Really fell into it over the weekend, had the first few days off since the breakup and less stress so was able to feel my feelings. and I got pretty low. was tempted to just eat and eat and eat and did for a bit, too. but I managed to cut that short.
and made regular food I normally eat when I don’t lift. a lot of chicken and a lot of soup. Soup to cry into.
stay strong everyone I’m prouf of you all here!
Omg I posted this on the wrong thread and it won’t let me repost cos it looks the same. Making it different. Lol.
Thank you for describing your journey snd what you found out about it and about yourself and your disorder eating. It helps to me too because I eat from the same reasons like you. If I feel in the way I dislike, I eat. It’s funny that we’re trying to change our inner with stuff from out… It’s perhaps because it’s comfortable and quick fix. Well…it’s not really fixing anything, is it…?
I think you’re on the right path and you sound decided and strong I certainly wish to you and to everyone here good luck beating the beast
I have now got 3 day when I didn’t binge
I was worried about the weekend, because I had two bike trips on each day which took almost the whole of each day and so I never get to eat properly until the evening.
But I managed not to take the energy spent as an excuse to binge and instead I filled up myself with proper nutritional food…
I am still eating sweets which I hope to cut one day. But I don’t feel ready just yet. Maybe soon…
Anyway, happy with my three days. They felt efortless
My marriage is in great trouble. I have no idea if it will survive. I have been with my husband for 28 years now. That’s a long time. And now I’m hurting and grieving. However this will go, it has to change, it is changing. And this is hard right now. But after my morning routine I am feeling a bit better now.
Thanks for asking
Food journal checkin.
I kept my food journal for all my meals and managed to stay mindful. Putting away cutlery and taking time to chew gave my enough space to actually experience my feelings around food, the taste, how I liked it, when I stopped feeling hungry, when I started feeling satisfied.
Shortly before lunch I felt very stressed and could not feel if I was hungry. I took 5min time off to get a better connection with myself. That helped tremendously. I will try to use this as a tool in the future.
I also realised that I don‘t need that much food to be really satisfied if I take the time while eating. This way I don‘t feel so stuffed and uncomfortable after a meal.
Overall a good day.
Hi @acromouse
Oh no… I remember that you mentioned here few times about your marriage… I’m sorry that you have difficult time. It must be hard. It would always be hard, but especially after so many years together.
I hope things will get sorted out quickly for you, so you can relax your mind and get rid of the stress and anxiety which the current situation brings you.
I wish I could help or give you some piece of advice.
@Jana1988 Thank you dear. Reading your caring words already makes me feel better. Being able to share here, feeling safe and cared for. Life always brings something to your doorstep, but I’m not alone and I trust it will be ok, I will be ok.
118 sugar
16 UPF
2 PF
2 overeating/binge
Goals for today: keeping food journal, mindful eating, taking breaks to check in with me, learning to be in my body, surrendering to the present moment.
@Aleyadaisey thank you 🩵 @Faugxh I’m proud of you too 🩵 @acromouse thank you and you’re back on track now with your other counters 🩵
44 days no takeaways
43 days no sugar.
41 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
Checking-in with yesterday’s numbers…
I have been overdoing it with my porridge. I hadn’t realised until checking the nutritional info yesterday, but the porridge I’ve got, despite being gluten free, high protein, and low sugar, is actually very high calories due to having 16% nuts. I have gained 2.8lbs in a week, that’s what prompted me to check the back of the packet. I have been eating it for every meal since the 1st of March.
Last night I was craving for something different to eat. My mind came up with the idea that I could have a shop-bought pizza, without having to reset any of my counters. I liked the idea but I’m also very aware that it would be risky going into the shop where I used to buy my binge foods from, and walking past them all (which is unavoidable), there would also be a risk that it would just completely escalate into wanting more and more high calorie foods. I’m not safe with real food. I bought the porridge to try to mimic the porridge I was having from my diet company, because they closed down, so it’s not as safe for me as theirs was, evidently.
Anyway, I have cancelled my subscription so I won’t be having anymore once I run out, then I’ve got a load of diet shakes still leftover from the company that closed down, so I’ll use those up and then try to find another company to start using.
@CATMANCAM Food products are tricky. I sometimes spend a long time studying the ingredients in a shop and in the end not buying it. So I totally get the stress of a product being either discontinued or changed.
Food journal checkin.
Kept my food journal for all meals. Ate mindfully, except for dinner which involved an intense discussion with my husband. I managed to feel a satiety cue somewhere and stopped eating. That is a win. But I’d like for now to have less stress around eating.
Overall a good day. Keeping the journal is really a great tool.
Hey Cam, just wondering what keeps you from making your own porridge? It could have nuts and whatever else you wanted added in the quantities you wanted (or just order one bag of nuts per 1kg oats or whatever and mix straight away to avoid having nuts lying around?). And you’d avoid additives. Also maybe it’s nice to get a bit involved w prepping food? Maybe it’s like forming a relationship, in a way? Just a thought, hope it’s not intrusive. :-*
@acromouse it is very stressful, I’ve been using the same one since 2018. I just need to keep looking for something similarI guess. @Faugxh I thought that’s what I was doing, didnt even notice the fruit and nuts part, just put in the search bar ‘gluten free keto instant oats’, these are the ingredients…
45 days no takeaways
44 days no sugar.
42 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
Had big cravings for pizza and crisps. So that teaches me not to romanticise about pizza, not sure where the crisps craving came from but it’s still early days.
@CATMANCAM I have no idea how the food environment you’re living in looks so this is just an idea. Can you get just ‘oats’? No other ingredients? Like these for example?
119 sugar
17 UPF
3 PF
3 overeating/binge
Goals for today: keeping food journal, mindful eating, taking breaks to check in with me, learning to be in my body, surrendering to the present moment.
I know after a few days of being very vigilant about my behaviour I start getting complacent and that’s where the sneaky addictive voice has a chance to wiggle itself in. Today I’m going to stay close to the earth.
Food journal checkin.
I kept my food journal for all meals and managed to eat mindfully most of the time. The first half of the day it was difficult to really hear my hunger and satiety signals as I was recovering from a histamine reaction from yesterday evening. It basically felt like a hangover, but I still was hungry somewhere. In the end I split my meals into smaller ones and ate only as much as necessary when hungry.
Overall a good day. I’m starting to enjoy the mindful eating far more and the food journal does not feel like an awful chore anymore but like an interesting tool.
@CATMANCAM If you’re looking to do keto “oatmeal” I can give you a recipe here. It’s not exactly instant, but it does have from what I can tell, a very close texture to real oats :
Ingredients:
1 cup [flaked coconut] unsweetened
1 cup [sliced almonds]
⅓ cup [Swerve Brown]*
¼ cup [collagen peptides]
1 teaspoon [baking powder]
½ teaspoon [ground cinnamon]
½ teaspoon salt
½ cup unsalted butter melted
½ cup heavy whipping cream
1 large egg
1 teaspoon [maple extract] or vanilla
Instructions:
1: Preheat oven to 350F. Grease a 1 quart glass or ceramic baking dish.
2: In a food processor, grind the coconut and almonds until they resemble flakes of oatmeal. Transfer to a large bowl.
3: Whisk in the sweetener, collagen, baking powder, cinnamon, and salt. Add the butter, cream, egg, and maple extract and stir until well combined.
4: Spread the mixture in the prepared baking pan and bake 20 to 25 minutes, until golden brown and the center is mostly set. It should jiggle just slightly when shaken.
*Optional for sweetness, if you want your “oatmeal” unsweetened, leave out.
Goals for today: keeping food journal, mindful eating, taking breaks to check in with me, learning to be in my body, surrendering to the present moment.
Food journal checkin.
Kept my food journal today. It‘s slowly becoming a routine and I don‘t have to think of it consciously. When I‘m preparing a meal some part of my brain knows it has to do this one thing before eating. I also can hear my hunger and satiety signals much better then before which means I don‘t have to concentrate so hard on listening.
There were some periods in my day today when some part of my brain wanted to reach for food and another one thought: „I am not hungry. This is something else. Why do you keep suggesting I eat?“ It felt a bit like one of those silly split personality stories. But it was really useful to see how ‚eating‘ as a problem solving strategy is still ingrained in my mind, but also how new patterns are evolving. Doing the recovery work works.
I certainly wish to you and to everyone here good luck 
beating the beast 
I’m sorry that you have difficult time. It must be hard. It would always be hard, but especially after so many years together.
🩵