Day 58 changed to 0. I am not proudly sober anymore. Devil was stronger than me. Thought I am strong enough to go through it myself. No other way to control my addiction than join a group of people who will teach you sober life. Depression is killing me at the moment.
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Keep coming backā¦ we are here to help and listen and support you. Dig deep. You can do this. 
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Glad youāre back, try to relax if you can. Youāre no different than alot of us here, Rad. My last one out was after 52 daysā¦
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And I will be standing right beside you, with same reaction! Thank you for believing too 
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Hang in there. You are back now. Donāt look back. Concentrate on the now. Try journaling or meditation it may help with the depression. Make a goal to get outside in the fresh air and clear your mind at least once a day. Sending you positive energy and strength.
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You, your # of days, your cycling everywhere, your amazing grin (it was captured on camera!) are a huge inspiration for me! Just sayinā 
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I havenāt really used this thread and now after my last relapse, Iāve decided to join in the daily checking in fun. Today is day 2 for me. I tend to be a chronic relapser. Iāll do pretty good for about 40-60 days and then eventually I give in. I use for a while, then I decide that kind of life sucks and I go through the withdrawals and clean myself up for a while then go back again. Itās a pattern that Iām sick of, and honestly itās part of the reason I join this community. So today is kind of hard for me because Iām changing the pattern. Iām not going back for more after giving in. Iām sure that the feeling will fade over time, but for right now itās pretty uncomfortable.
@Apes2020 Congratulations on your 90 days!
@anon79808082 Wow thatās a ton of rain! Is that where you are now? I hope youāre safe!
@Dolse71 You can do this Paul. You havenāt lost as long as you keep trying.
@Rad You got 58 days. Thatās a win. I wonāt pretend I know exactly how youāre feeling, but I know how hard it is when you feel the weight of depression pressing down on you and it can feel like there is no point anymore to trying to be sober if you feel so terrible while doing it. Just know that weāre here for you on your journey, no matter how many bumps there are in the road.
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It didnāt last all day, maybe an hour or so.
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- Coffee. Quick early check in as I have a little bit of preparing to do for work today. Have a good day all. Sober and clean. Love from Amsterdam.
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Alcohol Sobriety is going strong. I reset my mindful eating / cook processed food counter yesterday. Started over indulging on junk food after I snuck some cooked foods in over the past 1.5 weeks or so. Iām resetting with the intention to make my health a priority. I canāt go backwards with food. Just laying it out there for accountability purposes. I regret my ācheat dayā 2 weeks ago because it put me down a slippery slope. Grateful for the progress Iāve made regardless.
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I am here 3 days sober off alcohol and periodically would use x pills but yes it has been rough but I am pushing through. Looking forward to tomorrow
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Welcome, Marie! Keep checking in here on this thread daily, as often as you need. There are people all over the world on this forum, so usually someone is awake and nearby if you need to reach out. Read around all over the forum too - it does wonders to beat the cravings!
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Identifying those thought patterns can be really useful - this is a version of a resource sheet I got through CBT.
So how about, instead of I need to find enthusiasm for life - Iām not feeling great at the moment, but thatās ok (forgive yourself, remove pressure from how you should feel). Things will change. In the meantime I will do this activity (take a bath, have a lie in, go for a walk, meditateā¦) which will at least give me a temporary break from how Iām feeling.
- Iām not saying this is right for you, but thatās the kind of thing that would help me take the pressure off. Your reframe, opening up opportunities for yourself, reminding yourself what you can choose to do, is also really great!
You might be able to self refer for online CBT - see https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/find-a-psychological-therapies-service/ or chat to your GP.
Mental health is a very personal thing and there is no right way of doing it, but these are some resources I have found useful:
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helplines/
And
Itās a journey, not a destination! 
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Fabulous!
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Congratulations truly amazing
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How are you doing today?
Weāre all rooting for you.
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Congratulations @purr! A full year is amazing. I hope you get the chance to celebrate your awesome success.
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Day 623. Depressed.
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304 Days. Officially 10 months. I went to my nieceās 13th birthday and thereās alcohol which didnāt bother me. However, they proceed to give my daughter wine. It was only a small amount and she is of legal age to drink but thatās not the point. Sheās not responsible enough to make that decision on her own. She has special needs and I do everything for her. She canāt tie her shoes, yet my sister in law thinks itās ok that she drinks. Really?! Wtf is wrong with this world. This is my husbandās family and he had to work so he wasnāt there. I didnāt wanna disrespect my niece at her party so I politely left right after cake, without discussing the incident. I will be having a chat with my sis in law tomorrow.
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