Hi guys.
I didn’t posted for long time.
I had a therapy if you remember. I used to have bulimia and then suffered from binge eating. I called my disorder “Ed”, which can be a name or a shortcut for “eating disorder” (clever, I know)
Anyway. I was doing really well after the therapy for quite a long time. Then I had an abdominal surgery and was doing even better during the recovery time. It was surprising… I was worried that it would be the opposite with all the time I gained and inability of movement. But turned out that having time for myself and no responsibilities allowed me to plan my day to day better without any surprises and routine worked for me and my diet perfectly. I had all the food I needed, all the nutritions and exact timing when to eat. I couldn’t wait to implement it to my normal working life and add all the exercise I normally do too. But it didn’t happen…
Once I started going to work again, all the effort went to a bin. I simply don’t have the luxury to be able to eat as often as I want and at exact time in my busy working day. So I mostly end up eating crap, or in front of my PC during working, eating not enough and then end up stacking my stomach with different snacks in front of telly in the evening. It seems comforting and releaving stress, but in the same time I feel bad afterwards. I am then unhappy that I didn’t resist to all the sugar, feel guilty and like a failure. Not even mentioning the physical discomfort which it gives me, like being bloated and having acid reflux very often. Sometimes I can’t even sleep how bad it is. It’s going on and on in daily routine for months now. It’s affecting my life and also relationship again.
I MUST DO SOMETHING DIFFERENTLY!!
I say that to myself every day but I never lose my hope.
So I was thinking maybe checking in here in the evening could help me to at least remember what I want and hopefully act on it.
For me it is important to get something to eat with my for lunch at work. Be it something from the night before, be it porridge or going to eat with my colleagues. I tend to snack a lot as well at work. It is somehow unbelievable for me (stupid vicious circle) that having a good meal for lunch prevents the snacking. But it is true. Having a real meal prevents from overindulgence. It has to be a mantra for me. And I also manage to eat better when I can eat what and when I want aka not at work. Baby steps.
I can only second this. I bring food with me to work every time. Sometimes two meals and a snack and then I also have stuff for a protein shake at work so I have that too. So @Jana1988 if you can implement some of your planning which you love (me too!) and just plan and prep to bring food to work, I think that would help you out a good bit already!
I did eat today, but i have been nauseous all day. I very much dislike because of the connection it has with my binging and purging days and it brings back the emotional memories… What an odd correlation I think…
Question. If i still feel sick tomorrow and don’t eat, does that mean I should reset my timer?
I am sorry for you feeling sick!
Hope you will get better soon
I think if the reason is feeling sick, you don’t have to…
But maybe you can snack some rice crackers, Pretzel Sticks or something like that and start with a light soup if it’s getting better.
I recommend Asian “congee” for sickness.
I think the most important thing is to not fall back in patterns.
I also make a difference if the reason is no appetite or strong appetite and hunger and so on. For me it’s a good way, just not to have to streight rules. That made a big change.
I wouldn’t worry too much. I ate like a horse during my first few months, craved sweets which wasn’t normal for me. Alcohol is full of carbs and when we quit, our bodies are looking for what’s missing.
Early sobriety during the holidays is also tough. Lots of pressure and anxiety anyways, temptation to drink. Saying “no” to holiday foods might be a “bridge too far”.
Maybe allow yourself to “binge” on healthy foods, but allow yourself one food “treat” a day. Also consider building an exercise ritual. I quit in early December, and walked every evening while listening to podcasts. This became my evening ritual, rather than drinking. After my walk, I’d have a small dish of icecream. I came to look forward to my walks and treat, and it really helped me that first 90 days or so.
I think it’s ok. Don’t be hard on yourself, it’s cold and flu season. A lot of people get sick around this time of year, including stomach viruses. Try taking some emetrol, and when you feel better, start with something small like bread or crackers to help absorb the stomach acid. Hope you feel better soon, I understand it’s rough to be sick with a stomach virus.
Struggling with food and thoughts of having to loose weight rapidly. Reason is thoughts about not being good enough. What a bullshit. But its hard!
I ate:
1 toast of spelt with butter and salt
1 small portion of peanut butter curry with veggies and chicken breast,
radicchio cucumber ginger salad
3 slices of bread of spelt with salami and goat cheese
Well, aside from oatmeal i haven’t had much since Sunday…
I was able to keep it down. So that’s a plus. But I’ve had a hard time remembering my food all day. I found some frozen waffles. I might have one of those instead.
I haven’t even been drinking coffee… Only 3oz of espresso each day since Saturday…
I had Sunday and Monday off of work and only drank one 3oz espresso today.
I have a headache, but i didn’t feel good enough to drink much other than water. So that’s good i think
I was having a hard time staying present and kept forgetting everything. It was pretty frustrating actually…
Food, what I was doing (grabbing from the back room) so i kept having to go back and forth…etc.
because of the connection it has with my binging and purging days and it brings back the emotional memories… What an odd correlation I think…
