Day 200~ Do you ever feel like you just don’t belong? Growing up I was the youngest of 3 girls the baby… my sisters are 6 and 9 years older than me. I spent a lot of time alone. They were always a step or more ahead in life. I always felt like I was playing catch up. In some ways it made me have to grow up faster than normal and deal with mature things I probably wasn’t ready for. Fast forward I still feel this feeling but with my friends. I got married and had my children young so I was once again not in the same place in life as my peers. Just now people my age (37) are getting married and having kids. It’s sad because it’s really made a rift between my friends and I. It’s like we don’t have things in common. I feel like they are living a life I lived 18+ years ago. It’s a strange feeling. A feeling I know all to well. A feeling of just not connecting or feeling kinda like an outcast. It’s also funny how now that they all have spouses and kids the tables have turned. I always made time for everyone when I had little ones. It just reminds me that life is a journey and people will come in and out of your life. Some will stay forever no matter what and some just make an appearance. Timing doesn’t always match up and learning to accept that is ok. I’m starting to accept the “Shift”.
Day 15: This last couple of weeks have flown by. I’m feeling good about getting my routine back and continuing to work on my safety plan for healthy living, writing a lot and messaging with my therapist to identify triggers for anxiety and depression and ways to cope that are not using alcohol. I have found with depression in particular, there doesn’t have to be one identifiable trigger. I think I have a baseline of low level depression that I’m fighting against. I’m still on the fence about pursing medication because I’m still pretty fresh in sobriety and I need more time to see how that plays out. I am also coming to terms with the fact that I’m a highly sensitive person and learning how to be at peace with things. I read this post from a friend of mine and it really hit home for me. Maybe it will for some of you, too. Oh, and if you haven’t read any of Brené Brown’s books, I highly recommend them! Happy Monday, folks.
Yep. And if the place did crumble without your overtime, there’d be something seriously wrong in the general work management of the place in my opinion.
Thank you dear.
Yes the parental issue is scary. I mean as I said before and like you said as well. We know it’s coming but I guess you’re never prepared for it. My father has always been in good condition too, a little on the heavier side but nothing that affected him. But the older he gets the more issues is showing, I’m aware that he’s soon 70 but it’s still hard to watch.
I can imagine that Alzheimers is even harder because it kinda fades away the person you once had. I hope it turns out to the best for you and your parents too.
Thank you, couldn’t describe it better myself, but that’s exactly how it is. They tend to trigger each other in a bad circle. But hopefully I’ll get it under a little better control soon. I’ve re-arranged the bedroom according to feng shui, I’ll do the wallpapers next month and I’ve managed to get an appointment for a psychiatrist pretty soon. It’s unusual so I suspect that my friend had something to do with it. There’s no other way than forward and trying to stay positive, even if I did relapse I haven’t come this far just to give up. I’ll make the best out of it.
Congrats on 200 days Courtney!!
I get where you’re coming from. I only have 1 close friend left from years ago. All the others had families at different times and our lives never synced up. I’ve made new friends along the way but nothing compares to the past.
Wow Rosa, that sounds great. It’s valuable to learn how your mind and depression work. I have a tendency to fall into depression too, last time was pretty scary. You’re on a good path.
Hi everyone, cheking in on day 84. Back to work tomorrow, a primary school, after lots of weeks off. Going to be very strange after being at home for so long. But will be so nice to see all the tiddly peeps again . Hope everyone is feeling good today
@Edmund you are right… I just get sick of always being there for everyone… it’s nice to have them be there for me for once. @Lisa07 thank you yeah the friend list certainly does shorten as we get older I think. It’s quality not quantity… I tell my kids that all the time.
Hi all, time for me to head to bed, another exciting (!!) day awaits me at the factory tomorrow. Still no news about whether or not I’ll actually be able to go home on Friday, or stay another week (or more), but I guess that I’ll jump off that bridge once I get to it !
Otherwise, all is well… I’m about 15-20 minutes away from 19 days, and things are going all right. There are countless stores around here with alcohol of all kinds, but I really haven’t given it much thought (so much the better).
So goodnight everyone… have a safe and sober Tuesday tomorrow.
in my opinion.
. Hope everyone is feeling good today 
yeah the friend list certainly does shorten as we get older I think. It’s quality not quantity… I tell my kids that all the time. 
