Day 10, things have been going pretty good!
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Did some stretching for my hyperkyphosis and checked my body measures bc I was curious. Iām down from a 42 (US size 12) to 40 (US size 10).
I started sports only to get a stronger back and now I get the gift of shrinking 
Have a beautiful sober day friends 
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Checking in sober, Day 197. Yesterday made 28 Weeks! Working on painting my momās house for her, hope to finish a second coat today and re-hang the shutters to complete one side of the project ahead of a chance of rain this afternoon. Have a great day, everyone!
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So glad kitty is okay and just a UTI.
Day 2
On train to london to drop off laptop / mobile etc from job. Once that done will breath deep and start again properly.
Always worked in IT hated it so souless and a trigger for relapse as so much pressure and no reward. I know what i want to do - support work in some shape or form and think i have the empathy for it. Such a change of direction for me. Have signed up for some courses.
Bit excited, be broke, but if my mind right i shall be okā¦ only taking 20 yrs to get here!!
@Mno good luck with testā¦
Have a great day all 
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Day 160~ ughhhh 
my mom always said if you donāt have anything nice to say donāt say anything at all. Iāll leave it at that. No response is a response and a powerful one. Still soberā¦ fighting the fight. 
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Day 42. No stories, just being.
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Thank you ! 
thank youā¦ god its been a strange few months. But pleased to be back.
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Hope sheās ok ! 
Mine is about to have babies for the first time & Iām freaking out on the whole labor part 
lol
Carpal Tunnel is alive and shit.
I suspect I may have some arthritis going on too.
On the bright side, I am finding errors in my work emails, and it makes me happy to know that alcohol was NOT a factor. Couldnāt say that not too long ago. 
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omg! This is me, especially at work, and often with no filter 
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The twists and turnsā¦ just got a call whilst coming home from dropping off work stuff got an interview tomorrow with a homeless projectā¦ so got to be sober! I willā¦
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I do plenty of venting just not todayā¦ well right now. Need to gather my thoughts and feelings first.
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Nearly day 2
In the spirit of āif what you are doing isnāt working, do something elseā I spoke in an online meeting today. I have listened in on a few, but not known how or what to say, and to be perfectly honest, had no idea what people got out of them. Luckily this seemed to be a small pre-meeting meeting (less than 20), and people were using the chat function, so I could message that I wanted to share without interrupting (which I loathe doing). And I totally burst into tears. I was very surprised by my very emotional reaction, to something that I couldnāt comprehend.
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Ahhhā¦cleansing tears. I cried the first time I shared. Totally normal. Well done speaking for the first time! Keep taking it one day at a time. 
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Iāve noticed you have stayed sober for a good bit since being active. If this is helping you Iād say it might be worth sacrifice other things
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So cool 
love it!! 
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There is a strong theme of self reliance that runs through much of the self-help content and an idea that the source of change comes from within the individual. Ultimately, I do think it all has to come from within the individual, but that could look like deciding I need to ask for help and then being willing to accept the help and apply it in my life. I canāt do it all by myself, but I do have to come to terms with that individually.
If Iām honest, Iāve had some confirmation bias going on around self help and recovery. Iād read, listen to podcasts, listen to other folks share their stories here, and then cherry pick the ideas that I liked. Usually that meant leaving out any of the approaches that would involve me being vulnerable to another human being. Itās easy enough for me to type out what Iām feeling or going through on this forum, but itās a different level for me to go to a meeting and share, to have in person conversations with my sponsor, and to call other guys in the program, that I barely know or donāt know at all, and have conversations with them. That scares the shit out of me, because thatās too real. I like to keep people at arms length and be able to retreat into isolation when I need to. Allowing myself to be vulnerable on ANY level, instinctually feels like a lack of control to me and it freaks me out.
I have been doing those uncomfortable things recently though, because itās obvious Iām not resolving this addiction on my own volition. If I couldāve done that, I wouldāve done that years ago, or on any one of the many other times Iād been desperate for recovery. So Iām keeping an open and willing mind and trying to accept the help and guidance that others seem to want to offer to me.
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