How did I miss this shame on me. Awesome work., 
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Day 1 again for me. Why do I let this nasty disease get the better of me? I wake up each morning after telling myself never again, and yet here I amā¦saddened.
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Yep! I relate to this soooo much. My mother in law is completely engulfed in her ego. It has taken over her. The mornings I sit with her and drink coffee its such a struggle to climb out of this negative cloud she is under. She complains about every one in the house so I know when I am not around she is complaining about me. Of she talks about the most negative news. Even if you are in the other room she still talks to herselfā¦ all negativeā¦ and I know its just her ego. I wish she could be free and I wish It didnt effect me but its some strong energy. I have to avoid it and not take it personally. I need to learn to set boundaries!
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Thanks Conor 
means a lot
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Thank you Salty, me too 
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Day 110
Missing a lot of posts, but cannot keep up.
Crazy week last week at work. Rode the bike Friday night and went to bed early. Up early this morning to drive to to Charleston. Nothing is open, but quiet CHS is nice.
it is approx. 60F today, so doing a ton of walking and will take out dinner tonight.
Hopefully everyone has a great and sober Saturday and weekend!!!
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keep believing and it will come. I promise.
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Rolling into day 14, canāt deny Iām a little bit happy. just finished work and itās definitely a cold beer day. So Iāll have rubicon and ice cream.
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Checking in sober on day 23.
Yesterday evening I found out I have an infection around my jaw. Hurts like a MF. Usually Iām not a big fan of painkillers, but right now itās helping me through the day. Iām gonna visit an emergency dentist tomorrow morning, hoping heāll just be opening it up so that way I can get some relief and visit my own dentist on Monday. Have been in bed for most of the day. Ate something just now and this situation makes me realize my caffeine addiction is just as real as any other. Mentally, I feel a bit unstable lol. One day I feel fine and the next I feel like shit. But Iām still clean and very grateful for that.
Just trying to live in the moment, telling myself this too shall pass.
I asked my father for some financial help today, which was really hard but he was happy to help so Iām glad I did. I thought it would be good practice for me and I probably wouldnāt be visiting the dentist tomorrow without his help, so yay for me. 
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Oh indeedy my friend, we gotta work it or it works us, GETTING STRONGER 
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fucking love you dude
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heāll never know how great I think he is, he stays sober he posts and heās gone, just like that. legend @SoberGuyUSA
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mate Iāve got nothing but respect for you. Rule number 1 is keep it simple not run on like me all day. 
Day 165. Happy to be here. Tired right now but sober.
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Day 141
Talked to my friend in the hospital, well sort of, only understood about a third of what she said. I was so worried she was asking a question or saying something meaningful and I didnāt catch it. I wish I could sit and hold her hand or something, using video chat means we have to talk continuously and she is not up to it. Those of u who lost close family members this way have my deepest sympathies. Sometimes I wish this dragging out would just end, then feel guilty that I am essentially wishing my friend to die, although of course that is not it, I just want the slow degradation to end. My daughter video-bombed the chat, and it was so moving to see her use all her strength to smile and wave to my daughter, she is such a giving person right up to the end. Donāt want to run away from the sadness tho, want to honour her by feeling it properly.
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I lost my work. Self employed.
So I guess working on aniexty and anger.
Finding something else that can take away those or reduce the feelings. I have the Calm app and I do that daily but it just isnt enough.
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Not a stupid long post at all @MrCade. Iām so sorry for your loss but happy you were able to make ammends. I hope the newcomers take the time to read your post. You have overcome so much in life and remained sober. You are a true inspiration to everyone in and out of recovery. If you know which prison, please share with us. Iād like to research and find out if we can send stuff to you. Keeping you and your family in my prayers. 
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