I second what @Alisa and @Aleyadaisey have said.
With how little you’re used to eating your body is likely in a survival mode trying to hold on to everything it can. I had to work intensively with a therapist to address my ed and I wasn’t supposed to weigh myself in that time. Healing our metabolism and our relationship with food takes time and often professional help is necessary. Keep working towards increasing your intake and have as much compassion for yourself as you can. 
I really appreciate y’all @anon9289869 , @Alisa , @Aleyadaisey , @Juli1
For being here with me on this journey. And thank you for letting me vent, check in here with y’all. I do agree that my body is probably in an altered metabolic state and I’ll need to fix it…and that takes time. I’m just having a rough night. Hopefully my mindset will be better after some sleep, if i can get to sleep…
Lots of 
Big hugs for you. I applaud you for what you have already overcome … You are almost 50 days free! That’s awesome. I am happy for you.
I respect that you would not want to get any bigger than what you are. I respect that you could have an eating disorder. I also know that you’re not getting enough calories. I know that you have a super demanding job at work, and lots of demands on you at home trying to keep 9 people happy, fed and well. And your own self. You could very well have a thyroid problem, who knows until you get checked with tests. I’m glad that you’re agreeable to that even though you’re not crazy about Dr.s.
and trying to find an answer to improve your eating situation.
I would expect that your job is physically demanding as in you probably get many many steps.
I hope that you are able to start eating some nutrient dense food where you will get some more calories and more nutrients.
I feel like unintentionally or because of how your body is working that you’re almost starving yourself. You have to stay good for yourself and all those who love you and care for you like me.
Avocado on those sandwiches, nuts, peanuts, peanut butter. Fruit smoothies.
Your body has gone through a lot of changes.
You are smart and you try so hard to do a good job of taking care of yourself. And everybody else.
A simple blood test will tell if you have a thyroid problem.
A primary care doctor can do it. I don’t want you to worry about your neck and what it looks like and the color of your skin. You need to get checked out. I’m glad that you agree
I’m hoping that you won’t have anything major wrong with you.
Hopefully you just need to figure out a better way to eat and possibly take some thyroid medicine.
Every little bit that you continue to take care of yourself is a gift to all of those around you.
I understand about it all taking so much time. Eat some food, my friend, you need it. 500 cal is basically starvation mode. Big hugs.
Honestly I find this hard to believe. The theory of the body holding on to fat in survival mode can explain not losing “those few extra pounds” under the condition that the person only diets without any physical activity. But anyone chronically consuming this little will be undernourished and super thin. And they would not survive this long term.
Have you tried logging your calories in an app? Years ago I used mymacros to get conscious about how much of what I was actually consuming. It comes with inbuilt settings if you don’t want to make your own diet plan (which I would not recommend in your case) so you can get enough of what you need or at least get a clear picture of what is actually happening and then you can take it from there. One day at a time. This shit surely is hard. But I got the feeling you are treading water there. That whole one meal a day situation is not good.
Have you thought about eating disorder treatment?
In general, weight is intake Vs expenditure. If you eat enough with a small caloric deficit and are physically active, you will lose weight.
Wish you all the best.
There are certainly days that I have binged to make up for not eating. Before i started my timer for a ‘regular eating’ my typical pattern would be don’t eat for 2-3 days and eat too much when i finally did eat.
I have not eaten 500/cal/day consistently but i have made myself eat every day for the past 10 days despite my not so great feeling about eating…and usually the meal is between 500-1000 cal.
I have not had a good relationship with food for most of my life.
When i was young i was praised for finishing a plate which made me want to more
But when i got to about 11 i was severely depressed and i couldn’t eat, and lost a lot of weight and everyone complimented that, so my brain switched to DONT EAT so they have something nice to say to you.
I spent a year in psychiatric care (because i was suicidal) and meals were timed. If you were going to eat you had to do it at mealtime they provided.
So i would “test my strength” and skip as many meals as i could in a row.
After I left there, as i grew and other things happen I didn’t have access to proper meals so i ate as much as i could because i didn’t have food security and i may not have another meal…
Ive always had a weird relationship with food. I have always eaten too much or too little. And my body isn’t used to having a “normal” meal every day.
But also, yes I was diagnosed with bulemia and anorexia.
(I no longer purge, haven’t for most of my adult life.) And I didn’t know there was a treatment available. I will look into that.
You made me tear up with how kind you are! I’ll try not to worry about things i cant control (skin, neck) and do something about what I can control by making the appointment and getting blood work.
I have blended the rest of the fruit dessert I made from your recipe and will add juice to it to make smoothies.
I will try not to focus on weight while my body transitions from the pattern it’s used to, to a more regular pattern.
I am pretty active at work, but aside from putting away orders and carrying the big boxes i don’t do much aside from walking back and forth restocking the milks and syrups. I should track my steps.
I also know that stress can cause higher cortisol and that can also cause weight gain…and with all that I am taking on I am usually under a fair amount of stress…
There really are so many factors at play here. So i will try to be kind to myself and just focus on how i am feeling
This is something i have never thought of before, and I truly appreciate your words! I will try to give my kids the gift of taking care of myself as well as them.
You totally got this Scorpn! I wish you luck with getting the help you need! 
I’ve had my fruit smoothie. No juice needed. 16oz
Cranberry, orange, pear.
It was good. I’ll head to the gym in an hour or two
Day 714 : No binge today. 
Day 50 : No coffee today.
You are doing so well! I love your check ins. Almost 2 whole years of no binging truly an inspiration
Day 19: imperfect regular eating
Thank you all for your openness with your storries and discussions here in @Aleyadaisey thread. I already typed some comments, but I feel a sense of making things complicated in my head Furthermore I thought i feel like i am not the right person to do recommendations.
The point is… Isn’t ED mostly NOT about knowledge?
To me, it’s about the still addictive mind and overwhelming emotions. So I will just share some of my experience during last weeks. Found a good way most of the last 19 days. No significant over or undereating. Had only few days of total struggle with eating, judging and so on… And it was directly accompanying with emotional disbalance.
There were days i ate little and very easy meals, days I ate more carbs (my still triggering macro), days I cooked something nice, days I ate nothing and then some stupid things at work, days I enjoyed Mums kitchen and days i treated myself with vegan chicken nuggets.
But not a binge.
And maybe this imperfect style is just life, as it is. Trying to put pressure out daily helps me a lot. That’s why i call it “imperfect regular eating”.
This morning my body is a bit stiff and I had a short yoga sequence… In the last 5 minutes of it, I hugged myself in a sitting twisted pose, and I really thought, deep from inside what a nice formed body. I felt love. And softness. I felt really okay with myself.
Wishing you all a balanced day 
Day 715 : No binge today.
Day 51 : No coffee today.
Thank you, i’m so glad to be an inspiration to you.
Today I had chicken lo mein with vegetables and sesame seeds.
It was really good! I had a full bowl
I also had a power bar (not sure what kind it was 
)
It was a good day as far as eating went.
A couple hours from day 12
That sounds yummy Scorpn!
Day 716 : No binge today.
Day 52 : No coffee today.
Last night i had a few chicken strips
Today i had a prepackaged dinner that was 290 cal. I think I’ll eat a little something else later…
Not sure. But off to the gym i go
Edit to add I had a jerky stick another 80 cal
And my daughter gave me peanut butter crackers…the pack is 220 cal
It will put me above 500 so I’ll eat them too. I think that’s the least i can have and not have to stop my counter…
Chicken strips are tasty. I like to dip them in my soy free honey mustard. 
Day 717 : No binge today.
Day 53 : No coffee today.
Today, I ate twice.
And I treated myself to a cupcake for my 180 days free from SH.
honestly, it was too sweet for me…but i did have most of it to celebrate my half year. It’s the first time I have managed to go this long without relapsing. Each day is a new personal best