Day one for me too. Moderation didn’t work again. FML. We can do this. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
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Oh how I hate to hear you’re struggling. Come here and share lots until it passes. The thoughts leading you back to your old ways are deceitful lies. Sending you strength 
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nothing seems to change for long, it’s like being stuck in a loop, it’s either keep running and go round in circles or get stuck at the bottom.Let’s keep tryin 
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We need to run in a different direction and get off the track. 
don’t be down. The only way is up, it’s not over til it’s over you know that, I once thought you were lost but look how wrong I was that your still here and a huge part of the community, with that kind of example I’m sure I’ll be OK.
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Oh snap! Thanks, I think. 
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101010
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It’s so ingrained in the way I think about things, I dont even realise im doing it. I didnt see that as self critical until I read it back. So a different framing of “I need to get some enthusiasm for life back” could be “There’s loads of things I can do to get my enthusiasm for life back”? Maybe that’s not quite it, but it’s better at least.
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Day 20. And finally the sun shines here.
I’ve been so focused on not caving to cravings when things are emotionally hard, but got caught off guard today. Was getting things done, indoors and out, in a good mood.
Heading home from errands I saw most of the neighbourhood sitting on their balconies or lighting bbq’s in their yards - could almost hear the sound of bottles being opened…
I am going to have to be vigilant so that I don’t cave in on days like today, almost out of ambivalence. To tune out the voice that says “eff it. look how productive you’ve been. you’ve proven you can go without - almost 3 weeks. it’s normal to have a cold cider on your patio garden.” Wrong. Not normal for me.
I didn’t even get home; I turned the car around and headed to the store, picked up the ingredients for my favourite fruit-flavoured sparkling water (yes, NA) and a big bouquet of fresh flowers to take the edge off… 
Big hugs to @Jennajen - you are dealing with a lot, be gentle on yourself and reach out when you need to. Never be embarrassed of tears, at least around me…
@Steak please don’t stop checking in. Do what the others say here - play the tape forward. You started this because you want to be sober, and you’re sober. You can get through this - please keep reaching out.
Big shout out of glee to @Apes2020 on 90 days, @Travis92 on 7 days, @anon79808082 on new coffee pots with timers (the small things!), @MrsOdh for making a camping trip mishap into dining room fun, @Natnat for new sponsor and upward momentum! @Girlinterrupted for all the amazing stuff going on in your world - you not only deserve it, you’ve earned it. Your therapist even said 
Welcome @Lesliekayla1 and @Lucasarillious. This is a special group of super supportive humans on this forum, and I wouldn’t have 21 days without 'em.
Big love to all - wishing you peace, wherever you are at in your journey,
M 
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Omg i wanna get this
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Day 58 changed to 0. I am not proudly sober anymore. Devil was stronger than me. Thought I am strong enough to go through it myself. No other way to control my addiction than join a group of people who will teach you sober life. Depression is killing me at the moment.
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Keep coming back… we are here to help and listen and support you. Dig deep. You can do this. 
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Glad you’re back, try to relax if you can. You’re no different than alot of us here, Rad. My last one out was after 52 days…
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And I will be standing right beside you, with same reaction! Thank you for believing too 
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Hang in there. You are back now. Don’t look back. Concentrate on the now. Try journaling or meditation it may help with the depression. Make a goal to get outside in the fresh air and clear your mind at least once a day. Sending you positive energy and strength.
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You, your # of days, your cycling everywhere, your amazing grin (it was captured on camera!) are a huge inspiration for me! Just sayin’
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