My sponsor is a bit of dick so this is his second question.
Did you pray about it again?
Seriously though, if you are between steps 4 and 5 this exactly how you should be feeling. It’s a rough time for any addict. In AA they recommend as little time as possible between steps 4 and 5, but I’m also familiar with NAs steps and I know that answering the questions comes before doing the 5th step.
Some completely unsolicited advice until you have a chance to do your 5th is to read steps 6 and 7 and follow the instructions and prayers. Generally a feeling of discomfort can be traced to a character defect (fear or ego). Steps 6 and 7 relieve us of the burdens of defects found in 4 and 5. Though you may not know what you’re asking God to remove you can still ask him.
Absolutely this! @Conor689908 just because it’s a thought doesn’t mean it needs to become reality. Wait it out. The craving WILL eventually pass. Keep talking to us. Anyone. Just don’t pick up.
Day 17. It hasn’t been easy lately but nobody ever said it would be. I haven’t been hurt by anyone or anything so there is no blame. Just the struggle. Just trudging. I’m not drinking today. I don’t know about tomorrow. Only today. It’s all I’ve got. Today.
@Conor689908 Hi Conor, I haven’t posted for a long time, but I check in every day and get support from everyone’s strength. You have got this! When I face darkness, I read the writings from, “The Lark”. Hopefully this will help you
Last night was the first night in about 4 months when 6 hrs sleep gave me energy for doing amazing stuff all day. Have had excellent performance at work, played football ( soccer )with my lil boy, continued on home DIY which I have started 4 months ago at the time relapse began …and after all heard alcoholic voice ‘you deserve it, get it, drink it.’ Managed today to put this voice away. Grateful it is a bath and bed time. Day two behind me and hopefully will keep adding more.
Again reading your messages was a massive help too.
Walked for hours today with dog and sam my son just followed the river. First time i felt alive in a very long time… hope i can keep this feeling. Made me realise how internally stagnant i had got over the years.
Aye! I don’t have words of wisdom, I was literally just there and there many times. What are you telling yourself? I’ve noticed it’s not necessarily circumstances but rather I actually manipulate my own self into drinking. Is there an inner dialogue that’s triggering you?
@Hopeful777
Marie, I am so happy to see this!!! You look so happy in the photo. It helps to get out and move around. Especially when the sun is shining. Sounds kike a wonderful day!!!
Conor, how are you feeling now? I’m so sorry I missed all this and wasn’t here for you. Work is getting in the way of sobriety. I’m going to make a better effort to check in her more often during the day. Sending you big hugs.
Day 142. I hurt my back, now I feel much stronger desire to drink than I have in a while. Last time I had bad back pain is what nudged me back to drinking every day. It’s tempting as an an aesthetic. Then I end up wanting it even when the original pain gets better. Trying to get through but it feels hard tonight.
Thank you. Not a selfie type post for me… it was the first picture i had taken for years which showed a genuine happy face. I may have relapsed but i have learnt and i could see it. So had to share… need to find a river every day
)with my lil boy, continued on home DIY which I have started 4 months ago at the time relapse began 
…and after all heard alcoholic voice ‘you deserve it, get it, drink it.’ Managed today to put this voice away. Grateful it is a bath and bed time. Day two behind me and hopefully will keep adding more.
