Day 1215 : No binge today. 
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141 sugar
5 UPF
12 gluten
4 dairy
0 overeating/binge
So. Yesterday I wrote about mindful and slow eating. And then dinner came. I got totally distracted. My satiety cues registered somewhere in the background. But when I finally payed attention to them I had already totally overeaten. Classic fog eating. My stomach still hurts.
But I’ve learned a good lesson. I still need to pay far more attention to my signals. Apparently if I don’t, I default to mindless fog eating. Retraining such ingrained behaviour takes time. Moving on.
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You slipped but you’re doing exceptionally well! 
Thanks for sharing so much here. It helps 
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Thank you! How are you now that you are back home?
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I am fine, but still didn’t manage not over eat in the evening. Today I’m paying high price for binging on sweets before sleep yesterday. My stomach is in horrible state, because I ate biscuits and ice-cream which I know give me IBS and I woke up with diarrhoea and had to cycle to work with pain in my tummy. It’s slowly settling down and I’m well careful what I eat now 
I had a strange dream though, reminding me about how much I changed from controlling and toxic person in relationship to a totally different woman since I don’t drink and that made me think that if I could go through such huge change of the whole personality, I should be able to handle my ED too…
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I‘m so sorry your digestion is bringing you suffering right now 
But honestly, I think you have the right perspective. You managed to overcome a huge difficulty in your life - alcohol. I‘m sure on this journey you have learned so much about yourself and your life, learned new coping strategies, changed personally. Maybe the steps you took to overcome one addiction could help you with you current problem?
However things may develop: I‘m glad you‘re here 
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Food journal checkin. I kept my food journal and today ate very mindfully. I savoured my food, every bit. This was very nice. And it helped me to register my signals early on.
I had some very intense emotions this afternoon caused by hormonal changes. I felt so much like acting out to escape. And food did cross my mind several times. Luckily I managed to vent here on TS, do some Yoga, meditate. Today I can hit the pillow with a nice day of abstinence behind me.
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Day 1216 : No binge today.
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142 sugar
6 UPF
13 gluten
5 dairy
1 overeating/binge
Today I will honour my satiety and hunger signals.
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@Aleyadaisey @acromouse thank you both 
🩵
2 days no crisps.
0 days no takeaways, no sugar. no binge-eating.
Well, the madness continued…
Tuesday night I went back out (after already bingeing crisps) to get sweets. 2 boxes, and ate them all.
Wednesday night I had a huge takeaway, including desserts, and ate everything in one go.
Then yesterday lunchtime I had another big takeaway with desserts.
The glucose has finally just tested clear from my urine. 
That really is it now though. I have hated how out of control I’ve been feeling, the obsessing and compulsions around food, and being entirely out of my routines and out of focus with reality. I’ve also gained 11lbs. I know I’ve said it in my last few posts but I feel quite sure that it’s out of my system now, and that I’m done with the madness.
🩵
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Sending you strenght and lots of love for today. May you be able to break this cycle today 
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Thank you, in 5hrs I will have 1 day, determined!
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Thinking about you @CATMANCAM it’s so difficult to keep going sometimes 
i see how hard you’re trying right now, don’t give up 
Almost 4 weeks abstinent from sugar/flour
Have been weighing myself every day. Delighted with the weight loss that’s happening but feel like I’m getting hung up on it. In the past I’ve always equated my worth and goodness with how i look. So i feel good about myself for being thinner, as if that’s made me a better person🧚♀️
I was reminded by someone in my local OA group that giving up the foods is only a small part of recovery. I still have a food addict’s brain, and if all I do is give up the foods, lose weight, etc. it’s not going to be enough to keep me well long term. There’s more work to do, apparently, which sucks. Right now i genuinely belive that I’ve solved this problem for good. And i can just, go back to my life as it was, as long as i avoid sugar/flour. That’s probably not true.
I made my first outreach call yesterday which was skin-crawlingly uncomfortable, but i did it and it went ok.
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@s00z3 thank you 🩵 congrats on your 4 weeks 
3 days no crisps.
1 day no takeaways, no sugar, no binge-eating.
I have had the worst withdrawal migraine all day. I know for me this can last upto 4 days so I just need to be patient. I am craving crisps badly, but at the same time, I really don’t want them.
🩵
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You people are real inspiration for me. Even when you relapse, I see how hard you try and how you get back on tracks.
I’m again at a point I’m disgusted by the way I eat. Every day worse. Today for example I bought 4 chocolate&pudding croissants for my boys and me. As a snack while we were on playground. I ate them all secretly when they were playing… Was that all? Hell no. At home I snacked more. And it’s like this for days, maybe 2 weeks. Ialso work out pretty much which make me think - we’ll, I deserve it, I’m gonna burn it. Bullshit. When I eat those things almost immediately I regret. Like Aga said - usually they are not even that tasty.
Ehhh, here I am. Again. 
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@CATMANCAM Sorry to hear about your migraine. I definitely know what you’re talking about. They can last for about a week for me. Drink a lot, rest, give your body time to detox. Be nice to yourself. You’re fighting a hard battle.
@s00z3 Congrats on four weeks of abstinence! 
And yeah. I believe recovery is a lifetime journey: one day at a time.
@Mischa84 We all know how addiction works. So don’t be hard on yourself. But I’d you won’ want to change something you’ll need a plan 
Food journal checking. Kept my food journal. Forgot one snack. But managed to be mindful and register my signals. I find it more difficult to register them in the evening and especially when I’m distracted by conversation. It’s easy then to just fog out and shuffle the food mindlessly.
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Thanks Aga. Yeah, I definitely need a plan. For sure I have to stay away from snacks cause it always leads to overeat. Meals planning. Mindful eating. Intermittent fasting again maybe. Idk what else…
Anyway, here I am:
Overeating: 0
Snacks: 0
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Day 1217 : No binge today.
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143 sugar
7 UPF
14 gluten
6 dairy
2 overeating/binge
Today I will honour my satiety and hunger signals.
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Hey @Mischa84
I hear you! I know how it feels. I do secret eating too… At a place I live now is my partner and his mum and his mum does shopping. She used to do it for us all but then I started doing my own because I thought that if I buy only food I want to eat, it would stop me from eating the crap she buys (meaning sweets, crisps, etc.). Instead, I eat it too and she then thinks that it was my partner who ate it all… I do chip in money towards their shopping though but that’s not what it’s supposed to be…
I guess it feels a bit worse if you do it to your own children and eat their snacks, but remember that we’re ill and it does get out of control for us when cravings hit. I’m not trying to make an excuse, because it’s unacceptable in my opinion, and so we need to start taking steps to get better. If you get to troubles because you were drunk, you’ll also have to take consequences. Nobody will let you off just because you’re an alcoholic and hence you’re ill. (I know - a bit harsh comparison…
).
If nothing we’ve done so far worked, we need to find another way. We can’t expect different results if we repeat the same steps.
What we also have in common is exercise and feeling like “I deserve it.”
I just realise how much hard work I do to make my body look good and to feel good and then I eat 
because I think that I deserve it. Society uses sugar and treats as a reward. But is it really? Maybe it used to be back then when people didn’t use to eat so much sugar because it wasn’t available at every corner. I don’t think it’s normal to eat the amount we eat nowadays. Therefore it’s no longer a treat in my opinion, but a drug. (At least I’m addicted to sugar).
I decided to cut it off from now on for at least a month (until my grandma’s 80th next month).
I do not deserve sugar! I don’t deserve destroying my body into which I put so much energy, time, effort and hard work to make it nice and healthy. I want to se results and sugar isn’t the nutrition I need. I don’t care how many ice creams and chocolate bars and biscuits are left in the cupboard. I ain’t eating them no matter what! Today is the day. I decided.
But! If I want to lower my cravings, I need to make sure I’m not hungry or missing nutritions I need. So I also start having regular food. And if I crave sugar way too much I have nuts and yoghurt to replace it with. Fat or protein should help.
Lets put a plan at place and stick with it. Why don’t we do it for e.g. a month and if we’re not happy after that time we can adjust or change it? I need to do something. I want a different relationship with food. The current one doesn’t work.
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