Binge eating recovery daily check in thread (Part 2)

@CATMANCAM Congrats on the 30s. I very much hope your mental health improves soon. Until then hugs and strength :people_hugging::muscle:t2::battery:
@Aleyadaisey Hi Ashley :blush:

108 sugar
6 UPF
1 overeating/binge

Goals for today: keeping food journal, mindfulness practice while eating, practicing HALT through the day so I donā€™t get to a place where I neglect my needs so long Iā€™ll binge out of despair.

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I once read that carbs in the evening help you sleep better. So maybe your body needs more carbs with dinner?

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Iā€™ll give it a try. Thanks for a tip!

I know I shouldnā€™t have rules but I created fews.

  • I you have to eat sweets, donā€™t eat them after 5pm
  • Start your eating window at 8am and finish before 8pm (that gives me 12 hours to fast)
  • Have a proper dinner (carbs & protein)

And thatā€™s it so far :woman_shrugging:t4:

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I think that sounds reasonable.

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Day 2

Made some ok choices today, but it was quite difficult. I ate a larger breakfast than normal with the kids so wasnā€™t that hungry so thought, oh, Iā€™ll skip lunch. So then was starving in the early afternoon and feeling guilty for not being able to restrict and wanting to binge eat. So made myself eat a sandwich and fruit even though it was quite late. And it is almost dinner time, so Iā€™ll eat a proper meal again, to try to avoid late night cravings. Honestly, I want to lose the weight that I have put on in the last couple of months of binging, but I keep getting on the restrict - binge cycle again. I need to get back to eating regularly and sensibly before I try to lose any weight. And I need to stop feeling so bad that I am heavier and struggling again.

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Hi @Misokatsu
If youā€™ll be trying to skip food because you ate more than you wanted it will make you gain weight, because your metabolism will slow down because of irregular eating, or because youā€™ll end up binging later because you are hungry.
Not skip food is one thing I learnt and donā€™t do anymore no matter what.

:blush:

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@Misokatsu Yeah that restrict/binge cycle is hellish and hard to get out of. Especially when you add weight issues into the equation. The only thing that helped me get out of it, was radical acceptance of my body the way it was - which in my case meant buying new pants that actually fit and promising myself to never step on the scale again - and really starting to pay attention to food, eating and my emotions around this. Iā€˜m back to my food journal and it does help.

Speaking of which I kept my food journal today and practiced mindful eating with good results. Eating mindfully makes the whole meal more enjoyable.

I also had an interesting situation this afternoon. I did not plan for it, but we ended up in a cake shop. I was hungry, I had not thought of taking any snack with me. The whole situation, the smells, everything triggered a nostalgia for eating cake, some ā€šI will never again have this pleasureā€™-thoughts and cravings. For the first time in my recovery my thought went to this place here. I even thought about posting. But first I thought: ā€žWhat would the nice and smart people at TS tell me to do?ā€œ Play the tape to its end, was the first one. This somehow increased the nostalgia. But then I thought: ODAAT. And I played the tape in my mind for today. How my day today would proceed, if I decided to eat that first piece of cake. And I didnā€˜t. Because I wanted to spend the rest of my day in peace and kindness and freedom. And I knew I would not get any of it if I ate a cake. Now I can go to bed tonight in peace and have a realistic hope of restful sleep.

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@acromouse thank you :blush: šŸ©µ well done for using your tools today :clap:t2:

35 days no takeaways
34 days no sugar.
32 days no crisps, no binge-eating.

šŸ©µ

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Day 1183 : No binge today. :smiling_face:

Look at you go, @CATMANCAM! Triple digits in all counters! Keep it up! :tada::muscle::smiling_face:

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109 sugar
7 UPF
2 overeating/binge

One week no ultra processed foods. Iā€™m very happy about that. I donā€™t really like them. They donā€™t taste like food and I almost always eat them with the desire to binge/overeat. I donā€™t even consider them to be food but addictive edible products.

Goals for today: keeping food journal, mindfulness practice while eating, practicing HALT through the day.

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I am on day 0 today because I binged in the evening yesterday.
In the morning I had a good breakfast, because I knew Iā€™m going to go cycling. I wanted to do between 55-60km on my bike and ended up doing 73km. I took a protein shake with me but I was very hungry when I returned home. Unfortunately I had to ignore it because I wanted to wash my bike first till the sunshine lasts. I managed to put food in the oven for myself and I had first food after a breakfast at about 3pm. Not ideal but at least it was nutritionaly good (I think). However the portion didnā€™t satisfy me for long, I usually find myself digesting food quickly and in almost constant hunger if I did something very active like the ride. I ate lots of fruit afterwards and had strong thoughts about chocolate. I decided I deserve it and didnā€™t feel much bad about having it after all the miles I ride. So I went to shop but I ended up buying also two hazelnut chocolate cheesecake kinda yoghurts besides the chocolate and then I ate it all at one go in front of the telly. Later I also had some wasabi pea and yoghurt with nuts. I slept like a baby though but had night mares :thinking:

Today is a new day. TV and not mindful eating are my biggest enemies. I didnā€™t want to admit to myself how bad it is for me to stop eating while watching something because that would mean I have to stop doing it, but itā€™s time to be honest with myself. I do must eat mindfully if I want to be able to get better. Saying that is quite pathetic right now because Iā€™m drinking my protein banana shake meantime writing this post.

I have enough of this every day fighting and over eating. I am totally lost in how much I should even eat? Itā€™s difficult because I do different activities and every day canā€™t be the same in my kalories intake as some days (like yesterday) Iā€™ll need much more! And then if it goes like yesterday I donā€™t have enough time in the day to eat them all. I know some people pre load themselves if they know theyā€™re going to be that active. I should do it, because last 30km on my bike I was super tired. But itā€™s hard for me not to take advantage of pre loading and end up binging instead. I would need some nutritionist lol.

Anyway, today is shop day, means my mum-in-law will bring shopping and she always buys treats. I feel confident not to have any of it today. Please God, give me the strength to eat well today and not to binge :pray:t2:

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This is how it is with me:

I decide I want to cut sugar intake, snacks, stop overeating.

I make a post here (not every time tho) and usually make it to day 1. I start counters on TS for snacks and overeating separately.

Next day I eat some unhealthy snacks. I must restart counter which I hate. I feel like a failure and usually I dont check in here anymore.

Another day I overeat big time. I reset this timer as well. Donā€™t post, feel like even a bigger failure.

Next day I delete counters totally cause there is no sense, I canā€™t do that. Again I snack a lot on daily basis and overeat every few days.

Some days (or weeks) later Iā€™m coming back here (or no extra sugar thread), reading all your posts. I feel very impressed and motivated (Jana I can relate a lot with your relationship with food) and I decide to start over.

Maybe this time gonna do it differently.

Here I am, day zero.

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Hard same here. I relapsed yesterday. I am supposed to be working on a few things with my therapist and I just havenā€™t been doing it. I need to try.

Itā€™s so easy to dismiss the little alcoholic voice in my head and so hard to dismiss the food addict.

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I rely on so many little hobbies to keep me occupied! Especially ones I can do with my hands in front of the TV - canā€™t knit and eat!

A couple more are jigsaw puzzles (1000 pc of course) and paint by number.

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Food journal checkin.

I kept my food journal today, it was mostly easy to do. I hope it becomes a habit with time. I usually log date and time, hunger scale before and after, emotional hunger scale before, type of eating and all kinds of thoughts and feelings. I also focused on mindful eating today.

I discovered that mindful eating is great, eating is far more fun and the food tastes so much better. Unless I am very stressed out, tired, hangry, emotionally upset, you name it. Basically when my emotional hunger scale ist very intense. Then I donā€˜t want to eat mindfully, because I donā€˜t want to experience and feel. In that instance I want to use food to numb my feelings, to feel better. Being mindful about eating then is very difficult. Nonetheless I tried.

So there I have it: The difference between eating in order to fuel my body, care for myself, enjoy food and eating, and eating in order to numb my feelings, make them go away. We all know which one is the addictive version.

I am very grateful I realised this today, because now I have a real way to differentiate between food as a sustenance and food as a drug.

I also had a semi-challenging situation in the afternoon. We were at the in-laws and there was lots of cake and sweet stuff there. But I used what I did yesterday: I decided I wanted a day of peace and freedom for this day and knew eating any of this would just make the rest of the day far more miserable for me then anything the day itself could bring. One day at a time and playing the tape to the end seem to be working for me right now. Iā€˜m hoping it will become a stronger habit with time.

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@Jana1988 I think it is a great thing you are analysing the situations around your eating habits. From my perspective your overeating day sounds very much like you were just very hungry for most of the day and exerting yourself physically a lot.
I know my body and mind would have gone the same route: ā€žFeed me now! Feed me with the most calorie dense stuff you can find! I have been yelling at you to feed me and you didnā€™t. Now I am taking things into override mode.ā€œ
And it would not care for any kind of willpower cause after sending me all those hunger signal all day long and not getting anything itā€˜s time to take out the serious behavioural overrides.
After all the body is designed to fuel itself well. Maybe this reminded you of some other kind of restrictive situations? Just thoughts here.

@Mischa84 You are here. You are sharing. You know this is the first step. Sharing. Well done. If the counter keeps you from sharing here, ditch it. But do come back and share.
This road is not an easy one. So many struggle with it. But I do believe we all can improve our situation and the first step is sharing with other likeminded people :people_hugging:

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@Mischa84 I was doing exactly the same with the same thinking and deleting the counter because whatā€™s the point of it right?

But so far from 13.2. I kept it. Yes, itā€™s annoying to reset it almost every evening lol.

Hereā€™s my graph

The beginning looks good because I probably forgot reset it or couldnā€™t bother, not sure.

But we need to keep trying thatā€™s important. Keep figuring out how we react to different ways of eating, not eating, restricting, etc.

I know my problems are mainly TV (boredome) and evenings. So I started having normal dinner which is rich on nutritions such as protein and carbs because it fills me in and I donā€™t have cravings as much then. Like now Iā€™m sitting on my sofa, watching a telly with my boyfriend and heā€™s eating and Iā€™m not bothered which is great!

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@Aleyadaisey thank you :blush:
@acromouse congrats again on your week without UPFs :tada:

36 days no takeaways
35 days no sugar.
33 days no crisps, no binge-eating.

No specific cravings bothering me, but I definitely have the urge to numb. Itā€™s Motherā€™s Day here in the UK today, and my mum passed when I was 8. I visited her grave with my brother this afternoon, itā€™s never easy. Then on top of that, I visited with family at ny dadā€™s, and that has always been a trigger to binge-eat when I get home, but not today, I refuse!

šŸ©µ

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Day 1184 : No binge today. :smiling_face:

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@Jana1988 @CATMANCAM You bothā€™ve got it right. Keep coming back and refusing to give up. You give me hope.

110 sugar
8 UPF
3 overeating/binge

Goals for today: keeping food journal, mindfulness practice while eating, practicing HALT through the day.

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