But I am glad I am not purging anymore. Lot of health issues dissapeared since then.
Regarding to binge eating, it’s a different capture of my life. I did it and I just sticked with it until I felt I am ready to start working on it too. Which is now. So far I know that I have problem that I am very bored and so I eat. Or I eat when I don’t feel comfortable with my feelings and feel sad. I love to eat watching tv, then I don’t know when to stop So I apllied some rules but it’s not only about strict following them and punishing myself if I faul. I also put a deeper sense and work into this. I am analysing when I feel urge to over eat and what leads to it. I don’t give in anymore. I really am aware about my thoughts and mindset. It is very important and powerful tool / thing to do.
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Thank you for your long reply. Indeed, why I am I so obsessed with weight? For me, my mum was a model, and she got her self-esteem from attracting men, and had affairs throughout her marriages. She showed me a woman’s worth is being thin and sexy. But I am plump and plain. She put me on diets, called me a sack of potatoes. My brother also plainly told me my sister was cute and slim but I am not. I was too scared to attempt anything with a man unless I was totally drunk. I cannot change my face but I can try to keep those numbers down. It is particularly hard because I have cupboards of snacks for the children. Once I have one I lose all control. I guess certain foods I have to treat like booze, one is too many, a thousand is not enough.
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Hey y’all
@Aleyadaisey
I just got caught up on this thread. It’s seems like more people are joining in. I butted in once I hope you don’t mind if I check in once and awhile Aleya? You are doing a great job on not binge eating. Way to go!! That’s awesome.
I never thought I had an eating disorder and I don’t really think I do but… I can totally relate to bing eating and what Stella said. @CapriciousCapricorn
It’s all or nothing for us addicts. And that goes for me with food.
I do the weight loss checkin because I want to maintain the 50 pounds I lost and I’m terrified that, as usual, I will gain it all back. I’m really determined to keep it off. But I don’t want to join Noom again and want to keep myself accountable. Noom was a great app or tool for me. No problem with Noom. I highly recommend it.
So here I am.
So I struggle with always cleaning my plate even when I’m full and eating what my wife leaves behind. Or finishing off all the ice cream we had in the house for my blueberry pie. Not too mention the blueberry pie. Or like on Sunday super bowl. I finished off all the ribs when I was already full. We never have BBQ ribs. In my mind I MAY NEVER HAVE THEM AGAIN! So I made sure I ate them ALL. After all, the ribs are mostly bone. I felt like shit the rest of the evening physically and mentally.
Anyway… I haven’t done that since super bowl Sunday so I’m feeling good about that.
I didn’t waste any pie or ice cream that week either. I’ve actually lost a pound and I’m 2 pounds under goal weight but I like my weight 5 pounds under goal weight. It’s just so hard to maintain goal weight once you get there. I think that’s why I want a 5 pound buffer. I don’t know.
Thanks for letting me share.
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While I’m here there’s another side to my Girl Scout cookie story I’m not proud of. I did reach my goal weight. And found a website that sold Girl Scout cookies and thought I’d buy some on line for my kids and have them shipped. Since I made or was pretty close to goal weight I ordered some for my wife and me. Here’s the kicker. They were gross. All melted or stuck together or broken. But I ate them all anyway. My wife said they were gross and didn’t eat any. Not me. It won’t be Girl Scout cookie season for another year!!! 
And ya I ate them all. I felt awful. Physically and mentally. Mostly mentally. I don’t know what happens in my brain when I just won’t stop eating them. And they were gross. Did I want to get my moneys worth? I don’t know. I’m definitely skipping Girl Scouts cookies this year. Unless I buy them for the girls selling them.
Thanks for letting me share again.
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Hi Dazercat! I don’t really have much advice but I hope you find this thread helpful. You and anyone else who wants to recover from binge eating can post here as much as you want to.
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Day 63 : No binge today.
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Great job on 63 days.
And thanks for the welcome. No worries about advice. Sometimes it’s just great to put things like that out there.
Not sure the exact definition of what a binge is. But I only ate my 3 flautas for dinner and didn’t eat the one my wife left behind like I would usually do. I don’t feel stuffed or uncomfortable so I get a win. 
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Day 36. Alone but ok on Valentine’s Day. For me, a binge is overeating but for a purpose other than fueling my body, such as using food to meet any kind of emotional need like fear, anger, sadness, boredom, or even joy and excitement. I can binge for so many reasons, sometimes when it doesn’t seem like there is a reason. It usually involves losing control and feeling compelled to eat. That’s how I think of it. And I would do it every day, all the time, if I wasn’t working my program.
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4 red velvet mini cup cakes, 4 Ferrero Roche, not bad bc I was literally craving shit loads of chocolate like I used to alcohol and drugs but did manage to get some fruit in again and cooked a proper meal instead of McDonald’s or other convenient junk.
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