Day 82 smoke free, 61 binge eating free, 16 snacking free
Mood swings are extremely exhausting. I have not felt so low in a long time.
Warriors need time to rest. I can spend the entire day only doing the absolute necessary, and it doesn’t mean I‘m weak. I am just recharging.
Have a peaceful day everyone.
So sorry to hear that you don’t feel your best today but you’re ok and save, remember 
You are AMAZING and LOVELY We’ve got your back. Take it easy today. It’s just a feeling and it will pass.
Thank you so so so much love. It was just what I needed to hear. Brought some tears in my eyes 
I don’t feel so lost because you are here for me 
@Jana1988 lots going on for you! Glad you weren’t made redundant .. also hoping that everything else with it will work out for you and you’ll be happy with what you do. Have a great time at home. Super proud of you on your eating
@DanielaJ Yes! Warriors need recharging and today IS the perfect day. Enjoy the quiet and stillness.
778 sugar
642 UPF
Day 1851 : No binge today. 
Thank you, Alisa 
11 days without a binge
8 days without sugar
Yesterday was definitely testing me!
I had to head to the office and when I arrived there was a pack of doughnuts on my desk! My colleagues know me like a someone with a sweet tooth. I moved it to a table on which we put stuff for everyone to grab - to share. The whole day I wasn’t sure what to do, I felt like I should have at least one when my colleague bought it for me. Politeness and all that shabank you know.. I survived morning without having any, in the afternoon I had a thought that maybe I shouldn’t be so strict with myself and that one doughnut isn’t going to kill me. It’s true but I also realised that I don’t love doughnuts that much at all and if I should break my counter I should do it with something more worthy at least. I imagined the taste of the doughnut in my mouth and it was far away from amazing or desired and eating doughnut for a sake of simply eating it didn’t make a sense to me. It’s my body, my physical and mental health and I need to stand up for myself because nobody else will. I need to know what I want or not, it’s unlikely that somebody would force me to eat anything I don’t want to. There might be some pressure but the most pressure is coming from me and my presumptions about what others think of me if I don’t act in a certain way. Even if I was right about it, what does it matter? Nobody should be judging me based on what I am (not) eating and if somebody does, than they’re probably not people I want to be friends with anyway. This helps me to stop trying to meet (what I THINK that are) others expectations. I need to live my life in the way I want. Politely refuse food is absolutely ok and not a big deal.
So I didn’t have a doughnut and that is a biggie for me. Now I believe that I can get through my time in the Czech Republic without eating sweets. And I am less stressed about binging there too.
My thinking changed, I don’t know how, but it seems to be different the way I look at food and binging now as opposed to before. I can take myself out of the cravings and realise my feelings more easily. Maybe because I now know that feelings are what I need to look for. I can clearly see when I am scared, or in stress, or sometimes even happiness can bring me cravings. But I am not reacting to any of it by grabbing food. I just pause, let myself feel and then I simply let go.
There are other parts of what you wrote that I wanted to quote, but I can’t do it without messing everything up tech wise. I am so happy for you having this strength in your mind when you’re headed home. I know you’ve been worried about binging once you get home and now you have good arsenal to keep yourself from doing it. I am so proud of you and happy for you. I know the struggle is real and in your mind you’re certainly coming to lots of terms with it….
I’ve been ať this “stage” for so many times that sometimes it brings me anxiety and fear from failing again. I am trying to look at other people here who have so many days, weeks and months in theirs pocket. I am thinking that there is no reason why it could not be me this time as well. They also went through the process of trying and failing but eventually they figured it out and that’s what I hope to be doing now too.
Having a therapist helps. She brought me to the idea that the problem is in not feeling my emotions, rather than in the food itself. This one sentence gave me so much clarity.
Thank you for your kind words and support, it’s so good to have people like yourself around
How are you today @DanielaJ 
Day 83 smoke free, 62 binge free, 17 snacking free.
I feel better today and I know my mood will lighten up more and more the next days Thank you @Jana1988 for asking and caring
Have a peaceful day everyone!
@Jana1988 Loving your process 
and how your thinking is changing. That is huge!!!
778 sugar
642 UPF
I am soooooo happy for you! These are not baby steps. These are break throughs!
Keep on going, you got this
Just remember if you “fail” that you know what to do to get yourself back up on your plan/ program that you find most suitable for you.
You continue to learn, and your therapist certainly is beneficial also.
That is just really great that you have been able to hook up with the therapist. You have tried so hard for so many years to figure out what it is that triggers you and how you can stop it from continually happening.
I also know what it is like to fail. A couple of weeks ago I had a houseguest that ate some peanuts and left the jar with at least 3/4 of the peanuts in it. ( I have probably 30 jars of these peanuts around in case people in emergency services need them. But they’re basically safe because they’re closed up.)
The peanuts were here and in 24 hours I ended up eating all the peanuts. It was a big jar of peanuts. I told my friend who left them here and they just said ‘there’s no way that they could’ve ever eaten that many peanuts in that amount of time.’ It was just a normal size big jar. I kept thinking I need to drown these peanuts. I was very disappointed in myself. So I get it.
I know, it seems so unreal that some people can eat just certain amounts of food and stop themselves. And some people (like us) just can’t stop until it’s all gone. The enormous amounts of food we manage to eat and others find it hard to believe that it’s even possible…
I always admired people who would go and have a small bit of chocolate and left the rest for another day - that certainly never happened to me and I don’t get it that someone can actually naturally do it without experiencing hard time over it. If I wanted to do it, I’d have to use my willpower and the chocolate would not exit my mind until it would be gone. I’d probably end up eating it all eventually anyway. It’s such a weird “illness” to somehow adapt 
Yes. With a small piece of dark chocolate being a health asset with lots of antioxidants.
failure is how we learn and grow! not super helpful advice but I remember reading also that most successful former addicts tried multiple times to quit and to think of it as practice.
i have been stress eating lots of garbage for about a week. yall would not believe this story but there was a police SWAT team standoff at a neighbors house, the man refused to leave and they were basically torturing him and completely destroying his house with different weapons so we stood watch, like i was there for 15 hours thinking this man was going to be killed any second. lots of us are traumatized and unfortunately I haven’t been making good choices with food or with my obsession with what happened and trying to get to the bottom of every little thing and I know it’s not healthy.
on the flip side I had my intake call with a registered dietitician who works with people with eating disorders and so far she seems like she will be so helpful. I’ve gone through 5 therapists in the last 7 years because every time I want do focus on food they say they don’t have any experience with it etc.
Day 1852 : No binge today.
@Jana1988 Wow, that’s fantastic that your thinking is changing and you’re making great progress! I’m so proud of you! 
@Passerina_cyanea Oh no, that’s horrible. I’m so very sorry you had to witness a swat and that it triggered such a bad binge. It’s understandable you would be frightened. Sending supportive hugs your way. 