Congratulations!! That’s a beautiful milestone 
Stay strong, odaat 
Well today has been a good day so far. At work for another shift and am enjoying the quiet while my client sleeps. Gives me some time to reflect and even pray. Have been reflecting on my previous clean time from many many years ago when I had 3 years clean and sober (can’t even believe how I managed that to be honest). Trying to remember what I had done to get myself there and why I struggle with my addiction currently. I KNOW i can get some clean time. I have gone through the steps 4 times! I had a sponsor and was a sponsor to other women at one point. I starting living life and enjoying it. I was involved and participated in life! Things are different now but I still can make the best of it. Im just in a very reflective state today. Hope everyone is having a fabulous day! Much 
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Been away from here for a while, was supposed to hit a hundred days tomorrow. I won’t, I was going to write I’m sorry to disappoint y’all and I am. But I’m more sorry that I disappointed myself, I’ve been having trouble to sleep lately. No nightmares but a real fear of sleeping, almost like panic attacks. I’m fine during the days but at night when I’m in my bed I’m shaking sweating, freezing and my heart beats like crazy. Eventually it got to the point where I started to dream about smoking weed when I eventually felt asleep in the early mornings. It’s never been my thing and It’s been years since I ever did that. But I desperately needed something to help me relax. So I turned to the more familiar alcohol, and me who’s always been a happy drunk no matter what lost it and got mean and cranky probably because of the whole situation. It didn’t help, I still can’t sleep. And I’m back on day one.
School starts tomorrow, today I’ve bought myself a new closet with clothes and a new bag, and tomorrow I’m calling a psychologist on recommendation from my psychologist friend who doesn’t really has me as a real patient even if he’s a great help anyway.
There’s no excuse for it and I’m really upset about it, because besides the sleeping troubles life is great. And things are starting to go really great. The boys starts after school club tomorrow, I’m starting school. My husband is doing great at work, and we’re finally getting somewhere with the renovation. I just need to get myself together some more.
I hope everything is good with y’all and that your weekend have been great.
Hopefully I’ll be at the meeting Tuesday.
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Hi , dont be to hard on yourself . Anxiety at night is horrible . But alcohol wil make you feel terrible all day.
You had a little slipp up .its not the end…
I hope you will get some proffesional help real soon
Wish you all the best 
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Checking in on my 81st Sober day to maintanain my focus on my 82nd day to stone cold Sober glorious and free. God bless every one.
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Thank you 
I’m sure it’ll be better from here.
Or at least I hope so.
show off!!!
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just been reading all the great things happening in your life, far more important than a few silly drinks. What’s up my dear did you think this was going to be easy, 
I’m pretty sure that your human like the rest of us. We love you so you love you. It’s like I posted yesterday “just when you think you know everything, life teaches you one more thing”
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Thank you dear
I hope everything is good with you too. I totally missed everything that’s been going on here because I’ve been away for a while. But I’m back to stay. If nothing seriously important shows up I’ll be on the Tuesday meetings a lot more from now on.
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Thank you sweetie. There’s no other way to do it. One day at a time, stay honest, and keep trying
I hope everything is good with you, being back to work and all.
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So my girls just went home. I’m sitting up in my room balling my eyes out. My mind is fucking with me so bad, I know these moments are going to come. But this is really seriously the closest I’m coming to a relapse. I’m fighting like a mother fucker right now, i feel like such a piece of shit. I know drinking won’t solve anything, but my mind keeps telling me it will. I’m sick of yelling at my girls, I keep myself accountable and tell them I’m sorry. But I can’t help but feel like a shitty father after
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hi Mike been a while mate, keep fighting that fight. You’ve come this far so absolutely no point throwing it away today. Next time you have your girls and you want to shout take a deep breath and think, what am I actually annoyed at. We are all to quick to snap at our kids or grand kids, these little people with their own minds and own words and own ideas and actions that for some reason aren’t the ones we want them to have. Maybe if we just stop for a second they might not be so bad after all. You wait until they are teenagers bc your on your own then mate, admit defeat and run for your life.
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Mike hang on my friend. You are so strong. This is an urge and will pass. Don’t be so hard on yourself… we all yell at our kids. You are a good dad. Dig deep…
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I love this idea - thank you 
Usually I write a to do list but it looks like a list for a week instead of a day, but if I actually just put down what I will do in a day in the order I do it - like you’ve done - it makes it so much more obvious what a person can realistically get done in only one day.
Also, even though it’s better now, there are still days where I have impulses (it’s wine o’clock!) at certain times, based on habit. This will help me plan around those in case they come lurking…!
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@MrsOdh Learn from what happened and it can actually be a good thing. In a way. You came right back here, you are straight and honest, that’s brave and strong and good. I don’t know if I’d have that in me. I’m happy to see you. Onward and upward. Hugs.
@anon60334405 I’m not a dad but I know how hard it is. I know you do your utmost and I also know that’s not always enough. Comes with being a parent. Please hang in there. Hang with us, or with your sponsor, or with anyone you can put some trust in. Don’t give in.
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Hello everyone. I am new on here and not sure how to create a post. Can someone explain how to please?
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Awe… Sophia. I’m so sorry to read about your relapse. That lack of, or hard to get to, sleep can be a real anxiety inducing problem. The harder you try the worse it gets. Drinking and smoking weed never really helps. I know you know that. “Like a child we keep on learning”. I’m so glad your back. I always love reading your posts. My wife always uses a white noise machine to help her sleep. Plug it in and the sound just does something to her and off to sleep she goes. When I really can’t sleep I plug my ear buds in and do a quiet guided meditation and that works wonders for me. Also reading. I hear your not suppose to read in bed but I start reading my book and no matter how good it is it knocks me out.
Glad your back.
Love and missed ya.
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You just posted Caroline! Welcome to the forum, it’s a great place to find support and meet others who fight the same sort of battles you do yourself (or so I guess).
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