This is a heavy heavy tread, so much stories and pain .Thank you all for posting❤ it’s heartbreaking im filled in tears.
Grand dad i miss you .
Feelin like I never should have started this thread 
So ive been putting this off for a couple months in the mindset that if i didnt acknowledge it it didnt happen ya know? My cousin that was pretty much my oldest running parter, the guy i tried pretty much every drug for the first time with died the weekend after Thanksgiving. It wasnt a big surprise honestly, hed survived about 8 or 10 overdoses and drunken car crashes that would have killed anyone else, he was definitely on borrowed time but im still gonna miss him…
Marshall Glenn Hardison - Nov. 26 2018
@MoCatt thanks for telling me about these guys, he would have loved this song…
Pete
Chris
Mike
Rich
Donovan
Alcohol and drugs.
As much as id love to stop there Ive got one more and this one hurts like hell…
My best friend since preschool, the guy i collected comic books and nirvana albums with, did all my school group projects with, spent all my free time with, and whos mom threw us a joint birthday every year from the time we were 8 right up til we were 20 died last wednesday and i feel so empty right now i dont know what to do.
About 6 years ago we both were at what was probably the height of our addictions and decided to pull what us 12 steppers call a “geographical” he high tailed it to Texas and I went to Maryland, but as any of u guys in the program could probably guess it didnt work for either of us and out of shame we both just kinda lost touch til it got to the point I didnt talk to him for about 3 years.
Last year after i started coming out of the haze again i noticed him posting a lot of recovery memes and self deprecating comments about himself on facebook so i hit him up and we got back in the swing of talking at least once a week. I saw him at christmas when we were both back home and he was talking about moving back because he was having problems with his girlfriend but he was scared to be back around all our old friends. I told him id come hang out with him every weekend and introduce him to my homegroup down there so hed have a port in the storm when i couldnt be there and 3 weeks ago when they finally broke up thats what we did. We both left, me to go back to work and him to go start packing to move. I called him tuesday night to make sure he got home ok and we sat on the phone talking about going to see all the new Marvel and Stephen King movies coming out this year and all the other shit we were gonna do to stay out of trouble. What i didnt know was that weekend we were down there 2 of my cousins, the younger brothers of the guy i just posted about got him high after i left and sent him home with a bag and they found him alone in a hotel room wednesday morning.
Im so damn angry and hurt right now i dont know how to make sense of it. Angry at myself for not just taking the day off and staying that sunday night, angry at him for doing it and for lying about it and acting like everything was fine and making plans with me on the god damn phone knowing he was about to gamble with his life again, and absolutely livid with my cousins dragging him right back off the path as soon as i was gone. I want to hate them for it but i cant, I know theyre struggling too, they both looked like death warmed over at the funeral and it wouldnt surprise me to have to go to one or the others funeral next but they were right there with us when we were running around the comic shop and at all those birthday parties too.
Above all the anger im just filled with this deep, dark, mind numbing sadness that i think is going to take a lot of time, meetings, and crying to shake and i dont even know where to begin.
Sean you were one of the most kind hearted, intelligent, funny, and musically gifted souls this world has ever produced and its going to be a darker place for a lot of people without you. I will never forget you my friend, the memories we made will forever be etched on the walls of my soul. I love you brother, so long and goodnight.
Sean Michael Horan - Feb. 6th 2019
@Neighbrofthebeast668
Josh, man I can’t tell you how sorry I am you’ve got to go through all this. So many emotions. I know there isn’t a damn thing I can say to ease any of your pain, but I am glad you had been back talking to him regularly.
If you ever need to chat hit me up with a message, or I’ll give you my number if you wanna talk. I got some big ass ears brother!!
Ah Josh…I know there are no words to take away the pain of these losses. I can only imagine how devastated you must be. You’ve had to deal with saying goodbye to so many you love. Please know how much you are loved, and how thankful I am that you are here. You are a good man, my friend. Don’t hesitate to give your NC buddy a shout. Keep the music playing - they wouldn’t want anything else for you. Hugs…
Thanks man I really appreciate that, and my sponsor prob would even more lol, that poor guy cant get a break between me and another guy he sponsors, but he has been a model of patience and guidance and kept a bottle out of my hand this past week…i thought i knew what cravings were but this has been on a whole other level.
Wow josh…I’m so sorry to hear what you are dealing with. I think it’s amazingly brave though, and beautiful, to let their stories be told on here. So glad that you’ve been teaching out here and most importantly to your sponsor. Sending you all of my love from nj 
Colton. My friend gone way too soon. I thank God every day I got to know him so well before the disease took him. He was a big believer in alchemy and astrology💙
My father. He died on the day he turned 50. Alcohol ruined his life and affected our family in terrible ways. He was a smart guy and a good caring person. I loved him and I miss him dearly.
Jay, my husbands best friend for thirty seven years, taken away by alcohol way too young. We said good bye today for the last time 
Dad
Joe Autry
Mr. Powell
Daniel B, my baby brother. I love you and miss you every day of my life. Mom has just come to join you. I have amazing guardian angels:purple_heart:
This thread has me near tears you guys. Jesus, too many.
Sarah J 2017 you were always in my corner and I never thanked you for that.
Matty B 2014 I miss your laugh
Amy Rose 2011 I miss the quiet times
Miss you guys.
Adam M.
3/2/80 to 4/12/19
- Heart failure. These addictions kill us in various ways-leaving many heartbroken people behind
Ive had 3 of my closest childhood friends die in the last 2 years because of this piece of shit drug.
My boy buddah (real name was Kieran) overdosed in the batrhoom at a restaurant while he was there with his parents. Dad walked in to find him unconscious on the ground.
Cody Breslin. He was 18 years old. 2 of his “best friends” sat there and watched him overdose and didn’t call the police. Sent his brother spiriling out of control and ended up in jail for battery.
My best friend in the world Nick died because someone high on opiates hit him head on.
Me and him had just left buffalo wild wings and i just remember his last words to me were “Be safe brother, ill see you on monday” we had the same job. I dont hear from him and when i get to work on monday my boss sat me down and gave me the news and i lost it. My boss let me have that day off.
I think about it every day.
So,i was gonna try,but i just can’t yet… i can’t even read anymore. Ill try again, too soon for me
Leitha Koslowski…
I love you auntie.