Day 673
Life is giving me challenges…
Last sunday we went for a holiday to Germany with our 3 kids. That evening my oldest son got problems with his blatter, we thought a urinary inflamation. Next day it went bad. His back hurts and he started vomiting. The pain increases fast. We went to a German doctor, then to ER. They took him in and gave him a bed. He has kidney stones. Maybe he needs a surgery
So fingers crossed please!!
This is going to be a vacation we won’t forget quickly
day 222! I’ve actually had a really good couple of days. I think it’s because I hung out with one of my friends on Saturday, and after a conversation with him my eyes opened to a lot of things I’d been missing in my life. hoping it keeps going for the rest of the week!
Back here for the millionth time…day 34. Feeling defeated, overwhelmed, depressed, anxious, sad, very sad, and just flat out unhappy. The choices I made while intoxicated have ruined everything. Ruined me. Every minute of every day is a struggle. I am tired. My heart is broken. My brain won’t rest.
Welcome back @MissJules this is a good place to vent. One day at a time, one hour at a time, even one breath at a time. It takes what it takes. Congratulations on your 34 days that is a big deal. Be kind and gentle to yourself and remember easy does it.
This is what you have to look forward to in sobriety. This is called the “promises” in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous. p 83, 84
(These promises will come true if you work for it.)
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us-sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
It’s good you are here Missjules. I’m glad to see you. This place is perfect for venting. And for mending. You got a full month of not being intoxicated already in the bag. That’s progress. You’re here sharing. That’s progress too. Hang with us, keep sharing, support, be supported. Together we’re strong lady. Hugs.
Coffee. Going for my covid test soon. A Dutch style testing street has been made in a big congress centre in town. No need to lock my bike outside. That’s good. Little bit nervous but it’ll be OK. My throat is still sore but not that bad. I’m tempted to take my road bike and go for a ride after but I’m supposed to go straight home after the test and stay there till the result is in. I’ll comply. Luna likes me home. Have a good day all. Sober and clean. Love from Amsterdam.
@SoberWalker Thinking of you and your son Claudia. Kidney stones are not nice (understatement) but after treatment he should fully recover. And indeed he has a nice view
@SoberWalker My thoughts are with you and your family. Kidney stone pain is unimaginably bad. I hope your son can pass them without surgery. Either way I hope he is on the mend soon.
I’ll get a call with the result within 48 hours. And no, masks are not mandatory here, only in public transport (which I’m not supposed to take). Distancing is more important they say over here.
It’s hard to admit the problem I have. I sneak to the liquor store and buy 3-4 shooters, drink them on the way home from work, and then spend the evening with my wife and kids. They are my everything. I’m not sure what drives me to drink as my family is so beautiful and loving, I have a great job, great friends, and am overall a pretty healthy individual. I think I have always had an addictive personality whether the addiction is a good one (exercise) or bad (drinking). I have come on this forum many times, posted few, and relapsed many. It is 2:30am right now and I can’t sleep thinking about my excitement on how tomorrow will be another day 1. I want this time to be different. Correction, I need this time to be different. Dig down deep and do this for my family. I appreciate any support given on this forum. I am amazed I found a truly active community to go on this adventure with.
Day 624. Still struggling with the depression but I’m starting to have better moments, though it’s weird, actually. Like a low key tug of war. Just barely getting out of bed, after a fight Nailing morning routine like a dream and heading out to work Walking away from my bus at the exchange, not contacting anyone at the farm to explain my absence, “fuck it” doing errands on the way back and eating a proper lunch, which has not been happening recently in general letting my day get sucked into a black hole and continuing to procrastinate responding to messages because I don’t have energy or know what to say went for a walk, tidied room after having neglected it for weeks, started reorganizing it as well, continuing late into the evening.
Just barely getting out of bed, after a fight
Nailing morning routine like a dream and heading out to work