I have over 9hrs without binge, I keep relapsing. It’s one urge and I just give in, no resistance, nothing. I just go and do it.
I also hold on hope in everyday, especially in the morning, that today will be different, better.
The good thing is, that tomorrow is my partner’s mum going for holiday for 11 days and it means she won’t refill all the sweets in cupboards and we’ll be for over a week without it (unless we buy them ourselves). Both of us (me and my partner) don’t want to eat these sweets anymore, but we continue eating them just because they’re constantly here. None of us has exactly strong willpower…
I can’t way my partner’s mum to finally leave and have a peaceful house for over a week It’s a holiday for us too
I must admit, I think about food a lot lately, I don’t know why. I just want to eat all the time. Almost like if I want to replace other emotions with food. It might be that I am semi-injured now and can’t do much running and cycling and it makes me feel uneasy and uncomfortable, because I want to do it.
Perhaps something to really think about
@CATMANCAM Nice to hear your niece was such a good influence on you Well done friend! @Jana1988 You’ll get there. You’ve been sucessfully binge free before and you will get there. It’s a great idea to take the chance of your partner’s mum being away to start with a clean house. Make it a special day. Go through all the cupboards. Throw away all the junk. Partner up with your significant other. Start fresh. Make it a special retreat for your body and your soul
After being on and off vacation for the last weeks I got back to my sports programm yesterday. This resulted in more fatigue - my body has to get used to it again - and increased nutritional needs.
This is an interesting situation in regards with binge eating and overeating. Excerting myself, being truly hungry and having this discrepancy in nutritional spending and eating triggers all kinds of fears: of deprivation, of bingeing, of overexercise, of loosing control over my eating, etc.
As I have been doing this recovery thing for several months now I feel like I am getting more skillful around these kinds of situations. I feel like I have more of a margin of tollerance when it comes to how much I eat, how I can feel around food and hunger before I spin out of control.
I like exploring this area and I am confident this is the path to ‘normal’ eating.
@Jana1988 thank you so much I really hope these 11 days will help you get back on track and get out of the loop again, you deserve it too. 🩵 Definitely empty the cupboards of any leftover sweets like acromouse suggested, then it’s a clean slate to build your days on @acromouse haha, thank you and this sounds like more progress for you congrats on your week
36 days no takeaways.
32 days no sugar.
18 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
Narrowly escaped ordering the takeaway I’ve been craving for the past 18 days last night, I actually played the tape forward for once, and then fell asleep.
I hear you and feel the same way. I had a busy morning, moving boxes, going up and down stairs, so was starving at lunch, and ate probably twice what I usually would. But then naturally wasn’t so hungry at dinner. And this was not a binge and restrict that I pretending was normal. The lunch and dinner were both balanced meals.
37 days no takeaways.
33 days no sugar.
19 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
I was craving crisps so bad last night. I couldn’t sleep so I experienced the insatiable hunger from my evening meds. I was worried it was going to overpower me, but I had a good look at my counters and reminded myself how hard it has been to get back on track. There were insecure thoughts about the ‘never again’ concept, but I reminded myself there will be hard days, but it’s not worth relapsing over, ever.
@CATMANCAM I’m sorry to hear your meds have these side effects on your hunger and satiety. As if life was not difficult enough without that Glad to hear you made it through the cravings though @Misokatsu Thanks for validating my thoughts and giving me the perspective that it’s not about this one meal and what a balanced meal can look like.
38 days no takeaways.
34 days no sugar.
20 days no crisps, no binge-eating.
I couldn’t fall asleep again last night, so once again, I was faced with the insatiable hunger. I also hadn’t eaten much throughout the day which is unusual for me because I dont usually skip meals due to fear of bingeing later on. I looked through the second box of photos, there were thousands. I even came across 4 photos of my first abuser, but although I felt angry and sad, I didn’t feel the need to “use” anything to deal with how I felt, quite the opposite, I couldn’t eat, so that was new. There’s one box left to look through, maybe today or tomorrow before I see my brother next week, as I am giving him all the ones without me in (because they don’t show my niece photos with me in as a child because I’m trans).
@CATMANCAM I really am sorry to hear your family treats you so badly. If you had had reconstructive surgery after an accident or changed your hair cut or your style of clothing or looked differently for any other reason would they deny you to be seen aswell? This kind of hurtful BS makes me really angry. You deserve to be seen with all your facets friend, in all your magnificence We all do.
269 sugar
133 UPF
7 gluten
7 dairy
9 overeating
Was at a game night yesterday. There are usually all kinds of processed sugary or salty snacks on the game table. In the beginning of my recovery I asked for those items to be removed from my line of sight.
I still find the packages annoying. They are brightly coloured and my brain thinks that they are somewhat important without being able to provide a cause. They are designed that way. So it’s not really my brain’s fault.
But I absolutely do not care for the contents any more. To be honest whatever is offered and eaten there I find mostly disgusting. I usually bring my own dinner with me and am really glad that I can eat a healthy and tasty meal that will make me feel good afterwards instead of this processed crap that would make me feel bad in all the ways possible.
I am 5hrs and 20mins away from 3 weeks with no crisps or binge-eating, but right now I can’t see myself reaching that milestone. I am craving crisps so bad. I hate this. Nothing has really happened today apart from a conversation with my WhatsApp friend about the mortality of my cats, which I suppose is very triggering since they are my entire world and reason for staying alive. I’m trying to resist but I feel like I’m half-way out the door. Writing here like last time I felt so compelled.
We are here for you. And you are actually doing something new. You are writing about this cravings before you cave in. That’s a great step. Can you distract yourself maybe?
I use the Calm app, and there are 3 different teachers that do a daily meditation each. I’ve just done one about patience, and one about self-esteem Vs self-worth, the next one is called Unfixate, so it might be the best one for right now! I do have some favourited ones that I could turn to if I need more
It seems that the photos are very triggering to you, @CATMANCAM. I’m so sorry, you didn’t deserve the abuse or being treated badly by your family. As for the trans part, you deserve to be proud of who you are as a trans person, regardless of anyone else telling you otherwise. You are valid.
It’s a holiday for us too 
Well done friend!
Your support means a lot.
congrats on your week 
Glad to hear you made it through the cravings though 
We all do.