Thank you @Von100 xxx no I won’t pick up a drink tonight, its midnight here, I don’t keep alcohol in my place and as long as I come home (without a bottle) I am fine, I am with my cat (my little shadow 
)
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Beautiful post Jasmine, you know me so well (how is that even possible 
but you really do). I woke up hungover free and fresh today and I remembered that I almost didn’t and it scared me… yes 9 weeks is still early, too early to expect that everything will be different and my life will be suddenly ‘perfect’. It is the way it is now due to like 10 years of alcohol abuse… I need to be patient, I know.
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Thank you so much Dan xxx yes going to bed sober is a win! sometimes easy win but sometimes struggle. I love the ‘Fuck off’ tactic, I will def try it next time 
My addicted mind is such a bad neighbourhood, place to avoid at all cost or if suddenly trapped in to call someone to watch my back… Im lucky Ive got you guys 
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So very Happy to be celebrating 9 weeks with you today! 
So awesome to wake up sober and keep adding to your recovery journey.
We understand the battle as we all have experienced it first hand and know how hard it is. You are doing amazing work and should be proud 
… Just remember that if you keep moving forward you will never have to repeat day 1 
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I thought to myself that maybe my life is not really ‘shitty’ and maybe (just maybe
) I dont ‘suck’ as much as I decided I do just 2 days ago. I am just sitting here looking at freshly renovated flat, I put so much effort into it. Would I ever have done it if I wasn’t sober? I really doubt it. I love you guys
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I like this little angel figurine, I remember when (some time ago) I picked it I thought it looks just like me first thing in the morning
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Oh I love the shift in attitude and for sure you don’t suck…that is just a phase your mind went through to try to get you to relapse. You were strong and held your own
Just goes to show us that all thinking and emotions are temporary and we can overcome them.
Love the new space and that angel is beautiful 
much love right back to you …
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There is this feeling I felt sometimes… recently (last few days), and it seemed familiar. I would name it ‘feeling invincible’… Surprising and lovely feeling and I was trying to figure out why/how do I know it. I realised today that I felt it before when drinking first glass of alcohol. Feeling so good and calm and strong… feeling that lasted only maybe 20 minutes until the ugly sides of drinking kicked in.
Maybe this feeling was the very reason I was drinking… and now after 66 days of being sober I can feel it without alcohol.
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One of the most shameful memories I have of drinking is around the first sip of the first drink. I had left work and bought beer. Driving off, I cracked open the first can. At a stoplight, I had the first sip and let out a deeply intense sigh of relief. I felt it in my whole body, down to my toes. And I was so ashamed that I should feel such relief from a drink.
Like you, today I experience the same sense of relief from just a conscious deep breath, or relaxing during effort, like holding these ridiculous planks in this month’s challenge - I can relax my shoulders and calves and other muscles one at a time, all while working to keep the plank sturdy and straight.
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It might be as simple as hormonal imbalance caused by drinking… and the rush of dopamine after first drink. Maybe my dopamine level is balancing now and I can feel so good without alcohol. Well I didn’t expect that
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AAh how awesome it is to get that same feeling from life and life’s joy’s - the one that we thought we could only get from our addiction.
Love this revelation
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Busy Sunday in front of me… carpets cleaning day! Just sitting here looking at all the stains… it might be actually therapeutic process like cleaning my life (or something like that LOL). 68 DAYS 
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Happy Sunday. Hope you got some good music blasting as you do some deep cleaning. I can see it as a therapeutic process .try to have fun with it
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Sounds like mowing the lawn - you get to tame the unruly and see the change right away!
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OMG! I just finished first room and the carpet is so changed, even different colour as well! the water I poured out… disgusting is an understatement! It really makes me think about my life from 68 days ago LOL not sure if I should laugh or rather cry… so I choose to laugh 
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The machine I borrowed is named ‘Rug doctor’ LOL good name I would say, or should I name it ‘Blanka doctor’ 
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One annual task I have is stacking wood. I heat primarily with wood, with a wood stove in the kitchen that radiates throughout the house. I buy the wood already split, about the diameter of a 2 liter soda bottle, and about 40 cm (14-18 inches) in length. It is delivered one cord, or a cord and a half, at a time. A cord is 3.6 cubic meters (4x4x8 feet), and I usually lay in 6 cords per heating season. Sometimes I harvest trees off my property, deadfalls or ones broken by storms.
It takes me about 2-3 hours per cord of wood to stack it 3-4 pieces at a time, moving it from the ground where the fellow dumps it from his truck, into my wood shed. The shed is roofed and open sided and about 6 inches (15 cm) off the ground. It can hold close to 7 cords fully loaded up. It’s meditative to squat, pick up logs, straighten, walk to the shed, place the logs on the growing row, turn and walk back to the pile. Over and over and over. The chaos of the pile on the ground shrinks, and the orderly rows in the shed grow and grow. I use the summer evenings to stack, so this task can take several weeks, depending on my supplier’s ability to deliver. When it’s all finished, I feel an immense gratitude wash over me, knowing we will have a steady source of heat for the coming winter.
I listen to baseball games or 70’s rock and roll while stacking. It’s mostly just noise that I use to focus inwardly. How does my body feel? What is weighing on my mind that I can release? Can I recite the litany of folks I have encountered on my sobriety journey? And sometimes, I can just listen to the heartbeat of the universe. I get a proper sense of my size and importance and my proper role in the galaxy and in my life.
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Carpets cleaning done! Its taken longer than I thought (moving furniture etc) and I am very tired but it was worth the effort. My daughter is coming home in a week, she hasn’t seen the changes yet… she won’t recognise the place and she might not recognise her brand new mum
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Oh I love it. 
Glad you got it all done…I’m sure it was an exhausting day. Hope you are getting a well deserved deep sleep tonight 
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Thank you so much Jasmine xxx