In my case it absolutely did. Nowadays I will only overeat at the worst, but in the beginnig that was a certain trigger.
Basically my brain got into that survival mode when I went over a hunger threshold, and the next meal or even multiple meals would be a total binge fest or very serious overeating.
What helped me was to work with a hunger scale, check with my self throughout the day and eat when I was at a certain threshold. It took me a while to find out when I needed to start eating, but it was very helpful.
But it might be that just planning a conscious snack between lunch and dinner, or even a second one between breakfast and lunch will do the trick for you. Itās not mindless snacking but incorporating one more meal into your day.
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I am so annoyed with myself! How was I doing for 18 days so well and then I canāt back on track. I donāt want to do this anymore. The binging or over eating, I donāt even know which one it is. So sick and tired of this. Starting over AGAIN 
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Day 1533 : No binge today. 
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Good morning.
I feel like I have a hungover. I donāt know why I feel so bad. The binge yesterday night was a ānormalā binge Iād think but yet I woke up at 4am and felt very unwell and I couldnāt fall asleep again. I had to make myself throw up to feel a bit better 
I donāt remember last time when it would be this bad if ever. Except for when I had bulimia but thatās totally different. I didnāt have a normal chocolate for 22 days and had 1/2 of it yesterday. Could that make me feel so bad? Whenever I ate anything sweet, I was avoiding chocolate and chose something else except for yesterday. I donāt know.
If this doesnāt make me seriously re-think my actions and eating, then I donāt know what.
In a couple of hours I am supposed to have a coffee with a friend which I totally donāt feel like it. I feel like Iāll get migraine, weak, tiredā¦awful.
What am I doing to myself and why???
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What do they say, sometimes itās three steps forward and two steps backward or one step backward? Maybe thatās whatās happening.
I hope that youāre feeling better and not feeling weak tired or awful.
Iām sorry about your last night and I also hope that youāre not getting sick with something totally unrelated as far as how you feel today. One step at a time. Youāre doing an awesome job of very clearly thinking about what youāre doing, thinking about it, talking about it, evaluating it. Give yourself credit for that and be proud of yourself for that. Everything is not going to be perfect all the time, you are making great strides forward. Keep that thought in the front of your mind.
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@Jana1988 Hey girl. Donāt be hard on yourself. This happend to me countles times.
A few things from my experience:
Binges - especially those involving sugar - would always change my brain chemistry leaving me angry, frustrated, irritable, depressed, moody and whatnot afterwards. The hangover is real. So whatever I was feeling, especially if it was very intense, part of it was due to my brain chemistry trying to rebalance. This would take some time. But it would get better.
Obviously when I binged the cravings would intensify, also the stupid ED thoughts and the āfuck itā attitude
Another thing for me was, whenever I went without binges and my substances for a longer time, the hangover after every relapse would feel much worse. It felt like I had been detoxing during my abstinence and would be hit by a big load of poison whenever I relapsed, including migraines from hell and some such.
I totally get how you feel. It took me multiple attempts to get out of that cycle. You can make that too.
Take especially good care of yourself dear 
459 sugar
323 UPF
197 gluten/dairy
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@Alisa @acromouse
THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR YOUR WORDS! I needed to hear something positive 
I didnāt think that Iād be judged and such because by this time I know that there are not judgemental people in this thread, however I didnāt expect a words of empathy and encouragement, more I thought youād just tell me what you think that I did wrong and how to move on. So to hear that Iām doing the right thing and walking the right direction made me a little bit teary in a good way
To be fair, itās after 2pm here in the UK now and I didnāt even eat yet. I āpunishedā myself with 10km run which was actually very nice (I needed a fresh air and to clear my head) and Iām almost scared to eat, because I donāt want to binge again. I donāt feel like binging at all, I donāt have cravings, surprisingly Iām not even hungry, but I know that Iād be if I donāt eat at all. Iām scared that cravings are going to hit me with the first mouthful of food and that I wonāt be able to stop myself from eating.
I will have food now and will keep on my mind what Iām doing here. Whatās good about yesterday is that Iām pretty sure about not wanting chocolate in my life ever again. I just noticed that my partner didnāt eat the other half of the chocolate which I ate yesterday and that itās still in the cupboard but I donāt feel like eating it at allā¦
Thank you again very much for your support and love 
Itās so nice to have a safe place like this 
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@Jana1988 I was going to say the same thing; donāt be harsh on yourself. Just get back up and start again. You can do this. Itās not just binging that can make you feel moody, but EDs in general can since, like acromouse said, it changes your brain chemistry, since youāre not fueling your body properly with the right foods. It takes time for your body to trust you again once you start properly fueling yourself. You deserve so much better than punishing yourself.
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I had to reset my counter just now. We had a few snacks left over from having company yesterday and I ate a whole bag of chocolate covered pretzels in like 20 minutes. I know for sure it was driven by stress, anxiety, and anger due to being forced to watch a Christian nationalist TV channel while eating lunch (so I was already full and had took a box home). I know that my actions only made it worse, and that if we get into a bad situation, I need to be mentally and physically fit. Sometimes itās just overwhelming. I do have better coping mechanisms but this is the easiest one I guess.
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Day 1534 : No binge today.
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Finally I didnāt binge yesterday, which makes me feel better today. After my dinner I had a half pack of cashews in honey which Iām not happy about, but I didnāt binge on it. Itās my fault that I bought it AGAIN, this stuff cannot be in my house!
The good thing is, that itās only me who does shopping. Therefore I can easily avoid buying anything what I donāt want to eat. Yet the cashews are magically appearing in my house, it was probably Ed putting them in my shopping cart when I didnāt pay attention. Now I need to remember that heās coming everywhere with me and that I need to be careful if itās me thinking, or if itās him.
It should feel great to have day 1 again, so why do I feel so defeated? I donāt feel hope, excitement of being back on the journey like Iād expected. Maybe it will come back later? Maybe I donāt trust myself anymore and so Iām just being careful before celebrating? I definitely shall change this mindset, itās not helpful.
I must get ready for work now. Iām cycling to the office today. Itās going to be a hard day ahead, I donāt like Mondays much, I am always still in the weekend mode but having to work. Itās the turning point from freedom to back to work 
Donāt take me wrong, I like my job and enjoy it, but only from Tuesday to Friday. Monday always sucks for whatever reason 
And Iām usually more tired (even though one would think Iād be rather rested from the weekend). I donāt know what Iām blabbing about, I just must go and get on with it. I hope that Iām going to be alright today 
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@Passerina_cyanea Reaching for a healthy coping mechanism in times of stress is difficult. Sorry you were in such a difficult situation.
@Jana1988 Feelings and moods pass. Have a good day 
460 sugar
324 UPF
198 gluten/dairy
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Day 1535 : No binge today.
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Day 2: no binging
Today I woke up and I was hungry which was a very pleasant feeling as oppose to how full and bloated I always feel after a night of binging.
I still felt low on motivation. That kind of āWhatās the point of this when itās not going to last anyway.ā mindset. I can see the issue with this way of thinking so to cheer myself up I wrote about my deepest thoughts into my diary today.
I discovered that I lied about my reasons for why to stopp binging. I kept saying to myself that itās mainly for my good health, but the truth is that I do it because I expect to look better.
Since forever ago I always had this feeling that my stomach is ugly - not flat enough - and the feeling lasts and lasts and lastsā¦ I thought I already gave up on the idea of flat stomach as I probably donāt have the build for it or I dunno, but if I go deep enough I can see that the desire for it still lives somewhere within me.
So I was asking myself why does it even matter to me so much to have a flat stomach? Turns out that I believe that Iād look so much better that even my self-confidence would go up all the way to the sky. In reality nobody would perhaps even notice, because Iām already skinny and my belly probably even isnāt as big as I see it.
After asking myself some questions and answering them truly I finally discovered that self-confidence is only a state of mind and doesnāt need to be based on a body image - thatās my choice. And that if I keep waiting for things to happen first before I love my body, I can easily get to a point when my body wonāt ever receive any love from me at all. And that makes me sad, because itās not what my body deserves after everything what it does for me! Despite all the 
I was up to through my eating disorders, it remained strong and working - giving me signals unique to me about whatās good or wrong for me and my wellbeing. My body never betrayed me and always loved me unconditionally, and I am at a point when I believe that I can and should give this love back and nourish it like it deserves
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@Jana1988 Isnāt it great to experience hunger again? Really love your thoughts. Thanks for sharing them with us. I am sometimes struggling to love my body too. Especially when I am sick or when it does not do āwhat I wantā. But I also have learned that itās a question of training. I am getting better at it 
461 sugar
325 UPF
199 gluten/dairy
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Day 1536 : No binge today.
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Day 3: no binging
I made it through yesterday but I had something sweet to eat. It all happened suddenlyā¦
I went to a shop for a snack about which I thought that was fairly āhealthyā, but when I checked the package I realised that it contains lots of sugar. To be fair, if I used my logic, I could have saved myself the journey and the surprise lol.
I was already at the shop, hence I had to buy something, right? 
I spent a fair amount of time looking for something what doesnāt exist (something sweet with not much sugar). In the end I went to a āfitness aisleā and bought myself some āhealthy barsā, which are basically far away from being as healthy as the package and supplier are trying to convince us (apparently successfully, because peopleās Eds easily fall for it). I grabbed these, and because I can be pretty greedy when it comes to certain food, I bought something else for my partner, so he wouldnāt eat MINE! I bought a poison I know he likes. I actually felt bad about it when doing so, but the greediness was bigger than my love. Disgusting.
Iād like to say that I ate half of his package out of compassion, because I felt guilty that I brought it home and presented it as an act of love, but that would be a lie. I simply craved the sweetness of his stuff. Not a long story even shorter, because itās not much interesting at all - I had two of his 4 bars of poison yesterday after a dinner. Did I enjoyed it? Honestly, I canāt recallā¦
I donāt feel too bad about this, at least it makes me to realise AGAIN what I already KNEW (how many times do I need to confirm this?) - that my body doesnāt like the sugar - this morning I feel like if I already ate, Iām bloated, having IBS and feeling uncomfortable in my body overall.
There are still these āfitnessā bars in the cupboard. There was no question about eating or not eating them in my head, it was crystal clear that Iām having them. But then I wrote my diary (god bless my diary) and thought how ridiculous it is wanting to eat something what causes me issues. Itās a poison which my bodyās trying to fight and has a reaction to it (the IBS, bloating, etc.). Would I eat a poison which is going to kill me just because it was available and tasted nice? Well, whatās the difference?
Ed didnāt like it but I had to make a decision in this matter. He tried to persuade me that I can think about it later, but I know his tricks.
Mornings are when I feel to be who I really am. Later in the day, it fades away with every day responsibilities. Most of the time, as the day goes, my choices will be made automatically without thinking. So if Iām not prepared, itās easy to make a mistake in areas without a strong habit authentical to who I want to be. But I can be sure that the morning pre-planned decisions will be at least 95% aligned with what I really want for myself when my mind is calm and in peace.
Therefore from today on, I will use my mornings to plan thoroughly the day ahead. Whatever is out of that isnāt good for me. That shall help me to save time arguing with Ed.
In regards to sugars - I didnāt reach a point when Iād say a strict no to them (Ed feels his opportunity), just because they help me to raise my energy levels when I need it (e.g. before a bike ride).
However, I am commiting to not eating sugars outside of this exception.
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@Jana1988 Love your insights, love your shares, love your journey!
462 sugar
326 UPF
200 gluten/dairy
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Thank you and congratulations on your nicely rounded number without gluten/dairy. Your numbers are impressive 
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Isnāt it so nice to only shop for yourself? My partner has a restrictive diet so he canāt bring junk in either.
Your most recent posts are a good reminder that motivation is not enough because it always fades. But if you have built the habit, you can keep going afterā¦
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