So, I have been investigating why some part of me insists on distracting myself while eating with reading or TV. Today I did a test and did not read or watch TV while eating. I felt a profound loss. Eating gives me good feelings and distracting myself by reading or TV distracts me from uncomfortable feelings.
Since hormonal changes of perimenopause started I experience a lot of intense uncomfortable feelings. This way of mindless eating is a reprieve from them. But it also became a habit. I eat like that even when I donāt feel uncomfortable.
I do the same @acromouse I tried to stop eating without watching TV or having my phone in my hands but I never last. Itās a very strong habit I built and it feels so satisfying! Sometimes I feel like I would not eat half of my meals if I didnāt distract myself.
Itās true that it takes me ages to eat a meal and so I prefer to do something else during it ānot to waste timeā.
Unfortunately, I had to reset my clock yesterday night, hence 0 days no binge.
It wasnāt āa big oneā, but it was still a āmini bingeā and I am not happy about it. The sweets eventually got me
I think that I am ok about it. I take it as a learning curve. Mainly I need to rethink my relationship with sugars. Maybe I should have none at all to make it clearer to myself. I am a beast when it comes to it
Now, seriously. I want to be back on track and do better this time. I think that the wave of craving cought me unprepared. It was fairly easy for the whole time until it wasnāt and I just gave in too easily.
I will do more work on this and prepare myself. This time I know it comes and that itās at about half way through towards a monthā¦
@Jana1988 Your āmini bingeā sounds like real progress to me. Not in terms of what happened but in terms of how you are going about it. Investigating, learning, rethinking. Great job! And yeah, sugar is a difficult one. It is an addictive substance, it triggers your brain chemicals the same way other addictive substances do. I donāt think I know many people who do not overeat on it.
315 sugar
179 UPF
53 gluten
53 dairy
Eating without the excitement of reading or tv is kinda boringā¦
84 days no takeaways.
80 days no ice cream.
23 days no sugar.
8 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
So I didnāt make it the whole day without going to the shop yesterday. Mainly because they didnāt have any strawberries on Monday, so I didnāt get my āfinal fixā. Well, they still didnāt have any yesterday, so I bought some other fruit and only spent less than half of what I have been.
Iāve just been today too, and they did have strawberries, so I got some, but still kept my spending to half. Now today can be my last day of going there because Iāve had my āfinal fixā.
Husband went to Costco and bought various things. I was tempted to eat more sweet stuff after my one serving, but was firm and put it away and told myself it will still be there tomorrow. Delay donāt deny.
85 days no takeaways.
81 days no ice cream.
24 days no sugar.
9 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
Today so far, not so good. Iāve been to the shop and spent Ā£20+ again. Last night I also bought some meals. Things are not going to plan so far this month. Hoping to turn it around and be stronger.
Recently I am getting into apple slices and peanut butter as a snack. I like it because it is not guilt inducing like chocolate or cake, but it doesnāt trigger restricting either because I know the peanut butter is pretty high calorie, relatively. I feel like I am eating it for the right reasons.
87 days no takeaways.
83 days no ice cream.
26 days no sugar.
11 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
Very intense therapy session yesterday, very stressful train journeys there and back, lots of pain and fatigue, but no urges to buy food or binge.
I also walked over 10K steps yesterday! From the station to therapy, and then back again. The reason Iām not sleeping right now is that my back pain has not settled like it usually does when I lay down.
Good morning
I am somehow still at a square one, being in this cycle when in the morning Iām full of belief in success, but in the evening I binge brainlessly. Itās annoying and I want to end it again. So here I am today with new hope.
I donāt know why every time when I fell off a vagon, I find so hard to get back on. And itās literally just the first day to overcome. Once thatās done I usually can stay on for at least a couple of days
This binging business is really interesting. Itās like if I am someone in the morning and someone else later in the day.
I also noticed (and I think I know this for a long time), that I donāt have as much problem with self control during the day, but evenings are my issue. Maybe I am bored, because itās a quiet time after a busy day. It almost feels like I need to be engaged in something and distracted as much as possible, otherwise Iāll want to eat sugar. Itās such a nonsense really. Now Iām even knowing thatās something I donāt want to do when actually doing it. I am eating that chocolate knowing that the other me doesnāt want it anymore, yet Iāll have more and more until I eat it all. Most of the time I donāt even enjoy it, sometimes I feel full and it is almost disgusting in my month, yet Iāll still finish it. I donāt get it.
Binging is really such a weird thing. It makes no sense to me whatsoever
Iāve been hillwalking in Scotland w my ex man this week past. We used to do this a lot before the pandemic, then we couldnāt and then sadly we broke up. Coming back here has been so familiar but also I feel so different in all the ways Iāve changed since sobriety. One thing Iāve realised is how unhealthy I was before w eating and nourishment around our hikes. The Highlands are wild, when the weather is bad youāre exposed to ice cold rain, slush, fog, harsh icy winds for hours and hours on end all on top of going up and down steep rocks and carrying a heavy pack (cos we always camp). I would starve myself on top of that. Ofc I would eat, but I would eat as little as possible ( which would still be a good amount under other circumstances, but up there you burn through energy like nothing cos you so exposed and you strain for many hrs a day). I would add extra hardship onto the normal hillwalking and camping hardship to make everything harder on myself and to feel even more accomplished when it was over. I would suffer. And that would get me very high and through the pain of the walks.
This time, I didnāt want to feel this way. I dont starve my body anymore and I didnāt want to lose weight up there, coming down w my clothes all loose. I ate as much as I could and felt that I needed every chance I got, and denied add on walks at the end of the trip, through the Glens, just to do more walking - my ex is like a mountain goat, inexhaustible. I had enough after three days. The sense of achievement wasnāt as great, but neither was the low afterwards. I felt a lot more sane during, I didnāt abandon myself, and I set I think a new bench PR yday in the gym up here yday or close to it, I didnāt have my notebook so canāt be sure, but defo did v good. Clothes still fit, too.
Thank you I very much relate to how you describe your relationship with sugar, especially the part about it tasting disgusting but not being able to stop until itās all gone. You will get back on track, I wonder if listening to the Defeat Your Cravings episode you found the most helpful would help refresh you.
in the UK)
