Day 6 of abstinence from sugar and flour products.
Right now I’m nearly a week binge free and I’ve been here before. I feel completely in control, the compulsion to overeat is nearly nonexistent, and part of me genuinely believes that I’m fine now. Like if i just carry on like this, soon I can leave my problem with overeating in the past. But i know that I’ll hit a point in my monthly cycle where I’ll want to eat something sweet, i won’t be able to stop thinking about it, and i won’t know what to do in the moment. That feeling will go on for days, even if I resist it. I genuinely don’t know what I’m going to do the next time that happens. I’m losing weight but when the cravings come back, I’m afraid I won’t be able to help putting the weight back on. Every time I lose a little weight I get absolutely obsessed with the number on the scales, and I start imagining how perfect my life is going to be once all the weight is off. It’s like, in my head, once the weight is gone, the food addiction will be gone too. I’m imagining that I can just shed the whole problem in a matter of months like a cocoon and step into this new perfect life that’s always eluded me. I know that’s not how any of this works, but I’ve had this vision of my thin, beautiful, perfect future self in my subconscious for years now and it’s hard to shake. It’s like I’ve been only willing to work the program for as long as it takes to get the weight off, and then hoping I won’t need it anymore.
Welcome to the thread, @s00z3! Congratulations on 6 days without sugar and flour! Thank you for sharing your experience, and I hope you find this thread helpful/inspiring in a positive way. I’m sure some people here can certainly relate to your experience.
47 days no takeaways
46 days no sugar.
44 days no crisps, no binge-eating
Thanks for the suggestions everyone, but for now I have decided to eliminate porridge once I’ve finished what I have left of this, it’s in the “real food” category as far as my binge-eating appetite is concerned, and it doesn’t feel comfortable wanting to eat more and more of it. I estimate I will run out on Sunday evening at the latest, so I will be be on my diet products from Monday and honestly, it will be a relief.
@s00z3 Welcome Suz. Nice to meet you and congrats on 6 days of freedom . Sugar is always somewhere around us in our societies. And there always will be times and occasions when it will tempt us. Accepting one’s problem and addiction is a long process. What tools are you using in your recovery? @CATMANCAM Sounds like you tried a new option, it did not suit you, now you are going back to what you know works. Sounds like a good approach to me. @Jana1988@Mischa84 How are you friends?
121 sugar
19 UPF
5 PF
5 overeating/binge
Today marks my four months freedom from sugar. This feels sooooo good I accept that sugar is a drug for me and that I am truly powerless over it. I just have to keep away from it for today, one day at a time.
Goals for today: keeping food journal, mindful eating, taking breaks to check in with me, learning to be in my body, surrendering to the present moment.
Hello @acromouse
Thank you for asking! I’m well. I have 10 hours without binging now It just seems that I can’t get out of the cycle. It starts to overwhelm me again, because food and what to or not to eat takes up my day and takes any other thoughts away…
But there was something I really liked in one of your past posts and that was that doing the recovery work works.
It is like self-sabotaging myself, because I know that you’re right but I won’t force myself to do the work. Like yesterday I sat down with food and had the intention to eat it slowly and pay attention to what I eat, but ended up eating quickly with lots of thoughts about what everyhting I still need to do at work. It was far away from mindful eating. Other days, I pick up my phone, switch on the telly…all different sort of things. Like if I am unable to just eat. My thoughts are all over the place just not with the food. And so I think that it is my biggest issue which I just must to work on!
I am about to have a breakfast so I have a great opportunity to start right now…
I am super pleased and I’m in admiration of your many days without sugar! That is awesome and I wish I would be strong enough to get on this path again too. I think my longest stretch was 2 months and I felt the best in my own body, because most of my health issues (like acid reflux, bloating or IBS) dissapeared…
I know it’s only matter of choice I really should start no sugar now because I’ll be away from the office where everyone knows me like a doughnut or a cake lover and now my colleagues are buying this stuff when I am in!!! They mean it nice and I’m flattered that they love me this much but it also doesn’t help me when I feel almost obliged to then have at least one doughnut…
Hello @s00z3 !
Glad to see you here!
Thanks so much for sharing your story because I can relate so so much! I am aware that I subconsciously believe that the way how you look determines your chances for success and brings you admiration and love from others.
For long time, back in alcoholism, I was using my body and sex to make guys I liked to fell in love with me. It worked for me and it made me believe that everything is about physical appearance. So obviously, I’m scared to get big. I also often judge people based on their appearance. I hate it about myself and I disagree with it, but my thoughts go right there. I am trying to change this way of thinking because I am a nice person and I wish not to be judgemental at all! It makes my life harder and helps to nothing. I am looking for a way when I could replace my judgements with kindness and understanding. But it’s something what require patiently observing my thoughts and consciously replacing them with different thoughts to get in the new way of thinking. It doesn’t happen over night I guess…
I have a great body. I even have visible ABS if I eat “clean” couple of days and exercise. And yet, I’m here with issues. So I can confirm to you that you’ll perhaps never be 100% happy with your appearance. Maybe a year back, I’d love to have six pack. Now I have it and it didn’t bring me satisfaction. It gets even worse because now I’m conscious about loosing it Also, no one treats me any differently since I’m fitter…
Perhaps the best is to desire changing your eating habbits from a different reason than aesthetics. But it’s easier said than done.
I can’t give you much advice because I’m currently struggling with binge eating myself. I know all the theory what to do but I simply don’t follow it and I have no idea why. Laziness? Who knows.
But I always try. And today is a new day. So I will try again today and I’ll hope that 22.3. will mark a beginning of successful recovery
@Jana1988 The way you’re describing your ‘self sabotage’ situation reminds me a bit of me starting with the whole food journal business. I have experienced long times of food restriction due to severe intestinal issues. My psyche is very weary when it times to the idea of being deprived of food or the joys of eating. So when I started with the food journal my mind just refused to do it. I would ‘forget’ it, misplace pens, have too much going on, etc.
I decided to start very small. So my first extremely small step was to make a pact with myself, that I would everytime I was about to eat mark on a piece of paper if I was hungry or not. That’s it. I also promised myself, I would try this out for a week, and would never base my decision if I wanted to eat or what I ate on this. So if I decided to have a cheese sandwich and marked down a ‘no’ I would still eat it.
I made the signs very simple. Just one circle for yes, and a slash for no. That’s it. This way I conviced myself over time that noting something down on a piece of paper does not lead to restriction or deprivation. From there I moved on to a next step.
Maybe there is some extremely simple and inocous thing you could start with that will not feel threatening?
Food journal checkin.
Kept the food journal today and was mindful most of the time. I can literaly observe my mind moving mentally from wanting to reach for food for all kinds of reasons to recognizing discomfort and not coming up with the idea to fix this with food. More and more my mind thinks that eating cause whatever does not make sense. Eating will not fix the problem of tiredness. My logical mind has known this for a very long time, but it looks like my emotional and practical mind is catching on.
I also realised this evening that sometimes I just cannot discern wheather I am hungry or not. Usually because there is so much else going on emotionally and I can’t hear the signals properly. Today I decided to eat anyways cause it was time for dinner, I’m expecting company and I don’t want to stress eat later and go to bed stuffed. But I could also have decided not to eat. I have no idea.
I’m on the overeating carousel and I can’t get off.
Few days or eating lots and lots of sweets. I think I’m getting my period so I hope I will be able to stop soon cause now I feel like I can’t. Its my 1st period after IUD insertion and some other unplanned things, so I expect it will be pretty heavy (that’s what Dr and a lot of other women said).
I’m doing this stupid express eating. Like I know that I shouldn’t eat so much, so I eat super fast before the smarter part of me decide to stop. That mindless eating Mischa in me is very strong now.
Your no-sugar streak is super fckn impressive! I’m impressed about the way you are handling all this stuff.
@Jana1988 I admire your honesty! Sometimes it’s unreal how much I can relate.
@acromouse right now I’m going to meetings a few times a week, I’ve started journaling on the app and I’m using this forum to check in
Today was a binge free day, grateful for that. I’ve heard people in meetings say they’re measuring their food or committing their food the night before. I’m not measuring anything or counting calories, because that feels too much like restricting/obsessing when I do it. Right now, I’m just plating up meals that are reasonably sized and balanced nutritionally, obviously cutting out anything with sugar/flour. I’m trying to listen to my own hunger cues and eat until I’m full but not TOO full, which has gotten easier. I still wonder if I’m eating too much sometimes. My reasoning is, I’d rather leave a little too full than a little too hungry. Because then I’ll be obsessing about eating again really soon and I’m less likely to make it to the next meal. I’ve been sticking to just 3 meals a day for the last 6 days, which is HUGE, and I feel a lot better for it, as I used to snack late at night. I still would like to know what my actual food limit should be for a meal, and whether I’m going beyond it. Sometimes it’s genuinely hard for me to know if I’m overeating or not, because overeating has been so normal for me for so long.
I’m so grateful for the support here thank tou all
@s00z3 My experience is it takes time to get better at registering your hunger and satiety signals. So, just give yourself time. Sounds like you’re on a good path @Mischa84 Hormone levels changing always send me for a binge. Especially with junk food and sweets. I hope easier times will come soon to you
122 sugar
20 UPF
6 PF
6 overeating/binge
20 days no UltraProcessedFoods. In the end they are like sugar. I don’t even like them. They taste like crap but the addict part of me had no idea how to deal with them. Better without.
Goals for today: keeping food journal, mindful eating, taking breaks to check in with me, learning to be in my body, surrendering to the present moment.
Food journal checkin.
I kept my food journal today. I am starting to get complacent about mindful eating though. I did not take the time to write down my feelings and thoughts after breakfast, though I at least remember enjoying it a lot. I was stressed at lunch and dinner time and did not take the time to slow down and be mindful about it. I did stop on both occasions when I felt satisfied and did not overeat. But this is the slippery slope here. I am not strong and grounded enough with my tools to will nilly abandon them whenever something other comes up. I want to have more structure tomorrow. I will try to make a better plan for tomorrow so as to have enough time to practice my tools.
To be completely honest, I overate at lunch. I didn’t balance my meal well and I got bad heartburn after. I’m eating abstinent meals, but I’m still eating in this very urgent way. It’s difficult for me to put the silverware down between bites.
I’m realising hunger makes me feel anxious. I feel anxious until I’ve gotten about half the meal into me. It’s like I’m worried the food is going to be taken away?? Idk
Tonight I was out late at a performance and I thought about the dinner leftovers I still had and got a craving to finish them once I got home. Before OA, I would have 100% finished those, and more, standing up in the kitchen. There would have been no stopping me. As soon as I thought about them, that would have been it. But tonight, I realised that I wasn’t actually hungry, I was able to identify the feeling as boredom/indigestion.
It’s insane that I used food as a way to soothe the pain of indigestion, and be unable to distinguish it from hunger. Just the fact that I can tell the difference now, and hold myself back from giving in to cravings is unbelievable. I tried to fix my binge eating with willpower and I never got past 4 days without a massive binge, and that was in a good week.
I’m so hopeful, but I’m also scared of losing this path I’m on right now. Every time I’ve started losing weight and eating well, this tension builds up in me. I dont even notice it building, but it’s like this dam breaks, and I binge, which leads to more and more binges, until I’m doing it every day. Whenever I lose progress I start feeling like nothing matters so I just eat whatever.
This is where the higher power has to come in I suppose
@s00z3
“It’s insane that I used food as a way to soothe the pain of indigestion, and be unable to distinguish it from hunger.”
I can certainly relate to that as well. I have chronic acid reflux and nausea, between being bulimic, genetics and being on various medications. I take mylanta or antacids to relieve the pain quite often.
@s00z3 I can relate to so many things you’ve written about in your post. Thanks for sharing. It’s always helpful to see oneself reflected in another.
123 sugar
21 UPF
7 PF
7 overeating/binge
One week without overeating I know the real difficulties are just starting. I feel good in my body, but my mind is not healed yet. And the painful memories how bad I’ll feel if I overeat are starting to fade. This is relapse danger zone. I’m going to schedule my day today in a way that will promote relying on my recovery tools instead on old patterns.
Goals for today: setting up a good schedule for the day, setting a timer for HALT and prayer breaks, keeping food journal, mindful eating, taking breaks to check in with me, learning to be in my body, surrendering to the present moment.
Food journal checkin.
Kept my food journal today and practiced mindful eating most of the time. Also managed to structure my day in a way so that I could connect with my deeper power frequently throughout the day. I even managed to stay mindful of eating during supper while listening to my daughter. This is the first time I was able to do that
. Sugar is always somewhere around us in our societies. And there always will be times and occasions when it will tempt us. Accepting one’s problem and addiction is a long process. What tools are you using in your recovery?
It just seems that I can’t get out of the cycle. It starts to overwhelm me again, because food and what to or not to eat takes up my day and takes any other thoughts away…
I really should start no sugar now because I’ll be away from the office where everyone knows me like a doughnut or a cake lover and now my colleagues are buying this stuff when I am in!!! They mean it nice and I’m flattered that they love me this much but it also doesn’t help me when I feel almost obliged to then have at least one doughnut… 
no overeating