I know, right! Doesn’t time fly … apart from the times when it doesn’t 
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Day 12. Went swimming for almost 3 hours until we got some crazy weather. Tired me out. I’ve just been feeling so beat. Thought several times how nice a Cosmo would be with dinner, and that it would only be 1. Yeah right. I ordered extra food and ate as much as I could instead. It was my dads 75th birthday too so we popped in over there for a bit. Happy to say he’s been sober since February 14th, when he was in the hospital a few days. He had lunch at his favorite bar, which has amazing Polish food, and said happily that he drank soda for his free birthday drink bc he doesnt drink anymore. Then asked me if I was drinking, bc he knew I had been, and I said ‘no’ and he said ‘good’. I’m happy that he finally quit. It was killing him. I need to keep going too. And make him proud. Starting to get the feels back. This part sucks but I gotta deal with it. I should get on a meeting. Its been a long time.
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Yay! That’s huge, 
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Thanks Donna!
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Congratulations 
that’s nice and shiny 
keep rocking it!! 
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Thanks Courtney! 
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Only the words because I already have flower tattoos on that arm. I also think the spot makes it more difficult for a flower to look good. And reason number 3 is it’s a difficult flower to tattoo.
But thought about it as well.
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Awesome flower!! So pretty!
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Awesome!!! Congratulations!!
Thanks Brooke!!!
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Day 7 is almost history…on deck is #8
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Just checking in day 23 . Up to work. Have a great day 
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My condolences on the passing of your father in law. May he Rest in Peace. 
Blessings and sobriety!
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So sorry for your loss dear, sending you virtual comfort and strength through this painful time. 
Blessings and sobriety!
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- I had a nice break
still having random drinking thoughts pop into mind but I’m dealing with it ok. I was able to go on a last minute vacation with my family before school starts for my kids and it’s really what I needed. I was getting so jaded about interaction with others, everything was making me bitter and closed off. But I found some reconnection with nature, others, and myself and I feel much more energized with presence. It’s so easy to fall back into my worry, panic, stress mode where everything “needs to be done right now” or “everything needs to be perfect and exactly how I feel it should be done”. But that kind of tension, control, and rigidity is terrible for my mindset.
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Yay! Congrats on 300 days, treat yourself to whatever your heart desires. Keep on stacking them days ODAAT. 
Blessings and sobriety!
@Girlinterrupted I’m so sorry for your loss Beth Covid sucks. But proud of you being sober during this hard circumstances. Take good care of yourself 
@C_8 congratulations with your 300 days!!
My condoleances @Jonachav123, it’s hard to loose someone you love 
Day 700 
And there it is, happy to reach it!
Next milestone 2 years, 1 month to go
Thank you all for making this app work!
This app is @Robin and you all people in it!
#grateful
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Day 49.
Sorry this is so long. I had to get it out. Feeling a bit shaky about things…
Yesterday, last night, my first “vacation test” was arriving and not cracking into something cold.
I tried to prepare myself for today’s test. After six months of covid restrictions, I was able to visit my dear Mom, with dementia, in her care centre. I used to visit her monthly, before covid, and when I did I kept the sharp edges of my grief (Dad’s death, Mom’s decline, etc) rounded – drank just enough to feel a buffer from it all. I would meet friends for a drink (socially acceptable), but often I stayed in hotels instead of with pals, where I could continue self-medicating, which complicated everything about my grief.
Today, it was so good to see her. She is declining so much, and it was hard - but good - to just be present to it all. No buffering. She told me no less than 25 times that she wants to “go” (to heaven) soon, that she wonders why she is still here. Maybe, I thought, it’s so that I get a chance to do this the right way…
Then, she perked up enormously when I got permission to take us out for ice cream. 
I left, driving past the wine market, the craft cider store, and got to my pals – to our plan to walk the dogs in the cooler evening – not knowing I was in for another test. My pal is hardly a drinker, and doesn’t know the extent of my own drinking. I warned her not to stock up on anything, but she greets me with a hug and then offers me a cider in a thermo-bottle for our walk – for the “hard day I had”. There they were – right in front of me. I said “buddy, I can’t” and she looked so hurt. I showed her my counter on the app, something I haven’t told anyone about, and she said something like “yeah, but you can’t have just one? How long is this going to last for?”.
We walked the dogs (away from her family), and I didn’t go into detail but kept to the facts, that while it might not be obvious to others, things had gotten out of hand for me,
that I may actually never drink again, but am just taking it one day at a time. She was supportive but I think still taken aback. If you are still reading this, don’t be hard on her – she just thinks highly of me, and can’t reconcile that this could be a part of my life.
I won’t lie. I really didn’t want two tests today. It’s hard enough to tell the lying urges “look, don’t tell me just one, we both know that’s not true”. I didn’t want to have to convince a friend too.
But nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight…
Going to bed sober, happy with myself but shaky too, and really glad you are all out there and get it. 
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Checking in day 30 ! Woohoo
Thank you all
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