That sounds like a very scary thing you went through, and sorry to hear it made you fall into some poor coping strategies. It sounds like you managed to pick yourself up now, and I’m glad your prognosis is better than you thought. 
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Ouch! I’m so sorry about your injury and the psychological pain and despair it’s been causing you 
I am glad the outcome is more positive than expected, and I know you’ll put in the work necessary to heal. Wishing you that full recovery 
🩵
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Day 1321 : No binge today. 
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16 days no takeaways.
12 days no sugar.
0 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
Yesterday daytime I was having some very disturbing multisensory flashbacks, I still haven’t been able to shake the feelings of disgust and anger. Thankfully, I have therapy today at 1pm, so hopefully that will help. But yesterday, I used my “best” dissociative coping skill and did binge in the early afternoon. Again, I wasn’t tempted by anything sugary, so I’m still grateful for this. I do have slight cravings for it, but when I “play the tape” and remind myself how I feel afterwards or the next day, I don’t want it. Right now, I feel the same way about crisps too. So let’s see if I can make some progress…
🩵
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247 sugar
111 UPF
118 gluten
17 dairy
0 overeating
Hormones are messing with me
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Thank you, @CATMANCAM 
I feel good. No huge regret about slipping off my path. Just a lesson to learn. It wasn’t all of sudden. There were signs and triggers days before it happened, but I ignored them, I didn’t want to see them at that moment… now when I look back, I know they were there and I did notice them, just not acknowledged them. I’ll be better in this next time - note made and lesson learnt.
I am back on track now 
I am sorry that you struggle w crisps and generally with strong cravings. Not sure what advice to give. For me it helps to have such a big and nutritionally rich dinner that I don’t have any cravings later on at all and that’s how I pass my evenings with success. Because once I have cravings, I don’t have the willpower to resist… But I know that you stay awake until late often because of your insomnia, so I can imagine that my tool may not work for you… 
Maybe try having something else instead of the crisps, even when the something else isn’t what you’ll fancy at the time.
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Oh 
… Noooo. I know very well how it feels to be injured, the feeling of world ending and the fear of no control whatsoever 
Well, the best is to calm down, take a deep breath, let the panic slowly faint away and take it step by step. After a while you realise that everything isn’t as dark as it seemed. Which you already managed all these steps 
Injuries are so hard on our mental state of mind. I hate being injured.
Wishing you very speedy recovery 
Glad to hear you don’t need a surgery in the end 
Also, thanks for sharing @Faugxh We have your back All my love to you
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Day 1322 : No binge today.
@Faugxh Sending healing prayers your way so you can recover from your injury.
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248 sugar
112 UPF
119 gluten
18 dairy
1 overeating
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@Jana1988 thank you for your compassion 🩵 and well done for getting straight back on track 
17 days no takeaways.
13 days no sugar.
0 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
I feel like a broken record at this point 
but here I go again, trying. My addict was in my head saying I’m setting myself up for failure trying to stop bingeing whilst there are still 4 days left of the season of the program I’m watching, he says we can stop after it’s finished. Every morning I feel so determined not to, but then around 8pm he gets in my head and the cravings start. I do feel like waiting until after the final on Monday would make success more likely, because after that, I won’t be watching TV on my bed anymore, thus removing the trigger and cue, and therefore (hopefully) the cravings & behaviours. Though at the same time, I could have 3 days by then. Oh and here he is piping up to sarcastically say "ohhh, 3 days 
" FFS. I’ve already gained the 7lbs back that I lost last week, and the reason why that’s relevant is because my back is so bad at the moment, that I can only walk 1300 steps before I’m in agony, so the weight seriously needs to go, and lots of it! Ugh.
🩵
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So sorry for your back troubles! Hope you find relief soon.
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I played the ‘just waiting for a perfect time to quit’ game so often. You know that even after you finish the program you are on now, there will be another one, and then you have to wait some more. The best time is right now!
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@CATMANCAM I’m very sorry to hear your back is giving you so much trouble and thus limiting your options to feel good in your body
This is just a question out of curiosity: What made you stop believing what your addict mind said about the addictions you successfully overcame? Is there some kind of difference when it comes to eating behaviours?
@Jana1988 Good to see you back on track. What really does help me from slipping back into bingeing is to check-in every day on this day with my daily counter. I think it reinforces the pathways of my brain learning these new approaches to food and coping with life. And it keeps me in the ODAAT mindset.
@Faugxh Oh friend, I am so sorry to read about your injury. As a person whose mental health is very much about my ability to be physically active and to exercise I so feel for you 
I really am impressed of the way you are using your tools though. Not eating out of despair and instead adjusting your macro plan and sticking to it is extremely impressive 
I’m sending you a huge wave of good vibes for a good recovery and a good mindset through all of it. And should you be in the mood to do so, I’d really like to hear about how you go about your macro and meal planning and which tools you use.
249 sugar
113 UPF
120 gluten
19 dairy
2 overeating
Back home from my vacation. Back to mindful eating, eating when hungry, stopping when not hungry. Hormones have stabilised and I don’t feel like a starving beast on a food romp any more.
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@tailee17 @Aleyadaisey thank you both
@Misokatsu yes, I know you are right After the final episodes of each program tomorrow night, I’m not planning to start anything else for a while, not in my bedroom anyway, and I don’t binge or eat anything when I manage to make myself watch TV on the actual TV in the lounge.
@acromouse thank you good questions, and I really don’t know why I can’t get a grip on this again. Food has always been there alongside all of my other addictions, and it’s very similar with my addict and his lies, the detrimental effects on my physical and mental health, finances, etc. I will keep trying.
18 days no takeaways.
14 days no sugar.
0 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
I’m disappointed in myself. I went to the shop again last night. Along with the crisps I also bought 3 wraps and a salad type thing, they were in the clearance section and they were new vegan options, which I can rarely stop myself from trying. Big regrets, I ate half of one wrap for breakfast and my blood glucose is now the highest it has ever been, 22.5! I already became aware that my level is dangerously high after bingeing, even non obviously sugary “foods”, so I don’t need to gather any more evidence for this. I wasn’t even craving crisps last night, but I just had the overwhelming feeling of needing them so I could watch TV, it’s such bs. 
🩵
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Day 1324 : No binge today.
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Cravings.
They’re really horrible. So hard to cope with.
I experienced them a lot the other day and I just about dodged the bullet…
It was on Saturday. Me & my bf had visitors and went for a late lunch out. It was all good. I ended up super fool, but happy and it was all nice. We finished eating at about 4pm and so I found myself still satisfied and full later in the evening when I’d normally have a dinner. As I was at my friend’s house, working on my bike, I did not have the opportunity to eat anyway. When I came home, it was late and way after the time I should eat. Plus I still wasn’t hungry and I even had acid reflux. Yet, I really fancied to eat something
I was laying in the bed when my bf came with a laptop to watch something and with a pack of crisps. I wanted to eat them with him so badly!! The fact is, that I don’t actually really like these crisps plus they usually give me IBS… I was struggling and so I decided to go to sleep instead.
I remember thinking about all these racional reasons why not to eat the crisps, such as I don’t even like them, the IBS and also I was trying to imagine how I’d feel the following day in the morning if I ate them. But I was also thinking how the feeling of craving sucks and how it’s not sustainable to be using a willpower like this all the time. If I’d have to go through this every day, I’d rather give up, because resisting like this is f*cking hard and exhausting.
So I totally get it @CATMANCAM that you struggle sometimes. To experience cravings is awful and puts us out of control.
Unfortunately, I am just sharing my story. I didn’t figure out what to do about it. I guess it’s partly the power of the stupid habit of eating at night watching a telly. Something I also struggle to get rid of, also because everyone does it at my household. I tried couple of times to break this, but I always find myself back in it, as it’s more convenient, especially if I want to hang out with my bf for a bit after rather a busy day… 
Well, I’m wishing to everyone to have a lovely Monday and a great start to this new week
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@Jana1988 thank you for sharing your story, it must be so hard when you have other people around you with the foods right there ! You’re doing amazing 🩵
19 days no takeaways.
15 days no sugar.
1 day no crisps, no binge-eating.
I did it! Even though I’d “allowed” myself to until tonight. I didn’t crave them, so I listened to my body this time and didn’t go to the shop. I didn’t watch TV either, I allowed myself to fall asleep instead, which was not difficult after 2 nights of only 3hrs of sleep, I was asleep before the time my cravings usually start at 8pm. I woke up at 1:30am, and purposely didn’t eat anything. I went back to sleep at 3am until my cat woke me up at 5:30, and so I’ve just had my best fasting blood glucose level result since I’ve been testing. 
I cannot guarantee I won’t binge tonight. It will be particularly tempting since I’ve got 4 episodes to watch, and 2 of them are the finals of each program. Plus I know my addict will be there, saying it’s my last chance etc.
🩵
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@Jana1988 Cravings suck. The worst kind of suck. Just my 5 cents here from my experience:
- The longer the abstinence, the less cravings I experience, the milder they get, and the longer the periods between cravings. After a relapse I don’t go back to zero, but the cravings do increase significantly.
- Personally my cravings were the worst in the first week, subsided after a month and the point where I started feeling somewhat comfortable was around three months.
- I have trigger foods (substances). I believe we all have. For me recognizing which foods trigger my cravings after consuming them was very important. The same goes for deciding if I feel I know how to consume these trigger foods without compulsion.
- I lost the battle to willpower around trigger foods so many times. Personally I find it easier to abstain.
- Ask for help. Ask your partner for help. Ask him not to bring trigger foods to places you share.
Sending tons of hugs your way. You’ve done it successfully. Use your tools. Don’t fall into the trap of despair. Despair is a tool of your addiction, not of your health
@CATMANCAM I am totally here to celebrate with you 
You did great! I am so happy to hear you experienced peace. Peace from cravings, peace in being able to listen to your body, peace to fall asleep naturally, peace to wake up refreshed, peace to have great glucose levels. 
I am so happy for you!
If you think this might help, you can PM me when your addict starts bothering you, or cravings show up. However your day might go: Remember you made it for 24h of peace 
250 sugar
114 UPF
121 gluten
20 dairy
3 overeating
Staying mindful. Letting life be.
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Day 1325 : No binge today.
You did awesome @CATMANCAM, you listened to your body, you had better blood sugar, and you got more sleep! Keep it up! Every win counts!
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