@Lucfurfur Welcome to the thread. 
. Be kind to yourself friend. It all starts in kindness 
@Jana1988 Congrats on so much progress and your insights 
And thanks for sharing your story with us.
210 sugar
74 UPF
81 gluten
60 dairy
22 overeating
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Hi, @Lucfurfur! Welcome to the thread! Please donāt feel guilty (I know, easier said than done.) food is fuel, your body needs it.
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Tysm!! Iām Glad to be Here ^^
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Thanks a Lot, i Get what you mean tho ^^
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Whooaa thanks a Lot for Sharing your Story with me, we do have some in Common tho i Gotta say my Family is really supportive even If they Dont understand it completely they try to Help and honestly iām ashamed of it because i canāt Help myself and now the people i Love have to suffer with me :// this is really important for me to hear so i appreceate your words a Lot thanks for all your Help!! If i can do Something for you let me know tho! <33
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Day 1285 : No binge today. 
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211 sugar
75 UPF
82 gluten
61 dairy
23 overeating
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@Faugxh thank you so much for sharing the podcast, Iāve been listening from the beginning and for want of a better word, Iām enjoying it. š©µ
@Jana1988 thank you very happy for you
and your progress, congrats
32 days no takeaways.
7 days no crisps.
6 days no binge-eating.
1 day no sugar.
After 51 days of resisting, I caved in to the ice cream van yesterday afternoon, so sugar had to be reset. I donāt mind, I canāt claim that Iām not having any sugar at all, as yesterday I realised there is some sugar even in my shakes, there wasnāt with the old company that closed down, so I was shocked when I checked the new packets. But Iāll keep my counter to stay focued on not having any obviously sugary foods like sweets, chocolate, ice cream, bakery goods, and fizzy drinks with sugar in, etc.
Iām just happy to have some distance since my last binge.
š©µ
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Ah omg that makes me really really happy! I love that podcast. Beware of one thing tho: the episodes that were most relevant for me were very hard to listen to, even tho also I had the joy of identifying. I forgot most of what was relevant for me, a normal mechanism of repression.
Also they give further reading in their show notes.
V glad youāre enjoying it!
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Day 2. Iām okay now, didnāt eat today bc i couldnāt Get over the guilty of eating a Lot Yesterday I didnāt b/p but yea i dunno
Day 3. I didnāt binge but i Had the strong urge to binge, i ended Up purging but still iām Glad i didnāt binge
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Hi Luc
If you ate a lot the day before, treat the new day normally. Like if the previous day didnāt happen.
Not eating will only slow your metabolism down, your body gets confused and itās very bad for maintaining weight and health.
Plus you will get stronger urges to eat (like on your day 3) because your body will want the nutritions and fuel you refused to give the day before.
Not eating normally after we binged is the biggest mistake you can do. I used to do it too.
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Thanks for the advice!! I know youāre right, i know how i could improveme but i Just canāt manage to actually do Something, i feel Like tomorrow will be the Same but i Dont know how to actually Stop myself and eat normaly, If i think about 2-3 meals a day yikss
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Day 1286 : No binge today.
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Day 1 of walking
Day 12 of low carb breakfast.
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So how much do you eat in the day?
Why donāt you try to make a plan what to eat in one day. Plan your breakfast, lunch and dinner. Plan nutritionally balanced and rich foods which will help you to stay full and make the portions in advance and the decission that you will eat that and only that.
Sit down with your food and enjoy its taste and texture, donāt rush it.
If you only repeat the same patterns and habbits day by day, nothing will change. You must do something differently and think differently to see change
Mainly, have breakfast. Lots of people with ED are skipping this meal and itās also mistake. Any calory deficit and food restrictions only leads to eating like crazy and without control later.
Just remembered that you shall try to recognise which decissions are made by you and which by ED.
Also, what are you scared of? Is it gaining weight? Do you think people will like you less or that you will be less successful if you gain weight? Or is it something esle? There must be some sort of fear of something why you keep binging and purging.
Good luck today 
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I Gotta stay motivated and Stick to those Plans! I usually Dont eat Till 18:00pm(?) thatās when i have Family Dinner, itās uncomfortable and i wait mostly Till my parents Go to sleep bc Then i Get the ugre to binge and purge but iām tired of it, i want to enjoy food with my Family and yea iām mostly scared of gaining bc whenever i gain Weight It goes to my thighs and hips im trans, those bodyparts make me feel uncomfortable bc they will Look even more feminine but b/p only Made me gain Weight and hate myself, iām Not going to b/p today iām gonna make better Plans than this, i Hope you have a good day tho i really appreceate you (ā ā¢ā Ó©ā ā¢ā )ā ā”
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212 sugar
76 UPF
83 gluten
62 dairy
24 overeating
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Oh wow. Till 6pm no food? No wonder you binge at nightā¦ Besides that the urges to binge are your bodyās natural reaction after all day starving, you probably also made it a habit.
Why donāt you make an experiment and see how it goes?
Write down on a piece of paper what everything you ate when you binged. Then take this food and spread it over a day to different times - make it breakfast, lunch and dinner. Would that not be better? Not only that you still would have the same calory intake, but itās easier for your body to digest it during the date.
I know you purge and so you think that the calories went awayā¦ I am afraid it doesnāt work like this. I donāt know why, but you will likely gain weight even when purging. Maybe because youāre damaging the digesting system or something.
Believe me, youād be much better off eating regularly - physically and mentally.
Iām so so sorry you are going through this. I know how it feels 
Itās really hard to break the pattern but not impossible. Did you ever consider a theraphy? Could you find a theraphist and get help? Theyāre professionals and would help you better than me.
I wish I could make you see what I know now. But I remember how my fear and false beliefs about food made me act in the same way like you do now and nothing and nobody could stop me, because in my had I had to do it that way. As I mentioned before, only the theraphy and my devotion to the process helped me. If I didnāt have help, I would still be binging and purging.
I was doing this for approx. 10 yearsā¦ So I do feel you and know how difficult it is to get out of itā¦
Thinking of you
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If you can, watch a documentary called Fteddie Flintoff: Living with bulimia . Itās brilliant. I think itās on BBC and Sky.
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Idk but I once read that even tho it might feel different, you only bring up maximally half of your stomach contents. Really changed the headgame for me in thinking that it was somehow acceptable to do this every once in a while, really helped me drop this behaviour and work on good eating habits. Itās been a few years for me now since I vomitted.
@Lucfurfur welcome to the thread and I hope you can find a way to integrate your gender identity into your life - are you out? I donāt know much about it but methinks that without hormone therapy, fat distribution on your body is going to be what it is for a woman, so this is a practical problem that really isnāt going away. Itās got a more practical solution tho than for most ppl w ED. Just from what i read from your posts.
Wish you the best! 
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