140 days no takeaways.
136 days no ice cream.
21 days no sugar.
2 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
Not doing great mentally. Barely sleeping. Still very hyperglycemic. I can add another pill from tomorrow night.
Losing my grip on my will to live. Memes are a good distraction, I’ve been looking at them for 12hrs straight, yet I can’t focus on what I actually need to do which is check-in on the main thread here, and now I’m 363 posts behind.
Ate during the night again at 1 and 3am. Nothing major, but I’d prefer not to. I’m not planning on having anything available during the night from now on.
141 days no takeaways.
137 days no ice cream.
22 days no sugar.
3 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
Lost count of the amount of times I opened my fridge during the night, nothing was there, so nothing was eaten.
Really in a bind since I can’t buy groceries and have to buy food on a daily basis instead, from a ‘convenience’ store which is already quite expensive and even more so because of that. My savings won’t support this for much longer.
The big supermarket in the shopping centre is slightly cheaper, for example; their meals are 3 for £7.50 instead of 2 for £6, but I know I’d end up eating the 3rd one during the night now, so effectively I wouldn’t be saving £1.50 by going there.
Big hugs @CATMANCAM I’m so sorry you’re having such a difficult time plus it worries me.
Is there anything I can do to help you?
I have good thoughts for your best wellbeing one step at a time.
I’m so sorry everything is so messed up for you right now.
I want to put a meme here for you, but it’s got food in it. I think I will anyway you probably saw it on the meme thread. I hope it doesn’t trigger you in anyway. I know you like kitty cats.
Actually, I decided not to post it. It was a picture of a kitty cat, looking at a pancake that looks like a kitty cat and then being perplexed and deciding that he she didn’t want to eat the pancake that looked like a kitty cat. It’s not relevant to you and your eating. It is just a cute meme I posted.
Big hugs Cam. I wish I could stay something intelligent and meaningful that would help you, but I don’t know what. I’m still gonna try. Ha.
A lot of posts seem to be about counting what you are not doing. How about focussing on the good? I ate vegetables or I moved my body in some way. I know I felt better when I starting viewing my body as something to look after, not something hateful and frustrating.
Also I know you can’t keep ingredients in the house as you binge them, but keep eating only ready-meals doesn’t seem sustainable either. First, as you say, they are expensive. Second, they aren’t very filling. I could for sure eat two or three of them easy. Is there no way you could buy enough ingredients for a meal and cook it and eat it? I feel like a big bowl of mostly veggies with some protein and a single pack of noodles would be the same price as ready meals but more filling and healthy. Again, just sharing my experience, but I got out of the binge -guilt- starve - binge - guilt cycle by allowing myself to eat plenty of whole food meals.
Anyway, apologies for the unsolicited advice. I feel sad to hear of your struggles and want to help if I can.
@CATMANCAM I hope you are doing ok friend. Wherever you are in your journey we are here for you. You don’t have to walk alone.
I actually really like @Misokatsu’s suggestions of focusing on the good, the stuff you acomplished. We sometimes loose track of that.
Sending hugs and love
Sending you lots of love @CATMANCAM
I’m sorry you’re not feeling well, that you’re struggling and not at ‘happy place’ right now. But remember that it’s always darkest before the dawn
Are you seeing people? Don’t isolate yourself. If you’re low, the worse is to stay alone with your thoughts and unpleasant feelings. More negative you feel and think - more negativity and unsettlement it will bring. Try to get out of this spiral by doing something nice, what would make you feeling better I know it’s easier sad than down.
I wish I was there to give you a hug and talk and do whatever you need to do to feel better. We all love you and are with you in our thoughts at least Take care
@Alisa thank you for the good thoughts 🩵 @Misokatsu up until July 2022 I used to be able to cook, but the flat I live in now has an electric hob, and I have no idea how to use it, so it’s basically a dumping ground for anything that doesn’t have a home. I learnt how to cook pasta in the microwave, and I know there are microwaveable packs of vegetables because I used to eat those before I ever gained weight. I can work the oven, but I’ve never tried the grill setting. It’s all just a lot to think about. If I could clear the hob and actually figure out how to use it, it would be so much easier to make my own healthier meals. Thank you for some ideas 🩵 @Aleyadaisey thank you 🩵 @acromouse thank you too 🩵 @Jana1988 thank you. Sadly the only humans I see and talk to are my therapists. I genuinely don’t have any friends. It’s been like this since 2020 so I’m just used to it, and I have my cats. Being able to share here helps me feel connection too 🩵 @Sissychris39 welcome back
143 days no takeaways.
139 days no ice cream.
24 days no sugar.
5 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
Day 2 of not going to the shop. My MH isn’t as bad as last weekend so I’m hoping not to get any urges to binge. I’m very sleep deprived so I’m hoping I can fall asleep early. I do want to start catching-up on a TV show that I’ve only watched the first episode of this season, I just can’t see me being able to do it without crisps, so I likely won’t even risk trying to.
Finally caught-up on the main thread here after 8 days! So that feels like an achievement. Time for some meditations, then I’ll feed the cats and see how I feel about trying to press play on episode 2 of the show…
I really do appreciate all of your support, it means alot, thank you.
What has changed since 2020? Did you move places?
When I was an alcoholic,I thought I need nobody and isolate myself a lot. I believe I am used to it, even that I prefer it. But once I got out of it and started social more, by joining running club, I realised that I was missing people without knowing it. And I’m definitely introvert but everyone needs a bit of real connection
I know it’s easier sad than down.
