Day 86 
My kitty is on the mend, so that’s a huge relief. I cooked two healthy meals for myself today. I did two loads of dishes. I had a decently productive workday. I am sober and I am grateful for that. 90 days is just around the corner, which seems infathomable.
Haven’t checked in for a couple days, but I’ve been staying strong and continuing to read here.
Day 11 just about in the books, had one of my bigger tests tonight. I checked in with my dad, he has been one of my contributors/enablers to my drinking problem, you could say I learned from one of the best. In any event, when I told him I was giving up alcohol, I told him I didn’t care if he continued, but asked him not to pressure me to drink when I come over or I wouldn’t be coming over. He was going pretty good when I got there tonight, but it was nice that he asked if I wanted a soda and didn’t even imply that I should have a beer. A small achievement, and seeing him jagged has reaffirmed to me that I don’t want to be that guy anymore.
Awesome job on 1 week. I went to Linden Oaks in Naperville for treatment. That was 2 years ago so they did something right lol.
Day 508. I’ve always been good at occupying myself on my own, no matter how much I have access to. However, it’s been harder to do as much on the productive side of things recently. For me this is the difficult part, because if I feel like if I’m accomplishing things then I’m wasting time and I start feeling guilt and increasing pressure to change that. I’ve been reminded by a few people I have a tendency to be always “on” and humans need balance. So, this is an opportunity to practice seeking balance. Funny how the lessons you need to learn are usually not the lessons you want to learn…
A day after I made a post on here about how once “this” is all over, I wanted to join a Pilates studio with my friend from work, like we had talked about before… And the next day she messaged me about joining an Instagram live Pilates workout. So I’ll be doing those until I can go in person. And I’m also learning how to dance kinda, which has been really fun. And I’m staying sober and which is great.
Day 6, noticing my motivation improving, getting back to things I enjoyed again
Day 106!!!
hang in there you! the observation is spot on. the focus on the little things. cleaning every spot… getting more and more into details. I do als soooo recognise it. But you are aware, and your toolbox is filed to the top with writing, observations etc… you can do this, It will take you round, like in Stranger Things to the upside down world. another level of consciousness and then will come up for air again.
I have been in isolation for a few months already, due to health. in a new house that is not my home. remodelling has come to a halt, nothing is the way i want it to be, the way i planned it to be and I have almost no influence. It drives me crazy. Andi took the wrong road for a little. Every time I get confronted with my health or the corona crisis I start fixating on small things.
I remember. I lost my mom at realy young age. the surgeon came for house visit right before the end and I was rambling (in retrospect) She said something I remember till this day. “Your world is upside down, you are so sad and instead of feeling all the emotions you focus on every little stain on the floor… how much do you think that matters in the end?”
Be kind to yourself. see you back here when ready
Day 557 
Still sober and trying to focus on what I can control instead of worrying about all the things I can’t. But it’s hard. The corona virus turned my world up side down. My kids home and one of them is sick, don’t know if it’s Corona or just the flu. Happy she hasn’t have a fever otherwise we all has to go in quarantine.
At work we have a team of 5, but now I have only 2 left including myself. Getting help from other stores so I can keep open. Writing here and in my diary is helping me keeping my feet on the ground.
@Fargesia_murielae you be missed here, but you has to do what is good for you. You are here for yourself. I hope you will feel better soon 
Seems like I can have it all. Be sober and Have My Corona too…
seems like I am out… blehh. all the symptoms, feverish. mildly I hope.
I still have to walk the dog on days I have no support and the dokter is ok with that. as long as I can breath or had no contact with people that have corona… . luckily my town is quiet. try to take the long walk early in the day so there are no people. and further staying in. been in bed for 3 days now. that never ever happened in my life.
@Maria sorry to hear. Good for you though, sober, walking the dog, doing the right thing isolating.
Keep getting that rest it will help. Breathe and pray. 
Beautiful photo! hang in there. We are all alone, But…together alone. enjoy the bike ride!
Checking in @ almost 6 months/180 days in 12hours and a bit
…
Be well peopz
Day 111.
Feeling a bit… I’m not sure. Angry? Worried? Spent time last night texting back & forth time my brother in a different province back home. I talk to him every single day since dad died several months ago. They lived together. And he’s got some mental health issues. On top of this isolation, his work closed, no sports (his outlet to distract); last night he got a call saying a psychic needs to talk to him. And that it’s about our dead father. He was shaken up. I’m just so disgusted there’s people like that in this world. During these times especially. Do they read obituaries? Is it someone messing with him? I feel SO bad for him as he gets a bit paranoid and has guilt for dads death, as he found them in their apartment, he tried to revive dad unsuccessfully. So I know this is playing on his mind. It hurts to see him hurt. He lives in constant anxiety & worry. Trapped in his own mind kinda. And a civil lawsuit against dad on top of this… Phew. Sorry for tangent. I just needed to get that out. Not much I can do but continue to support and be there to talk to him. To rationalize for him.
Now I’m off to make little man’s breakfast and start my work from home day. Stay strong, my friends
Day 9. I am sleepy again this morning. I woke up this way yesterday too but ended up having a great and productive day. Hubby is officially done working due to the stay at home order, he builds new homes so they were able to squeak by for most the week then the sheriff showed up yesterday to enforce our Governor’s order. I’m craving but not too bad, it honestly helps to know I can’t go anywhere so I can’t stop by while I’m out and pick something up from one of my dealers. I’m already noticing I’m more patient and present and that’s good, just wish my energy would be better, especially in the morning. Have a fantastic sober Friday everyone 
Nice one mate 2 weeks is great going. We got this 
