Day 1189 : No binge today. 
Welcome to the thread @ElviraBlue! Thank you for sharing your story, I hope you find this thread helpful/inspiring in a positive way.
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@Aleyadaisey thank you 
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@Misokatsu there really is something about Summer and ice cream, but not this year! Congrats on your week+ 
@acromouse congrats on your week too
@ElviraBlue welcome sorry you are struggling 
sending strength 🩵
41 days no takeaways
40 days no sugar.
38 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
Had my x-ray today, doctor will receive the results next week. Going to try to stay busy this weekend so the anxiety doesn’t lead to past behaviours. I won’t let it.
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115 sugar
13 UPF
0 overeating/binge
Overate yesterday twice. It might have been a trigger food thing, my period that came out of nowhere or me sabotaging myself. I’ll keep an eye on it.
Goals for today: keeping food journal, mindful eating.
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@Jana1988 Glad to heat that you found the courage to open up to your boyfriend! I think that is a brave and smart strategy 
I can really relate to you about feeling ashamed about overeating and purging, afraid of what others will think and a fear of being negatively evaluated. But it is so exhausting to constantly keep up a facade… To go against this fear of what others would think, you have done exactly the right thing by opening up to your partner, as well as sharing your story in this community. And I agree strongly to your thoughts about eating regularly and enough. Its an important key to keep energy levels stable and to prevent cravings (which naturally comes when restricting or under eating).
I get inspired by your journey! Seems like you’ve taken many important steps in the right direction. And finally recovered from bulimia. You will get free from binge eating as well! Keep up the good work 
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Hi @acromouse! I’m sending you strength today Leave yesterday behind and focus on your goals for today.
I can relate to you that it’s more difficult to stay away from binging when hormones are fluctuating due to tue cycle. A feeling of being more sensitive, “on the edge” and scatter minded usually makes me more prone to deviate from my normal routines. Maybe you can relate. Mindful eating sounds like a suitable strategy to re-connect to your true hunger cues. Wish you the best!
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@CATMANCAM Thank you! And I hope that your weekend will be filled with good vibes to counteract behaviors you wish to get rid of. What activities or tasks do you find most beneficial to keep yourself busy but still energized (and happy)? 🩵
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Girls I did what you adviced me - I didn’t eat those brownies yesterday and I threw them away 
So yesterday-me was smarter than today-me cause I just ate something ultra sweet (pecannnotenbrodje - in english pecan roll perhaps). My husband was in the shop, he called me, I impulsively told him to buy it. And impulsively I ate it. So now I have this mind set already - if I had one, why not eat more (he bought 3), why not binge on everything I can find at home… Make myself happy.
But thing is, it wouldn’t make me happy. Well, maybe for a few moments. Few moments before feeling guilty and disappointed. Why we, addicts, can do nothing in moderation…
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Great work on throwing out the brownies!
Now for the other temptation. Can your husband put it somewhere, where you won’t know where it is? Can you distract yourself from your addiction voice?
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This is part of the problem - I’m home alone now, with all that food. Well, me and Anthony (my little boy) who is sleeping with a fever. Rest went for a walk.
Probably this also makes me wanna binge cause I wanted to go too. I’ve found some nice place for a walk we never been before, we wanted to go there all together. Anthony suddenly got a fever (about 3h ago) so I stayed with him. I’m almost never bored cause here is always something to do but now I’m just sitting next to him, he’s sleeping on the sofa. Watching House MD. Perfect occasion for mindless stuffing.
I could do some housework but I want to do NOTHING cause if one kid is getting sick probably rest gonna get as well. Which means difficult days are coming… Battery saving mode 
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At least I can’t go to the kitchen
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@ElviraBlue Welcome to the thread! And thanks for your kind words.
Food journal checkin:
Right now I can not summon enough energy to care about overeating, food journals and all that. My period came on suddenly, I‘m tired and exhausted, my marriage is in a difficult place and this is just too much. So I‘ll cut myself some slack. I am very happy that I am not reaching for sugar or processed junk food to sooth myself. I can live with emotionally overeating on other stuff. This too will pass and I will find the strength for a new round. All that I am learning right now and have learned until now will not go to waste.
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Day 1190 : No binge today.
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@ElviraBlue thank you I like reading and meditating, which I do every day. I also like walking but I’ve been struggling to get out lately, I did it today though 
@acromouse keep those other counters going strong I know you’ll get back on track with the overeating/bingeing one too
42 days no takeaways
41 days no sugar.
39 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
Thankfully I haven’t struggled with any urges today. Partly because I received a text this morning advising me that my chest x-ray came back normal…this doesn’t explain why I had fluid on my lungs just a few weeks ago, and it means that my symptoms are yet unexplained, unless it’s all Asthma related, but regardless, it’s good news hopefully! 
I even managed to get myself out for a walk today not my usual lake walk, but the equivalent time and distance so not bad.
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@CATMANCAM I’m very glad your X-rays came back normal! 
And you are building up those numbers, taking a walk. Next time I’m in a tight spot, I’m going to think of how you’re working so hard.
116 sugar
14 UPF
0 PF
0 overeating/binge
I’m very happy about two weeks of no ultra processed foods. 
I learned a few things about my addiction and my triggers during these past days and that’s why I’m adding a new counter for processed foods. I’ll explain later in a longer post.
Goals for today: keeping food journal, mindful eating, learning to be in my body, surrendering to the present moment.
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This last week of recovery has been one of discovery for me. I kept my food journal through the week and focused on eating mindfully. It became very clear to me that I am using food in order to try to control my experiences, my emotions and my life in general. Bored? Don’t like that, eat. Sad? Don’t like that, eat. Tired? Don’t like that, eat. Want to work although I’m exhausted? Eat. Again and again. I’m using food as a fix-everything-type-of thing.
There is a part of me that wants to be in control, wants my body, my feelings all my experiences to be in a very specific way. It wants to get its way no matter what. It takes control the moment I wake up and it does not care what other parts of me need. As long as it gets what it wants, everything is game. Food is just a means of control.
This is addiction. And I want to get out of this. I want all parts of me to experience what there is. I don’t want to be a slave to a madness. This is insane. I want life.
The food journal, mindful eating and checking with myself on a regular basis through the day will be my tools. I’ll use prayer, yoga, sharing my journey and my discoveries as practices in order to connect to the present moment and actually be there, experience it.
I realised that my control freak of an addiction likes to use foods that feel intense. Sweets have been obvious to me from the beginning. That’s where I started. Then I saw how ultra processed food products can have the same effect. My second counter. Last week I experienced how otherwise processed foods can also have a very intense taste and thus be used as a mood altering substance. I want to see very clearly when I am tempted or am actually reaching for a food as a means to control a situation instead of nourishment. That is why I am adding a counter for processed food. I don’t think they are bad or something. I just want to be clearly aware what is happening without having to deal with sneaky excuses.
That is where I am now. On a path of discovering who I am and what life means. I am very happy to be able to share this with all of you here.
Thank you for all your support and let’s be on our way together 
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Food journal checkin for today.
Kept my food journal for all my meals, which after two days of overeating were not many. But I was consistent. Wrote down time, meal, physical and emotional hunger scales and thoughts and feelings. There were a few moments where I felt the urge to make my day ‚better‘ by stuffing food on it, but I went the other way.
Mindful eating was good. I used some behavioural changes to keep my attention, like putting down the cutlery while I was chewing, so I won‘t stuff food while I‘m not even done with the previous bite. Like I already experienced. When I eat for sustenance and pleasure and not out of addiction mindful eating makes me enjoy my meal a lot.
Overall a very good day.
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@acromouse thank you I’m pleased you are learning more about your addiction and have a plan moving forwards 🩵
43 days no takeaways
42 days no sugar.
40 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
Finally all in the 40s. I remember how difficult this was in the first 2 weeks and asking if it ever gets easier, well it has not getting complacent though, it’s just a relief not to be climbing the walls with cravings and urges. I wasnt even tempted by the ice cream van this weekend, so hopefully that wont be a problem now, though I expect it will become more tempting in the hotter weather.
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I should not be surprised as my theraphy few years ago included this kind of journaling and I felt exactly the same. But maybe I didn’t expect that I could be back like this. So the journal and mindfulness when eating are indeed very powerful tool and I’m grateful that I re-intrpduce them to my life today. Mainly thanks to you!
seriously again, because I’m tired of being slave of food. Having no control ain’t fun. I’m taking it back and I’m going to create life and a person who I want to be 
And great job on going out for a walk as well! 