383 sugar
247 UPF
121 gluten
121 dairy
- mindful eating
My POTS symptoms are currently so exhausting I can‘t eat my meals without distractions. So this counter is off for the time being. I‘ll try to reinstate it when I feel better.
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Day 9
No binge eating
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Day 1458 : No binge today. 
You’re doing great, @Sissychris39! Congratulations on your week! 
I’m so sorry you’re having a POTS flare up, @acromouse. I hope you feel better soon. 
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Baby steps. Do a little something everyday to work towards your goal of taking care of your body. And then make an effort to notice so you can get this negative cycle going the other way. We are all rooting for you. 
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It sounds like you’re not at the right place in your mind right now. Sometimes it’s difficult and it’s hard to turn everything around.
It’s not long time ago you were right on the track, now you’re experiencing down swing. But I know that you can do it again! And feel great again!
I understand why you don’t look after yourself. If you feel like 
it’s hard to find motivation to care about anything really. But it’s the small steps, one by one, which go against how you feel which can get you back. Try stop telling yourself how anything is worthless and start looking after yourself again. Not only with food but with other stuff too.
For example, if I feel uncomfortable in my body, because it’s not in the way “it should be” (meaning shape, etc.) I also tend to neglect myself. I don’t want to nourish it. I want the shower not to last long, because I don’t like to be naked (doesn’t matter nobody can see me). I don’t like to apply moisture because whenever I touch these “problematic” parts I feel disappointment, dislikes and similar negative feelings. But it’s unfair because it’s not my body’s fault that I ate crap or too much and so it is as it is. I also believe that how I perceive myself is different to how others see me. It’s important that I still look after myself with as much love as I can give at the moment even if I don’t feel like it. I just go and do it. Because if you stop doing these other things for you and your body, the negative thoughts will only spread more and more, because you sabotage giving yourself reasons to stop them.
No matter how you look like, dear @CATMANCAM , we love you. I love you. And I want all the best for you! 
I don’t care if you’re fat or thin, I love you for who you are inside. You’re a beautiful person 
Remember it.
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Your other counters are top @acromouse well done! Even when you don’t feel well, you have so many days without sugar and UPF. I wish I was where you are now 
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@Jana1988 Thank you for your kind words. I am trying to distract myself from my current condition but not with food or eating. I don‘t feel like it most of the time anyway. But I am very glad I am where I am with eating. Such difficult times like now would be far worse if I was still trying to deal with my life through food, bingeing or any other addictive behaviour.
@Aleyadaisey Thank you. It will be better. Just a matter of time 
@CATMANCAM I remember a bit ago I asked you what the things are, that you are actually accomplishing. And you named a few. I already know you take care of your cats, and that you read here and post. So this goes on your list of accomplishments. Anything else?
384 sugar
248 UPF
4 months gluten
4 months dairy
I remember the last time I ate gluten and diary was on a family visit in summer. I could have avoided it with some effort, but I wanted to try out the effects. The gluten made my digestive system rebel and I won‘t be having it any time. Diary was ok as a source of protein, but as long as I can stay away from it, I‘ll do so. I know I can use it as an option for traveling, but only in tight situations.
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Day 10:
No binge eating
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Day 1459 : No binge today.
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Thank you very much
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Day 11
No binge eating
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Day 1460 : No binge today.
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386 sugar
250 UPF
124 gluten/dairy
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Day 1461 No binge today. Made it 4 years, yay!
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Congratulations!
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@Misokatsu thank you 🩵
@Jana1988 
thank you 🩵
@acromouse the only other things I do are attending my appointments, but I’ve even had to cancel a few of those lately due to the consequences of my own actions. 
Congrats on 4+ months no gluten or dairy
@Sissychris39 belated congrats on double digits
@Aleyadaisey omg, wow! Congrats on 4 years 
152 days no ice cream.
12 days no crisps.
1 day no sugar.
0 days no binge-eating, no takeaways.
So on Monday, I saw all of my blood test results on my online account with my own eyes, and there were a lot of abnormal ones. Has it stopped me from ordering a takeaway every night since…not it has not. 
However, that is why I have decided to reset my binge-eating counter as well as my takeaway counter, because if I have the two together, and make myself reset both every time, I’m hoping that might deter me.
I so want to be done with this, it has been two weeks now, that’s long enough!
Tuesday I finally had my phonecall appointment with the diabetes nurse. We had quite a long discussion. She didn’t want to prescribe any medications that cause weight gain, due to my weight being as it is, so she prescribed something else, but it comes with a high risk, rare side effect which she warned me about; which is a flesh, muscle, and artery-eating disease that starts in the genital/perinial/anal area, and progresses up the body rapidly, to potential death within hours of the very first signs. I spent all Tuesday afternoon and evening doing my own research about it, and because of some pre-existing conditions, I think I’d be highly susceptible to getting it. So I called my GP surgery on Wednesday to request another phonecall with her to discuss an alternative medication. I haven’t heard from her yet so I chased it today, but all they said was that they had sent her a message but they can’t give me any idea how long it will be before she contacts me as she’s always booked up far in advance, so I’ve requested a GP callback today, to see if he’ll prescribe an alternative, but they only have one doctor working today and it’s the one who I don’t get on with, that has never helped me with anything, so I’m not holding my breath.
The diabetes nurse also encouraged me to stick to my meal replacement diet, and to get out for my walks again, she told me that my old gym does guided walks in my area once a week, and at the place I go already (with the volunteer) twice a week, so I am looking into those.
I feel so unwell. I’ve had a migraine and nausea all day every day for months now, and for over a week now, I’ve been feeling freezing cold and boiling hot at the same time, and sweating hot and cold, with abdominal pain from hell! I’m burping all the time, even after a small sip of water (I’ve never been able to burp all my life). I can’t stop yawning, but whenever I’ve tried to nap I can’t. Today I can feel myself fading in and out and I don’t like it. The nurse said these symptoms (apart from the fatigue) would not be related to my blood results, so it’s either the withdrawal symptoms from my first med that I’m completely off of now, since last Thursday, or something else is wrong. I will be speaking to my GP on the 19th so will discuss with him, unless this pain becomes unbearable before then…it did become unbearable so I spent 9hrs in A&E yesterday, the doctor tried so hard to figure out what was wrong, I didn’t have any scans or anything, just loads of blood tests, questions, and he felt my abdomen and listened with a stethoscope. I had waited 3.5hrs after my first lot of bloods were taken, then I was called in and thought I was going to see a doctor, but it was a nurse saying they needed to repeat the blood tests as my blood had clotted in the test tubes. So I had to wait all over again. Meanwhile though, the doctor called me through and gave me IV fluids and some pain meds to try to make me more comfortable, it didn’t work but it was a more comfortable chair than in the waiting room. He repeatedly said he could see how much pain and distress I was in, and that he absolutely believed my symptoms were real, but he just couldn’t find anything of an emergency nature to do anything about. So eventually, he said it was most likely to be viral gastroenteritis, and I was sent home.
Today is Friday therapy, if it wasn’t the penultimate session this year, then I’d probably cancel because I feel so unwell, and lately I just feel like I’m disappointing him.
🩵
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That really sounds awful. I am so sorry you feel so poorly, and that there is no clear cause.
Don’t worry about ‘disappointing’ your therapist, that is his job. I really feel it is important that you don’t withdraw. That you keep reaching out.
I actually can understand why you keep binging even though your test results are bad. The same reason you (and I) kept drinking even though the negative results were glaring. But, you did it for booze and drugs, you can do it for this. Sending strength and health.
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