It’s a tough lesson, but a lesson that we’ve all had to learn at some point. I need constant humilty. The reminders that a temporary escape from reality sends ripples through out life. Numbing to take the edge of reality makes being present an exhausting and nearly impossible endeavor.
Once we can relate to how we are in the two different modes of living we begin to hunger for the more spiritual path because there’s real joy that nourishes us. Addiction is like trying to quench that spiritual thirst with saltwater.
1 Like
Sup bro…
Just a word would be enough…
I send you love
1 Like
nothing is up really, took some time off the recovery wagon and gonna get back on. one day at a time. I’m still happy with my sober to drunk ratio in life, this time might be the last relapse but TBH if I only ever get the point of very rarely drinking that’s nearly all the batlles won but never the war. I’ve always been more of a warrior, never the king.
9 Likes
Gefeliciteerd Menno! 
1 Like
Checking in day 19. Weekend 10h shifts complete and looking to have nice sleep as going back to work at 5.30am.
Congrats each of you achieved another day of sobriety.
9 Likes
262 Days. I had a big “to do” list this weekend and didn’t put a dent in it. I started feeling guilty. But getting nothing done and staying sober is still better than getting it all done and going to bed wasted. Tomorrow’s another day to work on that list.
Congrats to @anon79808082! 1 week is amazing! I’m so happy you came back.
Yay!! Congrats on a full week @Tara99!! Your hard work is paying off.
Woo hoo! @Girlinterrupted is back to double digits!!
Congrats on 1 month @RX24!! That’s still my favorite milestone. Everything became so much clearer.
I love watching everyone’s growth. Whether you’re on day 1 or 1000, we all have that same goal of getting to bed sober. ODAT.
19 Likes
Day 193.
Today I had a shit day. I have barely slept the last few days thanks to the heat in my room.
I’m tired, I’m stressed because my school year is coming to an end and I still have lots to do because of Corona, a lack of discipline and a 10 week rehab(grateful for the latter). Also very stressed about my stepdad being in such poor health. I discovered a couple days ago he may have fucking cancer, something new to the mix. He already was terminally ill, but if he has cancer, it probably won’t be a year until he passes.
Also just got a new job that is very unorganized, they called in Tuesday to ask if I could work Wednesday. I’m not flexible like that, I have autism.
I just decided to binge watch modern family. Ive had a lazy day, staying away from my stepdad so I didn’t have to see him in pain the entire time(I know that might make me seem super evil, but I asked him for permission and he understood).
I hope this day helped me relax and get rid of a bit of the stress so that tomorrow I can properly focus on school.
@Mno congrats on a year maat
15 Likes
Day 4 sober. Being distracted and absent minded today. I need to focus and to live each moment and not to try my best to avoid it
11 Likes
One year. Thanks so much for all the love and congrats I got from you all today. It means a lot.
For me it really started a year ago when I hadn’t drank for ten days or so. After being in the bar and not drinking there I thought let’s get a bottle of wine. I took it home and drank it. It didn’t take me very long. Finished it before midnight. I thought well that wasn’t very special. I might as well really quit this time. So I did. It really wasn’t more complicated than that and I think that’s actually one of the keys to my success in staying sober so far.
One year later I’m proud and very happy I quit when I did. I think I would not be alive had I gone on drinking. Still these last weeks have been really hard. Stuff that happens hits me hard. Both in the world at large and in my own little one.
So much of my own feelings, emotions, ways of being and ways of handling stuff I don’t understand. So much frustration, so much unhappiness, so much anxiety and stress. Having to face all this unfiltered, sober and clean. It’s hard.
Part of my stress in the last weeks has been this milestone coming. I didn’t even understand that until now. I feel huge relieve. Being praised and getting attention is OK for me I guess, but the prospect of getting praise and attention is totally abhorrent. I don’t understand myself at all in this respect, and in many more.
So much work to do. Being sober is just the start. And a year of sobriety is just the start. It’s an absolute prerequisite to make any progress though. For me and for all of us here. I’m a work in progress. Yay for that!
I’m on my own road. 12 Step programs weren’t for me. Yet. They still might one day. I feel too much distance in groups, and too much closeness at the same time. I need to work on feeling less isolated from the rest of humanity first I feel. And I just took the first steps that might take me there, getting thoroughly diagnosed and being referred to a thorough therapy that might work for me.
Talking Sober works for me right now. Being online gives me a bit of distance between me and the world. For me that’s safety. Being able to retract into my own shell when I need to feel safe. And still feeling the connection and togetherness that I crave and need at the same time. Being together as good as I can be right now. And working on getting better at being together and being more connected. You all will never know how much I owe all of you. In my heart forever. All of you. Thanks so much. On we go. Onward and upward. One day at a time. It’s not a bad place I’m in right now. Love from my place.
28 Likes
Yes. I agree. My last slip up with the klonopin was so insidious. I thought I could handle it and told myself it was a mental “vacation” from my fiance who never stops talking and never stops yelling at me and nagging me 24/7. I live each day with so much hate in my heart. The running and yoga only helps so much and I fell off that wagon. I really need to reevaluate this situation I am in. Seems like I have a lot more work to do than I thought.
3 Likes
Day 29 begins in few hours closing in on that 30 day like a sniper lol been so longgggg so overdueeeee please let this be it I’m so hungry for this need to finally breathe thanks good luck everyone
9 Likes
I’m about to start day 29 so I guess we’re both in this battle good luck man we made it this far so we both must be hungry for this. I’m still sleepless at times and no energy and bouts of anxiety but it’s nothing compared to the beast of active addiction so I will carry on let’s do this
6 Likes
Hey, sorry to hear that you’re struggling with that. Trust me, I have been there and still visit crazytown on occasion. Family stuff is never simple. Be careful about making quick decisions while in early sobriety. It’s truly amazing how the relationships around us start to change and improve when we really start to dig in to working recovery. Do your best to focus on your recovery and don’t let anyone or anything stand in the way.
If you need us, we’re here.
3 Likes
I 1000% resonate with this. I’m getting so close to 365 myself and I’m already asking myself “great, but now what?” Hence, my challenge to eat a raw clean vegan diet as a way to detoxification. It’s interesting how the milestone causes so much further Introspection but even more interesting in how those feelings manifest.
8 Likes
That’s a great thought Shay. Like how can I get even better?! I like that!
2 Likes
Sorry to hear about your step-dad and his health issues. That is super stressful. Take care of yourself and do your best each day. Even with school take it one day at a time. 
Hang in there.
1 Like
Day 125. I dont check in much when my girls are here…it was a good with weekend with them, and then I did a bike/hike. I don’t buy them often, but today I got some a.f beers just… I know for sure I’d never be able to drink actual beers bc of just the way I drink the a.f, I’ll only drink like three of them, but I pound them in a couple minutes. That’s how I always drank. I didn’t even taste beer, I drank it as fast as I could and my mission was to get as fucked up as I possibly could. But I’m glad I can still realize this, bc my mind still does try to say it’s ok you can drink mike you won’t let yourself get that way again… Haha fuck you unconscious mind
14 Likes
What I am being taught in my mindfulness practice is that being mindful about NOT being mindful is all part of the practice/training
Watch it go. Bring it back. Over and over and over…
2 Likes