Cam, it’s all lies and you know it! Nothing from a bag or a bottle or a shop will help us get happier.
You struggle w uncomfortable feelings but they will not kill you. You can just lie there and close your eyes and be w your cats untill they pass. Or are somewhat lessened so that there’s space for other feelings also. If the meditations don’t help blotting them out and audio books don’t help, binge is the next big gun you point at them. But let them be. I know they suck. But they’re there, they’re your emotional reality and you need to go through them, acknowledge them, or this circus will never end.
Addiction on the other hand may very well kill you.
Flo is right don’t focus on the 8stone. That is also self sabotaging talk and you also know that. Anything to justify using. It’s a good thing you came here to share in the middle of the onslaught of your addiction voices, so you can read the replies and know that your fellows here know 100% what that thinking is like, we all have it. You’re not alone in it. But you have to go through the discomfort of weaning yourself off the possibility of soothing w food.
I still think taking action to make a positive connection w your body would be a great thing for you. That connection for me becomes its own motivational source. When I don’t train and eat like shit in combination, I lose that motivation and that positive connection to myself - it gets easier the more active and the more on track you are. And from the lowest level on this is true, you don’t need to be an athlete or whatever, you just need to make a positive connection.
I really hope you didn’t give in. You deserve to get a chance to get off the ground w that stuff. You don’t need it, you don’t need it. Think about it, how will tiny salty things from a bag help you deal w your feelings? They are not connected to you, they are meaningless, they’re just an excuse to disconnect from yourself and your pain. I get why that feels necessary when things become overwhelming, I do it too sometimes still when I’m really down, disconnect that is, not binge really, thankfully. But there’s a level of discomfort I have to bear and especially over the last 5 yrs of my recovery that I absolutely had to bear or I wouldn’t have made any progress in psychotherapy. The pain that comes up needs to be felt. Trying to not feel it is the sole reason we’re addicts in the first place.
Much love @CATMANCAM I speak as a great supporter and cheerleader of you! You can do this, I believe this fully.
75 days no takeaways.
71 days no ice cream.
14 days no sugar.
0 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
Another counter back on zero. Also, aside from bingeing crisps last night, I’m still eating lots of fruit. Can’t seem to resist anything, I’m compelled the moment I wake up.
Will discuss in therapy today. This therapist’s responses aren’t usually very helpful or anti-binge though.
You didn’t let anyone down @CATMANCAM
We are always here for you, as well as you are here for us This is not easy journey what we are undertaking and it’s a process. Please, don’t consider this failure but lesson. You can learn. The most successful people are those who had the most stumbles.
I know how you feel now, but it is ok. The life doesn’t end and you have MANY MANY MORE DAYS in front of you which you can change everything to the way you want it to be. Every day, every moment is unique and brings this perfect opportunity to start over, to do stuff differently.
You’re not lost and you have lots of potential, you’re hanging here and that’s great
I wanna second what Jana says @CATMANCAM, it’s not about letting anyone down here, and it’s no one’s business to feel personally let down by anything you go through. You’re here to get community and support like the rest of us, and I for one am happy to support you cos I see you work and struggle and mean it every day, you show up and you do what you can, you challenge yourself and I respect that. you’ll find your way, with therapy no doubt, to overcome this compulsion and to live a happier life.
Recently, I have been watching some dramas with my daughter. She likes to snack on some crisps and sweets while she watches, and that is fine for an active 11 year old. I do not need to be doing that on consecutive days though. It is hard as she wants to do it together, and I want to model good eating behaviour: not diet culture (mummy must stay slim), but also healthy eating (crisps and sweets are not daily food - especially for a middle aged person).
76 days no takeaways.
72 days no ice cream.
15 days no sugar.
0 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
Nothing much to say. I need to challenge myself to start watching TV without bingeing crisps. I did it earlier this year so deep down I know I can do it, my brain just seems to have forgotten.
@Misokatsu Honestly I think it is absolutely ok to ask your daughter to watch the telly without snacking. It’s not like you are denying her something vital in her life, and sharing an activity means compromising. Mindless snacking while doing something else like watching tv also does not contribute to healthy eating behaviors.
So far so good! Yesterday I decided to share my chocolate which I got the other day with my boyfriend and his mum. Because I already had my “sweet of the day” I kept my portion for today. It was so easy to give most of the chocolate away. It smells lovely, yet I had no issue when my boyfriend was eating it right next to me.
It seems that it really works for me - knowing what I want and making clear decisions about food, as oppose to having an inner fight and never ending debate in my head. I just said, I’m not eating any of this chocolate today and that was it. Simple (kinda ).
Today, it’s here next to me and I know that I need to decide if I want to eat it at all, or give the rest away too. Until I make the decision, the chocolate will be calling me. However, the urges are far away as strong as they used to be.
I am playing with the idea not to have this chocolate at all. I know that I don’t need it and it has no nutritional value for me. So what’s the point
I think, I may surprise my boyfriend and his mum later in the evening and give them the rest of my chocolate.
Another trigger in the house I used to have is the silly ice cream in the freezer. There would be no day when I wouldn’t have any. Now I don’t think about it and remember only when I go to the freezer for something and see it there. It feels like a freedom.
I am not naive and I’m expecting some cravings to appear again at some point. I don’t like to be sceptical but it’s hard to believe that it would be this easy. I really don’t struggle now, and that’s nice. But it’s been “only” 10 days, so let’s see
She doesn’t snack every time she watches something, it is only when we watch a movie together, usually on a Saturday night and not every week. So that is why I said I don’t mind her (or indeed me) doing it. However, this drama watching (a remake of a movie we watched) was happening a few nights running over a bank holiday weekend, and so got a bit much. Anyway, back at school now so no time to watch together in the evenings.
Yesterday was interesting. My mother-in-law brought sweet pastries which I used to love a lot and whenever she’d bring them in past, I’d always binge on them (I’d have like 3 in one go). So first thought I had when I saw them was about eating them all. It crossed my mind instantly and I had no control over this thought. However, it wasn’t harmful, because my rational brain came back straight after and I knew that the thought was only an automatic response to the pastry. A thought of a habit which I built up over a time. Today it means nothing to me anymore. I had one of the pastries and man, it felt good not to have to binge on them
77 days no takeaways.
73 days no ice cream.
16 days no sugar.
1 day no crisps, no binge-eating.
I did go to the shop when I couldn’t fall asleep last night, but I bought fruit not crisps, and managed to save most of it for this morning, to try to break the habit of rushing to the shop upon waking.
Way to go, @Jana1988! 11 days, that’s close to 2 weeks! Keep it up!
@CATMANCAM Hey, don’t beat yourself up, you still have 77 days without takeaways, 73 days without ice cream, and 16 days without sugar! That’s no small feat! You can beat the binge eating, you got this. I believe in you.
This is not easy journey what we are undertaking and it’s a process. Please, don’t consider this failure but lesson. You can learn. The most successful people are those who had the most stumbles.
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