55.48 Days… It hit me last night that I’m actually starting to show interest in things again. Way back in the day, I was really into storm photography, had a billy badass camera, and would go running out to the beach in hurricanes when I lived in Florida. All in the hopes of getting the perfect pic. I always wanted to catch a water spout. Never happened though, sigh.
Anyway, I’ve decided to pick up the hobby again, and I’m really excited. Not just storm photography, but landscape (cityscape). One of my closest friends is a photographer and she’s going to help me pick out my equipment and teach me a few things. I can somewhat incorporate it into my business as well in a backwards sort of way. Anyway, it feels good to be looking forward to having a hobby. I had not realized I lost complete interest in life. I was a shell of a human.
I’m grateful for therapy, because honestly, I don’t even know who I am. I’m a manifestation of what I think others want me to be. Lots of work to do, but happy to put in that work!!
Funny thing is with me it’s the exact opposite. One of the reasons I do good in crisis situations in my work. Outwardly I remain very calm. And quiet. Comes over as confident and strong. But no one knows what goes on inside…
Thanks for the response friend. I’m not really trying to compare myself to others. Well, maybe just a little bit when I’m honest. Thanks again.
Second check in.
I totally forgot that I get withdrawal symptoms when I stop eating gluten. I’m feeling tired, cold and my intestines are angry.
Meh.
*wraps herself in a blanket
I totally get this. Getting sober allowed me to finally see who I was, what was left after years of drinking, and what I had to work with. Once I got there I starting thinking about who I want to be, and what I need to do to become that person. Sometimes its really hard but it can be really fun aswell. Embrace it when you can, try new things, go back to things you used to love.
Whether I like it or not, at least I know who I am now. That’s a decent start.
A million thanks to everyone who has read my rambling posts, and offered words of encouragement since I got on here. Onward, upward, one day at a time.
and I’m 56 
