Yesterday evening one of those hormonal waves came over me. I felt icy cold and then feverishly hot. A cloud of fog descended over my brain, I couldn’t think properly. And an extreme urge for high fat food. I already had had supper und was not hungry. I ate nonetheless and obviously overate. Did not feel good, did not sleep well.
I hope next time I’ll be able to stay with that feeling, breathe through it, instead of eating. Explore it more.
Eating does not feed this kind of ‘hunger’. I hope I’ll be able to discern between those two feelings in my body in the future: the physical hunger for food and the hormonal hunger. I don’t need food to deal with the later.
I took a valériane tea which is also plant based and non addictive. The taste us not the best but it works well. the heart is a little repared today. I can’t believe i managed to stay on track yesterday.
Hi guys Just checking in.
Last time I was writing about amending my eating habits to Circadian Clock. I have chosen 10 hours eating window which leaves me with 14 hours of fasting. My window is from 8am to 6pm and today marks 2 months and 6 days of doing this (except maybe two occasions when there was an event involving later dinner but I also then moved my breakfast the other day to keep my 14 hours of fasting).
I’m very happy with this lifestyle because I’m finding it easy to stick with. It’s mainly because it allows me to eat everything in whatever amount I want and in the same time it stops me from binging before bed as I used to do before. I 100% cut down on sugars, because I don’t feel so much cravings for sweet during the day giving that I have a ‘normal’ breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Now, after 2 months of doing this, it became such a habit that I don’t even think about food after 6pm anymore (before I’d eat all my finger nails how stressed I felt about not being able to binge and overwhelmed by thoughts about food). And what do I do with my evenings now when I don’t sit in front of telly munching on all sorts of food?
Well, all the things I’ve never had time for before came to place now. Finally I can read that book, sort out my wardrobe, go for walk or run, study, sometimes still watch telly but this time I pay attention to the story, so I don’t watch some trash just for the sake of watching something.
It’s awesome. A new life gained after dropping binging!
I’m at stage when I feel finally confident to start changing what I eat too. I left that be because I didn’t want to be unsuccessful in creating the new habit by too strong cravings at the beginning. Now I feel ready to give up dairy (I’m lightly lactose intolerant), limit (or maybe give up too) meat (I don’t enjoy eating it very much, so no need for it. I ate it because it was convenient at my house where meat dishes are made very often) and cut on sugar (have it only sometimes as a treat as oppose to daily).
Good luck to me
And to you all doing some adjustments in your life
Just checking in here on Day 4 (I believe it is) of no binge eating. I am choosing to really structure my eating. I find that its when I dont have a plan for my meals throughout the day, is when im at a higher risk to binge. If I stick to a plan, its easier for me to have some sense of control i guess
11 days no sugar.
7 days no binge-eating, no crisps.
4 days no takeaways.
Was craving everything last night, but I did some meditations instead and reminded myself that if I start engaging with my addictions again, I don’t know when I’d be able to stop. Feeling hopeful.
I am now into week three of this inquiry about how and why I eat.
Homework for week one was to ask myself - everytime I put something into my mouth - whether I was hungry. On a piece of paper I started note taking.
The first interesting thing was, with my first meal of this week I just didn‘t know. If you‘d have asked me beforehand I would have sworn that I was hungry most of the time I ate. Turned out I had no idea. So I noted a question mark, and kept this journal for a week. It has a ratio of 17 yes / 6 don‘t know / 4 no.
Another intersting finding was that I didn‘t want to ask myself this question. Why? Why did I feel resentment? Resentment is a useful feeling. It usually is a good idea to follow this feeling. For once I did not want the question to spoil my eating. Which begged the question, why I was eating in the first place? I found more about this later. The other thing I found out was, I was constantly judging myself about eating. And asking myself whether I was hungry felt like one more judging question.
I decided to change my approach a bit. I decided to try to go with compassion. Feel whatever I needed to feel when I asked myself the question, try to note my answer as good as I could, and let all judgemental thoughts go. And then eat. I did not change my eating habits through that week. But I learned a lot.
Thank you the gym that I have still been paying membership for for all this time since the changing room incident, recently was fully refurbished, it has a new E-GYM section, so I booked an induction for that part, which I went to yesterday, got all set-up, but felt to anxious and insecure to do a workout in there, and I was too hot in the outfit I had on, because due to the time of my appt I had no real intentions to stay as it was at the busiest time of day. I did try to use a machine in an empty section in the regular gym, but I only lasted 5mins bcuz I felt so intensely insecure of my size and it was overwhelming, so I walked home. I am planning to go back tomorrow around midday (when it will hopefully be quieter) to do a proper workout in a more suitable outfit.
fuck me this is an amazing update. defo update us again tomorrow!
also once you already on the machine you do 10reps. no matter how you feel. that’s the rule!
and if you feel self conscious on the stupid machine Cam then you go over the the dumbbell rack and you take a 5kg one and you do some slow bicep curls and then you push it up over your shoulders. really slow. just to feel it.
Day 5 of no binge eating
Tonight is going to be HARD!!! Mainly bcuz i have to do the awake overnight shift with my son. His nurse cant make it and we have no other coverage. Me doing the overnight shift is fine but i get extremely tired (Ive already been awake since 6am). Being tired is a HUGE trigger for me to eat when im not hungry. Binge eating can also be an issue. I eat to stay awake. I caught myself tho eith a potential situation.
We have a container of Quality Street chocolates in the fridge that we got for christmas. These chocolates have been a binge eating item in the past, but my husband also enjoys them so we keep them around. Right now the chocolate pieces that are in there are too hard to eat (bcuz they are too cold) and so Id have to thaw them out in order to eat them. Anyways… my husband wanted a few just now. Thats fine. I told him Id leave the container on the counter for them to thaw so that he can have the others ones that are too cold. Then… i stopped… realized that this is a binge eating item for me and told my husband Id have to put them in the fridge for tonight bcuz otherwise i would be hitting the kitchen at all hours of the night, eating chocolate and feeling suuuuuper shitty about it in the morning. If i can just get thru this night id be sooo grateful. Idk what i can do to keep me from eating everything in the damn kitchen tonight. Im going to give it all i got!
@Butterflymoonwoman This is really a hard situation you’ve got there. You took so many good steps. You realised how hard it is going to be. You confronted yourself with the potential outcome. You prepared. You even thought of dealing with the chocolate. You are going into this like a warrior. You can’t know the outcome, but you prepared as best as you could, and you are determined! We are proud of you. And we are right here for you, to listen to your tale of this night.
@Jana1988 It’s really good to hear, you found a lifestyle that gives you peace with food! And your new life sounds exciting. I’m really curious what comes next.
the heart is a little repared today. I can’t believe i managed to stay on track yesterday.
Just checking in.
I hope the hormones settle down soon 🩵
And your new life sounds exciting. I’m really curious what comes next.