Bit sore and sleepy but otherwise well. Thanks champ.
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You are built of good.
Cool man, if you start tp struggle then get on her straight away! Have some kip!!
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1000 daysā¦ impressive, SuperFin! Keep up the great work.
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Day 29: Wide awake at 2 am! WTF! Ended up getting out of bed and doing some laundry, some writing, some planning for the day. Not feeling anxious, though, not really. Just a lot going on in this olā noggin, I guess. Part of my goal of āclearing the clutterā is both mental and physical. I have a little room that is a glorified closet, but itās my own space for my things in the house. Craft supplies, clothing, personal items, etc. It is also a dumping ground for stuff when I canāt find a spot for it. I plan to start working on this space today - I would like it to be a sanctuary where I can be surrounded by calm and serenity, where I can meditate, journal, and just take a mental break. I already have the rearrangement drawn out on paper, there is just a lot of stuff to go through once things are moved around. I think it will be a therapeutic activity for today.
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Day 246. Amazing chest day. Hit 255 for 3 on bench, 245 for 7 and 225 for 10. Best Iāve ever done yet. I had a awesome battle rope session yesterday,and a great meeting last night. I realized I still really hold alot of resentment towards ppl who seriously donāt even have a part in my life. And I have to think? What is my part in that, itās bc of me that I still hold a resentment, what do I need to do to take care of. It always comes down to fear and insecurities. But being able to be honest with myself and work in the right direction and steps to fixing that is all I can do. Anyways have a good day everyone
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Starting day 9. Rough nightās sleep the last couple nights. Hot and cold, sweats, crazy dreams and to top it off my 2 year old was up a lot. I always think the physical withdrawal is over after the first week but then some symptoms seem to creep back up especially at night and early morning. Iām going to take it easy today for sure. So Iām tired, so what, Iāll manage, I donāt need to find a magic pill to help boost my energy so I can do basic things through my day. My little one will probably sleep a lot this morning and my oldest is doing online school which is starting to look like a blessing now that the mornings are getting chilly. After a rough night itās nice to not have to try to pull it together to be the chipper mommy at school and put on a fake smile while I chat with the other stay at home moms. One day at a time, I keep trying to stay in the moment and live for the day since I have a tendency to look too far ahead. Then I become overwhelmed and once I feel overwhelmed I realized thatās when I relapse. Iām so busy trying to be so many things to so many people and it gets to be too much. Thatās my trigger. So I am working on not worrying about other people so much, my daughters are my main priority. I have a super supportive husband whom I thank God for everyday, without him I donāt know if I would be here today. He pulled me out of a dark place where I was surrounded by dark people who did not have my best interest at heart. Wow I really went on and on this morning 
It feels good to be able to express my feelings rather than trying to search for ways to numb them. Have a wonderful sober day TS folks 
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Thatās really awesome and so true how veterans get shit on. My first husband left the army with severe PTSD that made him violent. He was mandated to therapy three days a week when there, then they sent him home to us with no help at all. Itās very sad. Our veterans deserve way more respect. God bless you for helping her out.
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Almost day 43.
So Ireland is going to move to āLevel 3ā of restrictions, bit of s hit show here at the minute where the blame game is starting between government and medical/science people. Stopped looking at it last night and continued on with watching Angel, still a good show to this day!
Didnāt really sleep but of course my alarm went of at 7am, turned it off then in the blink of a mini sleep the 7:30 alarm went off lol
Have a great whatever time it is where you are 
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Struggling a bit with control issues lately. I canāt understand when people, especially those working for me, donāt have the same work ethic as I do. I tend to be hard on people when it comes to that. Itās just literally impossible for me to understand anything coming before career advancement, including family. Now, I understand thatās a smidge warped, but it makes me angry. Like they put self care first, WTF? We sleep when we die. Soā¦ Iāll be discussing this in therapy this week as I find it making me cranky and I donāt want to take it out on my guys. I really, really, really need help letting this go. It makes me lose respect for them and I guess thatās not fair. However, the disappointment is pretty consuming right now and I need to get it in check.
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Checking in sober and cigarette free 
letting go of the things that I canāt control and trusting in the process. Hoping everyone has one of those days where things just fall into place 
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Good morning! Working on Day 39. Learned yesterday my one remaining living brother may have had a bigger problem with alcohol than he let on when he quit 10 years ago. He made it sound like it was a health decision then. Now, heās laid out a different scenario that alcohol is the family curse. Our other brother died from it directly and our parents indirectly. Genetics is pretty powerful. So glad my son saw what booze was doing to him and said nope! That promoted me to say nope in support and his sister to jump on the wagon too. One brave person can set off a chain reaction of miracles. Be well everyone.
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Good of you to recognize this and want to work on it. I had the same problem awhile back and it was a huge topic of discussion between my then therapist and I. I couldnāt understand why my coworkers thought it was okay to be late every day or why they wouldnāt work when we were at work. I shouldnāt have to ask/tell them to do things, they should just do them! Right? He told me that just because that is my work ethic does not mean it is everyoneās. I had such a hard time wrapping my head around this concept. In the long run it made it easier for me to just focus on myself, my job, and my capabIlities. My company knows Iām a good employee, and now, thatās enough for me. Wishing you well in your endeavor!
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Day 39. I started stepwork on step 1 yesterday. There is a lot more to it than admitting powerlessness and unmanageability. Because That was the easy part for me. Also knowing we are in the grips of a destructive disease, and it wasnāt just some moral deficiency, that is a relief to me! Iām am beyond grateful for my sponsor, my recovery fellowship and of course God for giving me peace. I surrenedered to him first and I know it made all the difference. I havenāt felt peace in my soul like this ever. 
Iām grateful for all of you because we are not in this alone. I hope yāall all have an amazing clean and sober Tuesday! I think we should all be grateful for the small clarities shown to us, think of it like the rain. Thank God it comes down in droplets, not just dumped all over us at once!
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Day counting.
I read all of your posts this morning and sayā¦ wow how amazing recovery is? Look at all the insight those people get from sobrietyā¦ Changing their path, their childās path, fighting the āgeneticā, realizing behaviors, triggers and patterns, accomplishing great things along daily tasks, WAKING UP each day, practicing thoughtful actions and meditation, learning new things, saying goodbye to old relationship, taking care of their health, taking care of their brains, drinking coffee, trying to get better or even just be OK with life, and so much moreā¦
That is amazing to see and read this morning. Everyone here is inspiring in their own way. People wouldnāt even realize how much we work hard and thrive to a better self, searching for meaning through this fight. And itās a good life sober.
It made me think of yesterday, when my gf asked me, after I told her I was 22 days in sober, she asked me āit looks like it is still a lot in your head; your counting days; is it still a lot in your head? do you have hard time with it?ā
My straight answer was: āIt is always in my head. There is always a place for it in my head. Maybe Iām not actively thinking about it, but it is now in my thoughts pattern to pass by this place in my head called recovery. Itās my peaceful place.ā
Is it hard? Depends. Some thoughts, feelings and moment are resourcing and inspiring; and some are ambiguous, heavy, darker. But in the end the outcome is always better than if Iāve gotten through those with booze. I found peace in myself. In between my life and my self. And I am grateful for that!
Hope everyone have a great day,
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Happy Tuesday, everyone! Been busy with work so have missed checking in more frequently (have to work on that). Checking in sober, Day 273, which means 39 weeks! Later this week I officially hit 9 months!!! Have a great day!
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Great that youāve recognised this and are willing to talk about it.
Would you rather have loyal solid people working for you for a long time period or have super efficient guys who burn out after a few years and maybe canāt return to work life in a number or years if at all?
Just a thought that Iām throwing out there 
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Marvelous! Music seems to be relatively untouched by dementia. I know someone who has set up an organisation called āMusic for the Mindā. She was telling me how a manās family were in tears as he sang along to an old song. They hadnāt heard him talk for 8 years!
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The past few years I put no effort into decorating which I love to do for my kids bc my addiction got the best of me. This is my first big holiday sober in a long time and I forgot how great it felt to do this for my kids itās not exactly how I want it yet but Iām proud of myself! 
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