Binge eating recovery daily check in thread (Part 2)

@s00z3 Good to see you back Suz :hugs: This journey takes its time. It takes time to identify your triggers, to find a lifestyle that suits you, to work out strategies how to navigate difficult situations. You’re doing it :+1:t2: PMS with all the hormones going on a rollercoaster ride is especially hard. You’ll get through this!

133 sugar
31 UPF
4 gluten
4 dairy
4 overeating/binge

Had another histamine reaction last night. Histamine intolerance and perimenopause don’t mix well. I’m starting to dread the next few days and nights. If this histamine shit keeps repeating, it’s going to be exhausting. I really don’t need to have a panic episode every night. Especially with travelling.
But worrying in advance won’t help. I’ll try to set up a low histamine diet for today and hope for better sleep. Other then that like with everything: ODAAT

Goals for today: Keeping my food journal, mindful eating, listening to my body’s signals, taking brakes through the day for self checkin.

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Hey @CATMANCAM
Family is not always understanding, unfortunately… It’s not that they don’t care about us, but rather that they’re not educated enough to understand what a big issue this can be for us. In many people mind it’s just food and don’t eat it if you don’t want it. They don’t get that it’s not a straight forward thing like this (I only with it was!).
It would certainly be easier with family support. Maybe try and talk to them to depth about how you feel and what would help you from their side. They still may not understand but maybe they’ll accept your boundaries.
But it’s hard, I know. My dad still doesn’t appreciate that I had a drinking problem. Last time we went for coffee they also happened to offer alcohol there and he asked me if I’d like vodka. Like wtf, dad, honestly? I’m strong enough in my sobriety by now so it doesn’t trigger me a bit but it always makes me angry that someone like my own father says such a thing when I made clear to him multiple times that I had problems with alcohol and so I am not drinking anymore. My mum at the other side is very supportive and understanding. My grandad was an alcoholic who beat my grandma so my mum has bad experience with alcoholism like this and so understands better.
Nobody really gets my eating disorder. I don’t live with my family, but with my partner and his mum (until we find our own place) and his mum is also absolutely useless in supporting me. She just doesn’t get it at all. So I must remain strong (which doesn’t work much so far). I know what a struggle it is.

I cross fingers for you that you’ll feel only better again :blush::four_leaf_clover:

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I’m still at Hungary on holiday. I have super irregular eating here and so it’s hard to even know if the way I’m eating is okay or not :rofl: But I think that I don’t mind as much because I hope that this broke the cycle I was in before holiday when I was unable to stop over-eating on sweets… I still eat sugar food here but I don’t over-eat or binge on it. Yesterday I even refused late(ish) dinner because I was still full from lunch.
I don’t feel good at my body for the whole time here. I feel like the irregular eating makes me feel “fat” and it’s unpleasant but I’m just accepting it and planning to get back on with my active life bavk home and feel better again.
I’m walking here a lot (18km Yesterday for example) so it’s not like I went from active to passive. It’s just a weird unsettled feeling because I don’t have an order in things I do here as I would have it at home. I’m finding out that I totally love holiday, travelling and exploring but I also miss my ordinary daily life and I couldn’t live like this every day. It’s good because that makes me to look forward to my ordinary day to day which not many people have. Means I have a good life which I like. I feel blessed :blush::heart:

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Food journal checkin.
Kept my food journal today mostly. Forgot dinner cause of all the travel prep for tomorrow. Hunger and satiety signals are good enough. Hormones make it slightly difficult to register, but my brain is getting better at receiving and prioritising. Had some cravings after dinner but learned my lesson and definitively don‘t need another sleepless night with panic attacks.

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@acromouse thank you :blush: 🩵 I think I am very sensitive to it all too, I feel so much better when it’s not in my system. I’m sorry about the panic attacks :people_hugging:
@s00z3 thank you :blush: I’m so glad the OA meetings work for you 🩵
@Faugxh thank you :blush: I’m sorry your family don’t take no for an answer either :people_hugging:🩵
@Jana1988 thank you :blush: I really feel for your living environment :people_hugging:🩵

57 days no crisps.
1 day no takeaways, no binge-eating.
0 days no sugar.

Sugar would have been 1 day as well, but I stil had ice cream from my grocery delivery that came yesterday, so I ate it because I didn’t want to have it around.

I can’t lie, my mind is a battlefield because it feels like I should let myself have crisps because I might as well reset that counter with all the rest. I should know better than that because crisps are what usually keep my relapses dragging on and on. It’s not worth the risk, however much I want them right now.

Thanks again for all the support. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

🩵

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Day 3 compulsive overeating
Day 19 sugar/flour

So happy to make it to 19 days.

I’ve had a lot of dizziness recently, and I’m worried it’s because of my drastic eating changes. All my changes have been for the better, I’m not starving myself, im eating fewer empty calorie foods…but I’m eating a lot less…and I have this dizzy/weak feeling, like you get when you’re not eating enough. Idk. It could also be my new ADHD meds.

No urges to binge today, which I’m grateful for. Normally at this time in the month, i would be reaching for the chocolate/comfort foods almost every day, and spiralling into guilt and body shame, and from there into tv and escapism to get myself far away from my body mentally.

I still would love to lose more weight, and I have to keep trying not to focus on that. I have this image in my head of how perfect life will be when i finally lose all the weight, and all that does is deny me satisfaction with my life as it is now.

One feeling that’s coming up a lot is… boredom. I used food as a way to add stimulation and interest to my day. Now I don’t. Life feels a little more flat and empty. It’s like, nothing is as interesting as food? There’s not a lot of activities that have the same shimmer around them. I love to crochet and embroider, but that’s just never going to give me the same buzz as a sleeve of oreos. I’m grateful for my abstinence, but I hope I can find other stuff to enjoy as much as I used to enjoy food.

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Day 1208 : No binge today. :smiling_face:

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134 sugar
32 UPF
5 gluten
5 dairy
5 overeating/binge

I’ll be on a trip for the next three days. Only short checkins then.

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Well said and a good reminder. I also eat out of boredom, in fact I find boredom to be worse than negative emotions. Mindfulness is so hard for me.

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Day 3 no binge eating. Easter was a hot mess, but at least it was expected, and I got right back on track on Monday. I’m working on planning my meals at least the morning of if not the day before. Also trying to do 5 minutes of mindful eating at the beginning of each meal (per my therapist suggestion) and it’s HARD. I am so uncomfortable! But it helps me to check in with my hunger levels and to slow down.

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2 days no takeaways.
1 day no sugar.
0 days no crisps, no binge-eating.

I tried, I even made it until both of the local shops had closed. However, ever the addict minded me, I realised I could order crisps from one of the grocery stores on the delivery app. I did try to cancel the order the same second as I placed it, but it wouldn’t let me. So between 11pm last night, and 1:15pm this afternoon, I binged 19 bags of crisps. I’m determined to get back on track now. I’ve weighed myself and I’ve gained 8.2lbs this relapse. Now I need to get it back off and much more too.

🩵

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I just reseted my watch because we went for buffet dinner and I over ate so much… I knew I would. It feels super not nice. Wish we rather went for a normal meal.

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Day 1209 : No binge today. :smiling_face:

I’m glad your therapist’s advice is starting to help you get back on track, @Passerina_cyanea. You got this, keep eating mindfully. :muscle:

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135 sugar
33 UPF
6 gluten
— dairy
6 overeating/binge

With the food choices available I’m pausing my dairy counter for the vacation.

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3 days no takeaways.
2 days no sugar.
1 day no crisps, no binge-eating.

I’ve worked out today that it will be the 3rd of June when my counters are all in the 60s. That will be my next PB as I didn’t quite make it before relapsing. ODAAT I know, but it also helps me to have something to aim for.

I have been for my walk today for the first time in about 6 weeks, so I’m pleased about that.

🩵

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Congrats on turning the tide and amazing work on going for that walk :star_struck:

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Day 1210 : No binge today. :smiling_face:

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136 sugar
0 UPF
7 gluten
— dairy
7 overeating/binge

Yesterday there were gluten free bread rolls offered at breakfast. I wanted to try them out but didn’t consider that they were obviously in the ultra processed food category. I’m resetting my counter then I’m order to stay consistent here. Today I’ll keep to rice waffles.

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Day 5 today. My partner is so supportive, last night I really wanted to get nachos during bar trivia and he talked me off the ledge and promised to give me a few ranch Takis when we went home.

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Day 1211 : No binge today. :smiling_face:

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