I had a chat with my friend today, I was on my phone (on ST) and he asked what I am doing. I answered ‘Im talking to my friends alcoholics’, that made him clearly uncomfortable (he is a daily drinker) and started explaining that he might be drinking every single day but he is not an alcoholic, I answered ‘Thats ok but I am’… it is a bit sad (also in a way entertaining to see) how people are defending themselves from the truth.
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I ran a fever out of nowhere over the weekend and I wasn’t fully right until yesterday. It was my only symptom, I really don’t know what it was about.
With two friends, I’ve started a Plain Language Big Book study group. We met last week for the first time, but both fellas dropped out this week. I was very disappointed, but I’m sure we’ll be back in business next week.
Be well and try to get some fresh air to overcome the paint smell!
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Take care of yourself Dan, I had some flu symptoms as well, much better now. X
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Great to hear from you… renovations eh? Will be fun to get back Tina “new” space.
I too found that to be funny. Like me taking care of myself is causing you them to take defense. Also hearing that I didn’t really have a problem.
You answered that perfectly. I know I may have been the one on the defensive a few years back. Mainly cause many family members had hunted that I had a problem and to me I thought they were full of it. I thought they were making a big deal over nothing. So I was quick to defend myself lol…how blinded was I? Even when I started with Talking Sober I did so to get support with quitting but didn’t think I had a problem (go figure). Reading here and seeing similar stories made me more self aware. The truth is a hard pill to swallow.
Keep stacking up the days 
@SinceIAwoke glad you are feeling better Dan. Hope you are able to get the group back together.
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I was thinking a lot about my 60 days journey today, I still remember how hard it was to start with…
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I also remember wondering why people here are so supportive, why they even care about me, a total stranger… I understand it now when reading posts from people who just started their sober journey or who relapsed, I really wish I could help them, I understand their struggle so too well, their good sober days make me happy…
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Way to go Blanka!!
I can’t believe it’s been 60 days. So proud of you. This is HUGE!!
You never know how you help people just by being here. We never know who or how we are helping. I just try to lead with my heart and share my own experience.
Keep up the great work.
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Omg I’m so very happy for this!!! Way to goy friend… congratulations on your 2 months 
You being here is helpful like Eric said. It’s your story and your daily work that you put in that gives hope to newcomers.
Keep up the amazing work
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I was scrolling through my feed and came across this topic. I just wanted to say congratulations on 60 days of sobriety. That’s a huge accomplishment!
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Thank you so much @Clenton85 xxx
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‘We must recover loudly to keep others from dying quietly’ so much truth in this… Im thinking about how we are blamed for and expected to be ashamed of being addicted to the very substance that is addictive but still easily available and often literally pushed on us…
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Tomorrow 9 sober weeks, Im home now so Im safe but Ive spent so much time today discussing with my addicted mind the idea of relapsing today… it was trying to convince me in the most devious way that there is no point in staying sober the way I do it now because:
Even though Im not drinking my life is still shitty…my diet is not perfect, I dont exercise every day, I dont study enough for my exams in June to finally get better paid job, financially I barely ‘keep my head above the water’, I am (and most probably will stay forever) single and in fact I cant even start dating again because that would be a massive trigger… and so on… so basically I suck anyway…
So how about I forget about it all just for today and start my new and ‘perfect’ life again tomorrow… this time I will be waking up early every day and smashing my ‘to do list’…
OMG! I really almost believed it.
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It really helped me to know that you are here for me guys, and if I fail in staying sober (probably the only thing I am proud of now) I will have to tell you about it tomorrow morning… I imagined how I would feel about myself… I realised I can’t afford it anymore
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Big hugs to you my friend. I am so sorry that you battled such thoughts today. Yeah - our addict mind will sling all these and more our way. We have to realize that drinking will not solve anything and only make reaching any type of goal that much harder.
9 weeks is a huge success but it is still in the early stages of your sobriety. We can’t expect ourselves to totally retrain our minds, start new routines, change our behavior all while detoxing and trying to stay sober overnight. Be patient my friend. List out all the positives you’ve gained in these 9 weeks.
- you are not hungover every morning
- you are saving money
- your daughter is seeing a healthier sober version of her mom
Just to name a few but you get the idea … keep the list handy and keep adding to it cause in sobriety you will keep adding to the list.
I have seen many needing first 6 months to be comfortable enough in sobriety before tackling a routine. They also say not to do anything big like move or change careers or start dating in 1st year as you are still very raw and yes it is very triggering. Just concentrate on you and get to know the sober you. I found that I was meeting myself for the first time and it has been a fascinating ride.
So proud of you for not giving into those thoughts. You are already flexing your sober muscles . Have a wonderful night knowing you will put a sober head on that pillow!
Look forward to celebrating your 9 weeks tomorrow 
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You can do it. Stay sober today and do what it takes to get head to your pillow sober tonight. A drink is not going to fix any thing. It only going to make it worse!!!
As far dating my advice is to not worry about dating right now. You have a lot going. Also I believe one should be comfortable with being by them self. Another person doesn’t complete you, you do that. And you should be your own best friend.
Please don’t pick up tonight. I promise you will regret so much in the morning. Don’t let your demon win!
Have cup of tea, take hot shower, get some extra rest, go to a meeting, etc… keep going, you got this!!
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One of the cute comments I learned in AA is “I don’t go into my thoughts alone - it’s a bad neighborhood!”
I took a lot of comfort from people sharing the exact kind of thoughts you were having today - they made me feel less odd and less a failure. To know others think the same things - that is a huge relief! Particularly when I see them staying sober, and sharing how they got through those thoughts.
An example that will stick with me forever was a fellow named Jed who talked of his irrational fear that his children would burn up in a house fire. I heat my home with a wood stove, and I was always scared that my kids would misuse the stove and the house would burn down. And I felt a fool for thinking that, until Jed spoke my crazy out loud. I almost cried with relief, it hit me like a big wave, the feeling that I was not alone in thinking this way and knowing it was irrational.
Oh, and one other technique I found useful. When I would have unwelcome thoughts about returning to drinking, I was told to go find a private place, or go outside, and say aloud, even shout if needed - “FUCK OFF!” It worked for me a couple of times, and after that I was not so bothered by the thoughts coming at all.
Every day a drunk like me makes it to bed sober and wakes up sober is a miracle, and I find comfort and gratitude in that thought. No matter what else happened that day, if I screwed up or I hurt someone - I did not drink and that gives me a chance to rectify it the next day without shame. Going to sleep sober is a win, every single time.
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Thank you @Von100 xxx no I won’t pick up a drink tonight, its midnight here, I don’t keep alcohol in my place and as long as I come home (without a bottle) I am fine, I am with my cat (my little shadow 
)
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Beautiful post Jasmine, you know me so well (how is that even possible 
but you really do). I woke up hungover free and fresh today and I remembered that I almost didn’t and it scared me… yes 9 weeks is still early, too early to expect that everything will be different and my life will be suddenly ‘perfect’. It is the way it is now due to like 10 years of alcohol abuse… I need to be patient, I know.
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