Yes! You say it perfectly. Despite the wrestling match in my head after my work day yesterday, I was so glad by the time I went to bed that I wasn’t in a fog…
Day 3? I can’t compain! Another super busy day at the desk, but not as much stress. I made plans with a pal in another city, we got tickets to a live online zoom concert - African drumming! It was fun and energetic. But as I’m in an earlier timezone, I danced around my kitchen making chili and sipping my soda water, reminding myself how good it will feel to remember this clearly tomorrow.
Sometimes I have a wave or two of guilt about how I’ve lived, who I’ve been - the time wasted, the avoidance of being present… but if I stay in that place too long, I’ll probably want to use “the old ways” to get out! I want to own my actions, but not shame myself… Does that make sense? To you or anyone else?
Thank you, my friend, for your reply - and encouraging me to “power up”! I hope you are well on your way to a solid Day 5!
Yep, I have scared myself thinking about this same scenario… that someone (my dog) so dear to me might not be able to depend on me to provide the care she needs - not that she knows that, she just continues to trust! Another win for sobriety for sure. And I hope your dog is just fine…
@Mno, it might be worth the travel, jou can see and feel hoe the groupsafety is and hoe jou feel about it yourself. If it all is well i’d say go tot it instead of the long wait. Its an oppurtunity 2 have a choice… of you not go, and dont feel happy or safe in the other group you’d be sorry. @Four2020 go attack them days ! @jjcarson92 almost half a year! You got this. @LuluJo imma contact you soon and will be trying to sneak cake recepies @SoberWalker@Flamestar , Claudia & maartje, hoe is het met jullie ? @Girlinterrupted, beth… are you holding up… you in my thaughts. @Becsta , loving your posts and contribution 2 the forum, had to be said!!! @ifs James, up for 600 days bruv !! Almost there
And proud @Lisa07
Me checking in 256.5
Easy and steady but feeling lonely and beïng dependant on others ( wich sometimes dont hold there promises) really gets to me at this point. Id never thaught id say this, but i really mis my home… eventhough the bad things that happened there and the trauma behind.
I hope to be fit to travel in 10 days from now but thats not up die me to decide.
The world works in mysterious ways so i let mystery be my guest… embrace the troubles and hold every Nice moment in good care of my thaughts.
Quiting nicotine with champix, maybe thats why imma bit depressed. But i will get there .
Day 8 today im loving being active on here with all you lovely people I’m still in lockdown and have no work until July 4th so my days alone can be quiet long… on the positive it means I can keep connected to my friends in recovery and it really does lift me … I’m so greatful to everyone here helping and supporting me God bless you all x x x x x
20 days you guys, 20 days. It feels awesome and a lot better than yesterday I wish y’all a wonderful day. And thank you for being here in our ups and downs.
Day 130. I feel good and happy and at the same time on edge or idk exhausted maybe. I really didn’t exercise to crazy this week and each day I exercised I was just feeling foggy and fatigued, been eating ice cream alot the last couple of days so maybe that’s the reason. The mind chatter meditation helped Weds night and then yesterday evening I was in my mind all day and snappy at my girls. I geuss I’m not as snappy as when I was drinking tho idk. I’m happy and sad and frustrated I geuss lol is what it is, I’ll come out if it stronger keep pushing
Dreaming weird last three days, not really bad but just awsomly weird and strange things. Almost lucide dreaming as if im living then. Then i wake up and think… huh… where did the circus and his clowns gone absurd… and also a bit depressed but that could also be becouse of the surgery, recovering and the boredom with it that the combi makes me a bit down.
But ill get there !!!
Happy to be back counting in months. So humid today I could barely gently jog a few minutes without pouring with sweat and feeling knackered. My husband actually asked if I’d taken a shower after I got home because my hair was so wet. Delightful.
Soooooooooo with you! This isolation, as you know, has gotten the best of me. It’s not easy. Drinking made it exponentially worse. Hang in there. I’m with you, so jealous of those who get to go into work.
15.29 Days. Feeling a bit more level headed, but a deep sadness still lives in me. My obsession with dying seems to have lifted which I guess is good. I have my second therapy session later this afternoon, I’m looking forward to it. Not too much to say today.
Day 2 sober. Rested. Although the first days I struggle a lot with moodiness and anger, but I know is because I don’t accept myself and what I have done
ride. Sober and clean. Have a good Friday all. Love from Amsterdam.
imma contact you soon and will be trying to sneak cake recepies 
I wish y’all a wonderful day. And thank you for being here in our ups and downs.
and. consequently lost some sleep 
heck yea girl. Have a good day
