Sometimes a big cry is just what you need. My dad died of pancreatic cancer and I use to burst into tears everytime I walked into a Home Depot for years. We used to do projects together and it just smelled like him you know. Like wood and paint and memories. I’m sorry for your loss and that you’re missing your mom. (((Hugs)))
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Thank you. So sorry to hear of your dad… My mum died of that same evil cancer, just over 6 years ago. Dad’s one year anniversary of his death is two days away, so I’m sure that is playing a role in my emotions (although I’m an extremely overly-emotional person as is lol 
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Thank you. Gosh, I’m lucky to know you, you are such a wonderful soul. I think I get caught in the same old excuses of hubby not thinking I need to quit nor that I should (but I’m smart enough to realize that he has his own selfish reasons for wanting his drinking buddy), that I’m not “that bad” etc… Sometimes I think, why the heck am I here if I’m not ready to say I’m going to quit forever? But then, obviously I’m here for a reason. The toll in takes on my anxiety should be reason enough. Thanks again for your words… you’re right about the numbers, but it’s hard not to focus on them. I’m trying to be proud of how far I’ve come so far, considering when I joined, it was under the intention of a very short-term sobriety goal. But I’m really good at judging myself… but I’m not ready to give up. Hugs right back to you
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I just want to say that I’m really proud of you for the strength to march on sober, it shows how much you’ve grown in your sobriety. Congratulations on 96 days, 4 more and you get the triple D’s. Keeping pushing, sending love and hugs.
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I’m sorry you’re having a difficult day. My dad died about 13 years ago and it still hits me like a truck at the strangest times. I get flashbacks of being in the hospital too, it’s like it happened yesterday. I feel for you 
Look after yourself, enjoy your stew and try to unwind 
I got the Recovery Dharma book yesterday and read up to the first set of questions. I tried going through them but got a bit stuck. It talks about behaviours and I’m not really sure what behaviours it means 
I’ve not tackled my.recovery in this way before so I’m a bit lost, but thats ok. I’m gonna keep reading later, I like it. I can always go back to the questions.
On an unrelated note, my SAD lamp arrived today. Damn near burnt my bloody eyes out!! 
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Each time we fall we learn. Congratulations on having the courage to get back up and fight. Thank you for all that you’ve done for me.
My dad passed from cancer 8 years ago and it still hits me from time to time. I’m very sorry about your mom
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Thank you!! Gah my mind has been playing tricks on me lately for sure!! But you are right that 100 day mark is so close, I know I cant give up.
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Thanks for all your support. No, that pic is my mom and dad. I could never get sober while they were alive. I guess I didn’t want to. In my own way they are kind of inspiring me now to be sober. 
RIP
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Day 32. It’s rainy and gray here as we prepare for another hurricane to blow through this evening. This feels like the longest hurricane season ever. I’m at work, and have managed to do better on the phone this morning: announcing call transfers, not sending anyone directly to voicemail, so that’s good.
I started reading Russell Brand’s book, “Recovery” last night. I’m enjoying it so far, as he goes through the AA steps one by one and discusses how he has worked through them and continues work them every day. It’s exactly what I need right now. It feels like so much of my time and effort these days is spent learning about sobriety, and working on my sobriety, and it can feel frustrating, because at one point, I managed to be sober for seven years before thinking that I could control my drinking and moderate. (Obviously, I could not.) I have to keep telling myself that I am relearning these skills, and I am dealing with the wreckage I created in the 9 years that I decided “I could handle” alcohol. I’m different now than I was at 25, when I got sober the first time. I’m going to have to learn some different things.
In short, I’m trying to be patient with myself, which I’ve never been good at. But I am here, I am sober, and I’m not going to drink today.
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So ever two weeks of work, I get 4 hours of vacation, and sick time put into my account work that accrus so if we are sick. Or ever want to take a vacation we use that time and still get paid
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Congrats on 300. Doing great sir
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So you have 24 days/year? Vacation?
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Yes pretty much. Execpt we get to bid every three months on vacation. So I use it up quickly lol
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Good morning 300 day’s. I know I let the cat of of the bag last night. But…
One lousy day at a time.
“I’m not drinkin today. And I’m probably not drinking tomorrow”
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You’re in the UP, right? I went to college with a bunch of kids from Houghton. Now that we live close again I want to make it up there for some backpacking, hopefully next year. Fun to visit, but sounds pretty tough to live there through Winter.
P.S. Thanks for the congrats yesterday. I wasn’t feeling it then, but I do today and I’m pretty proud! It was a nice gesture on your part.
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No way! I live about 5 miles away from Houghton. You should be proud, this battle we fight is monstrous.
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Seriously though folks. Thank you all for your kind support.
@anon60334405
@Joy
@Girlinterrupted
@Clarity
@anon12657779
@Mno
@Dolse71
@Dan531
@anon74766472
@Figgie
I can’t fit you all in on one post but I’ll start with y’all. Your support is invaluable to my recovery. I really don’t have any other friends to share my 300 days with. So it means a whole hell of a lot. I move around a lot and just don’t make friends like I use to. Not looking for sympathy or anything. It’s just the life I choose. And I kind of like it that way. So it really means a lot.
Blessing to you all in your sober journey.
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I’ll keep you in my heart. It’s very hard. I hope you have some people to lean on.
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We have to do dinner if you make it this way! It would be awesome to meet you
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Thank you my almost sober twin @CapriciousCapricorn you really keep me going. You are a fantastic lady. Keep up your great work.
And @Olivia my baking buddy and @RosaCanDo cooking buddy. And I still remember that late night we kind of met on here about some really bad movies. 
And @apes2020 appreciate the way you always bring me smiles.
And my yankee Boston friend Courtney @Dragonflygirl82 you are always there for all of us. I feel like you’re my sobah sistah or daughter (haven’t figured that out yet) from back home. You keep up the great work will ya!! I just wanted to fit in a “will ya!” I miss that phrase.
I do hope now, that I reached my 300 days, I won’t be so moody. This election thing is really getting me down and depressed. I feel great every morning but by 3-4 pm political depression sets in. One more week folks. I know we might not know the out come until much later but I hoping for a blue tsunami where it’s so obvious good will over come evil.
Love you all.
Sober on.
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