Day 1128 : No binge today. 
Sorry to hear about your reset, @Misokatsu. I’m glad you have a plan in case you get bingey again. You can do this. 
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54 no sugar
10 UPFs
10 dairy
Felt hungry all day yesterday and definitely overate for lunch and dinner. Feel a bit unsure about the counter. Did not eat any sugar or other triggers foods, but the overeating felt a bit like loss of control. Like I really wanted to overeat…
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About to go to bed with one day not binging.
The husband was eating biscuits and offered me some, but I just clearly said if I eat one I’ll eat loads so no.
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@Misokatsu Way to go on saying no to those biscuits!
I had some time to think about my overeating yesterday and how I want to deal with it. I want to share my thoughts here.
I realized a few things:
- This whole recovery business is actually a journey and not a goal to be reached and to be through with.
- The journey of recovery is also a journey of discovery. Discovering layers of life I have been ignoring or trying to numb down, my feelings and new ways of dealing with all of it.
- I am quite clear on sugar, UPFs and - for at least 90 days - dairy. Eating these will trigger cravings and will make me loose control over my behaviour. I don’t want that. Those counters stay as they are.
- I am not really clear on the whole ‘overeating’ concept. I have to learn more about myself, about my eating habits and my feelings around food and eating. If I had a counter for ‘overeating’, I would not know right now what counts as a reset.
I decided to dive deeper into my eating processes and to educate myself on why and how we use eating or food. I found a helpful podcast about eating in menopause. It has very clear actionable items every episode and it centers around feelings and how to find a way to be at peace and trust oneself with food. And this is what I am looking for: Peace.
I’ll keep posting my updates and thoughts with my daily check-ins.
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Sending u hugs friend. This cycle of binge eating is frustrating. I totally understand this as binge eating, overeating, and emotional eating are all issues for me. Youve gained some great time in the past and i know u can do it again! We are all hear to support one another 
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These are some fantastic insights! I struggled with the concepts of binge eating vs overeating, because they seem to be almost related. But for me (and maybe this will help u. Hopefully what im saying is correct) is binge eating is a complete loss of control of how much I am eating. I usually eat much faster than normal when I binge. Whereas overeating is a conscious decision to eat more than what i planned. I dont feel out of control when i overeat (like I would with binge eating) but I choose to eat more wether I am hungry or not. Also, I dont necessarily eat that fast when i overeat. Hope that made sense. I suppose these 2 terms have different meanings for everyone but thought id share my thoughts in case it helps. I do find though that if i choose to overeat on say supper… it triggers me to want to binge later on. Like what happened last night for me. So in that sense they are sort of related.
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9 hours in
So last night, after almost having 2 weeks free of binge eating, i slipped up. I was doing fairly well for most of the day. Ended up plating myself a normal amount of stirfry for supper but then decided to have a bit more. I wasnt necessarily hungry anymore after eating my first serving but it tasted so good and thought Id have a little bit more. Well… a couple hours later, here I am eating 2 chocolate bars and chocolate ice-cream for evening snack. I did feel out of control and ate everything in like a span of 10 min 
I felt ill afterwards and very regretful. So this morning i made sure to get back on track. Will keep at it. Thank u everyone for sharing ur stories and insights on here
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Many thanks for sharing. This does help me a lot!
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Hmm, thats what I’m struggling with, how to just get back out there and get back to walking atleast once, then twice a day. I’ve tried a few things so far…the clocks changed when I stopped going, and it was dark at my usual time of 6pm (I’m scared of the dark), so I bought a headlamp, and a torch, it was also raining a lot so I bought waterproof over trousers…none of that worked, I used the trousers once, and I haven’t been for any walks in the dark.
For swimming, which if I had a private pool I know it would be no issue at all bcuz I really do love swimming, it’s my fear of being targeted in the changing room again, which i assume was bcuz of my size, so I want to weigh less than I weighed at the time it happened which was 15st 4lbs, today I weigh 16st 11.8lbs. I am still very terrified of the changing rooms, even though verbal abuse doesn’t cause me any physical harm, it was very triggering and I felt very vulnerable, and I don’t want to feel like that again. Ideally, I’d be down to around 13st and hopefully the balloon belly would be flatter by then, although no guarantees as I have diastasis recti.
I am following a VLCD (very low calorie diet), so I get the shakes and porridges delivered. I dont binge these things. I cant buy regular groceries bcuz I just eat and eat and eat until it’s all gone, I cant sleep until there is nothing left. I have tried on a few occasions recently to the same effect, even with healthier stuff.
I do have weights, and resistance bands, but I have always struggled to motivate myself to workout at home, even when I had much more room, so I’ve rarely used them. The resistance bands I dont know how to use, bcuz they seem to need to be attached to something stable, and I just can’t figure them out. They aren’t the type that physiotherapists use. I have just bought a balance board, it arrived last night, and I’m hoping I will use that, bcuz my balance is currently appalling.
Those are all the obstacles I think of when I try to figure out why i can’t seem to do stuff. I could go for walks during school hours to avoid the bullying, and I have waterproofs, and the headlamp and torch, so there really is nothing stopping me, other than, I really struggle to restart something when I stop, even if I only stop for one day, and of course, the longer I don’t do something, the harder it gets. I am a little worried at this weight that my plantar fasciitis would come back if I was to start walking, so it may be best to wait until I’m back in the 15st bracket, I don’t know if it’s just my mind making excuses though.
I’m happy to hear you thoughts and any suggestions, and thank you for making me think. 
🩵
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I have had some success with a fidget toy previously, so I could try this again. I also don’t binge when i watch TV on the actual TV in the lounge, but I haven’t managed to do that for months, I keep watching on my phone on my bed. I am scared of the lounge as do need to restart exposing myself to it in short bursts. I am scared when I go in there, even though I haven’t used cocaine ever in this current flat, I did in my last two places, so being in there feels terrifying. I did build all the way up to an hour of colouring in there whilst listening to audiobooks, by starting with ten mins, and adding 2mins each day, but when that block of therapy came to an end, I didn’t keep it up, and now it’s scary in there again. I know it sounds so silly.
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I totally agree with you. I would add binging is always in secret. Overeating is often with friends or family. An extra slice of cake at a party. Too many snacks while watching a movie with the kids. Etc
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It doesn’t sound silly, but it does sound like there is much more going on than binge eating, which I am sure you know already.
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Absoltuely!! Great point! I am always super secretive when it comes to binging and do it when im alone. Thats definitly a good indicator of a binge.
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2 days no takeaways.
2 days no binge-eating.
The cravings are flying at me from all angles, and the addict is yelling all kinds of loopholes, but I’m not listening to that noise. Feeling focused and intending to stay this way, ODAAT…
🩵
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Just a quick reply Cam do you know the yt channel by Kiana Docherty? Shes v knowledgeable and talks on behaviour change esp re food addiction.
Also I agree what you share is in no way silly. But you have a lot of hurt and deep things going on that need addressed so that you can get a handle on the binge eating. You seem like a v thoughtful person. I’m sure you can get to your truth via therapy and introspection. Do you journal at all?
You could also find some inspo on how to use your bands on yt. You can put your feet on the ends and get up and down from a seated position for example against the resistance. Or put them around your knees and push your legs open against them. There are many ways to use them.
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Day 1129 : No binge today.
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55 no binge, no sugar
11 UPFs
11 dairy
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These are helpful distinctions. My main issue is with overeating, but it’s not black and white if something counts as a binge. If it’s done at home in secret it’s probably a binge. Bottom line is I want to stop abusing food as a coping mechanism.
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Well said.
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Day 1130 : No binge today.
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