Hi @Savpaigepippert & @JayRiver and welcome to the greatest recovery forum on the planet 
I got sober in 2004 with the help of AA. Willpower has very little to do with getting sober!
You need a recovery program an a group of sober people to talk to.
The only person that understands an alcoholic is another alcoholic, everyone else has no idea what it’s like.
We need empathy not sympathy.
I found meetings a must, but that’s up to you.
This app has been a god send and it’s kept me going when I’ve not been able to make F2F meetings.
There’s meetings on line check out the links below;
The bottom line is you can’t do this by yourself you need help.
You’ll find help in abundance here, we’re all fighting our own demons and helping others to fight theirs.
Stay strong stay sober and remember that we all arrived in different ships, but we’re all in the same boat now 
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