I have absolutely nothing negative to say about AA meetings. I live in a notoriously liberal area, and the AA around here reflects that. It is very welcoming, in almost 20 years I’ve never seen anyone put out of a meeting or bullied in a meeting. And there are always very good people in AA, people who will recognize any fragility you may carry and help you with it. In AA, we have to help each other, that is very much at the core of the AA program. It is loving and giving, it must be, we must be loving and giving, else we will not stay sober.
Another fantastic thing about AA is that I have been exposed to the literature that stands the test of time, that I return to weekly, that I study and learn from daily. Here are my top AA books and how I use them:
24 hours a day - this is a daily meditation book that is not officially approved AA literature. It is published by Hazelden, which to my knowledge is an outgrowth of a successful alcohol rehabilitation facility up in Minnesota (northern central US). This book was written by an AA member in the 1940’s and 1950’s, and has an entry for each day of the year, with an AA thought for the day, a meditation for the day, and a prayer for the day. Mine is heavily marked up, taped together, and well worn. I have been reading it every morning for probably 15 years now. While it leans on the language that uses “God” and references it as the Judeo-Christian model, I find it easy to substitute that terminology.
Alcoholics Anonymous - the “basic text” of AA. Of particular use to me are the personal stories in the back of the book, and the separately published collection of personal stories from the first three editions that have been removed or replaced in the current fourth edition. That book is titled “Experience, Strength, and Hope”. I study the so-called “Big Book” of AA in three ways. My AA home group has three literature-based meetings a week, one of which is devoted to the Big Book. We read and discuss one story or one section at a time each week. Second, there is an ongoing discussion right now on Talking Sober devoted to the Big Book, where we read and comment on a section each week. Finally, there is a newly published book “The Plain Language Big Book” that caused quite a stir in AA. It is misunderstood as a replacement for the Big Book, when it is meant as an ancillary text, a guide to studying the Big Book. It replaces the 1930’s, male oriented, Christian influenced language with modern language. Two friends and I have held one study session of this book so far (we had three consecutive weeks of flu and misaligned schedules after that, but our intentions are good!)
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions - another book that my home group reads. We go through a step a week, and once a month read a tradition chapter. It was the first book I bought in AA, because my sponsor told me to read Step 1 every day until he told me to stop. It was my first 30-45 days back in AA that I read that chapter every morning. It is operatic in tone, and is still one of my favorite writings.
Living Sober - the final book in the group that my home group reads. This is a fantastic guide to early sobriety in particular. It is truly crowd-sourced, with uncredited multiple authors. This is the most vibrant book in the AA collection, and is currently being updated to include experience, strength and hope of AA members during and after COVID.
The Big Book, 12 and 12, and Living Sober are all available in PDF format for free on the AA.org web site. And here is the current Big Book study thread (I am a week behind in my comments!). Thanks for keeping an open mind - it could save your life! And I happen to think you are worth it, friend.