Checking in daily to maintain focus #15

Here’s to your full jump year anni @purr! Huge congrats! As well as on passing your exam! Enjoy your pastry, you have most certainly earned it. looking yum! Have a great rest of your day friend.

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Day 25 sober. I don’t have good internet connection this days but I am enjoying to be with my family and almost no cravings. I have to fill my heart of this days and be grateful

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Haha she’s very loved. I really wasn’t even mad. Which is surprising bc I’m a grouch when I’m still half asleep

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Keeping you and your son in my thoughts and prayers @SoberWalker. It must be difficult for you, not being allowed to visit him. :pray: :heart:

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Double digits 10 days sober using SMART online meetings regularly almost day to day. Wen I woke up I felt hungover for a split second then I jumped up and did stuff I needed to do and it went straight away…strange

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Well done and congrats on 6 months @Pink31!

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I’m dying :joy: such a great pun

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Crossing fingers that he does not have celiac disease. It’s not fun! But at least he knows what bothers his stomach. I never got a diagnosis but I know that my skin clears up when I quit gluten. But it’s a pain in the arse I tell ya :smiley:

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I had to bc my last dermatologist told me “It’s rosacea, avoid the sun! You must protect your skin with sunblockers!” And I did but always had bad flareups. Since last monday when I was at the dermatologist I love to be in the sun again! And guess what: my skin is okay with it :+1:

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Second check in. This is where I was tested for covid just now. As you can see no huge crowds there. Still the news today is worrying. The number of new cases doubled in a week here. Too many people all around Europe are not adhering to the rules any more. Too many tourists in town and too many Dutch going on holidays too. Social distancing is forgotten by enlarge. If we’re not very careful we’ll be back where we were just 2 months ago. Well at least I’m sober and clean. One thing less to worry about. Love.

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Day 159~ Started the day off with a walk around our local reservoir and did some yoga and meditation. Physically feeling awesome. :muscle:t3: Haven’t had any urges to drink in a while but I know that pesky devil is always lurking around waiting for me to cave… not today buddy!

Emotionally I’m still a bit of a wreck. I don’t know what the hell is going on lately but my emotional energy has been off the freakin charts. Might be time to cut back something’s/people that are emotionally draining and cloud my positive thoughts… the toll it’s taking on my mind and heart is just too much. I need to continue my path of self appreciation and love in order to heal and grow. This to is just another lesson on this journey… sometimes I’m just to open and to willing to allow others in. I need boundaries and need to stick to them. It’s such a hard thing to do but I know it’s necessary. Much love :v:t3::heart::blush:

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Right on!! Or to offer a ‘why’. It is perfectly acceptable to simply say No. :heart:

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All I’ve known are smokers because I’ve lived with them my whole life and it seems cool in the moment but once I think about it, its disgusting and causes a lot of damage that i dont want to go through

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Jumping in here on Day 60, have a great day.

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I’ve been reflecting a lot on the idea of powerlessness. In particular the phrase “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol”. That’s a tough pill for me to swallow. That’s a real blow to my pride and ego, to admit that something got the better of me and that I can’t overcome it on my own.

I can easily subscribe to the idea that I’m powerless over alcohol once I put it in my system. I’ve proven time and time again, that once I start drinking I can’t control the quantity or when I’m going to stop. I admitted that truth to myself years ago. But I would’ve liked to hold onto the idea that, I alone, could simply have the will power to just never drink again.

Looking at it objectively, the powerlessness goes way beyond when it’s in my system. I didn’t really drink until I was 21 and living on my own. My parents and my Church put the literal fear of God into me not to drink in my younger years. Once I did start drinking though, I remember immediately having the thought of “Oh, This is what’s been missing. This is what’s going to get me through the rest of my life.” I’d found that “thing” that made me feel comfortable, confident, happy, and carefree. From day one, I let alcohol become my savior and I didn’t even put up a fight. I welcomed it with open arms. I invested in the promise of alcohol, hook, line, and sinker. I gave my soul to it. That’s powerlessness.

Like I said, it’s been years since I’ve fooled myself into the idea that drinking was safe for me. I know that for me to drink, is to ensure chaos and destruction in my life. I know it will cause me to blow off work. I know it makes me angry and volatile. I know it causes me to withdrawal mentally and physically from my life. I know it removes my inhibitions and allows me to more easily cross moral and ethical boundaries. I know it brings depression, anxiety, shame, and suicidal ideation. Despite all of that information and despite experiencing the consequences time and time again, I’d still get to a point where I could convince myself that I didn’t care about those consequences and I’d go for the ride anyway. That’s powerlessness. Most normal people have consequences and then quit repeating the behavior that caused it. I still couldn’t simply tell alcohol “No” even when I knew it would ruin me.

I’ve been thinking about this, because I’m trying hard to embrace the idea accessing help and guidance outside of myself. If I’m honest, I’ve always been doing that with alcohol anyway. I’ve always been looking to something outside of me to bring me peace. Now I’m trying the same thing, I’m just looking to a healthier alternative. I’m looking to a fellowship of people who’ve remained sober and have a guideline for how to do so. I’m looking to do my best to adhere to a standard of living (Higher Power) that will hopefully satisfy the same needs that I’ve been seeking to satisfy with alcohol. I may be powerless to alcohol, but I’m not powerless to making the choice to access help in overcoming it. :pray:t2:

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That’s right, our Gouvernment doesn’t really have the authority you sometimes could wish for. And most people actually does listen when they do recommendations or something like that, because it’s rare. But then we have people like the guy who was here today, his cornbread clearly isn’t done in the middle (or at all I guess)

Sweden doesn’t have a huge population and it’s relatively easy to keep a distance especially out on the countryside, but because of the vague guidelines some people thinks we’re out of danger here. But that’s far from the truth.

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Day 364. Ready for next week’s staycation. Lots of projects planned, definitely going to put in some longer workouts. Might get wild in the kitchen and try some new recipes. Who knows!

Have a strong day!!!

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Checking in day 2 !

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237 days gamefree
0,70 days tv free
Today was an emotion filled day.
I got out of bed at a decent time.
Constructed a LEGO build.
Listened to some podcasts.
Made a thread based on watching Netflix moderately. Thought said thread was removed without warning. Got angry. Wanted to make a new thread attacking the mods, but luckily I can control my anger nowadays so I didn’t. Did vent in personal thread. Discovered said thread was moved to the seeking help category after it was moved back to a category I can see. Felt stupid after discovering it had nothing to do with mods.
Now off to work.
When I get back I’ll join the TS meeting

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