Great job on the 290 and all your other milestones. I’m dang proud of you and so happy to be riding your coattails. You’re like my favorite sister 
. And @Lisa07 too. When I see y’all post your numbers it’s like; hey! That’s gonna be me!!! That shame thing is such a bitch. I’m still ashamed at a bunch of stuff I did. But I’m so freakin proud that I’m not drinking today. And I’m probably not drinking tomorrow. I’m going to stick with that and just be pissed off at all the other shit going on in 2020. So there’s no room for shame. And we’re doing 2020 sober??? What drunks in their right mind would pick 2020 to be sober? Not us. 
thank God we did right? We’re kicking 
ass!!!
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that’s a really good idea. I will try that
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So happy to read about your reconnection.
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You are doing an awesome job! 
It truly gets better and better with each day. So proud of you. 
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I really like knitting by charts, but YES, I must have it on paper where I can make marks on it and use my magnet board to mark what row I am on, etc. I could never just do it by looking at a screen. Enjoy your challenge! It’s good for the brain.
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Daily check in im feeling great the urge now only and i mean only rises when im going thru something difficult that my brain wants an easy way out but nope i stand my ground and i know who iam and what lifestyle benefeits me !!!
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@Milele @Figgie @TSan We should all start posting on this thread: Crocheters, Knitters, and the like
Once I get through my reorganizing, I will post some pics of WIPs!
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Evening check in. Lots has happened, to me and here and it’s too much to keep up really. Makes me think should I be here at all or should I concentrate more on 3D life? TS still helps me I think. And I feel connection to so many here.
So I’ll stick around for a bit, even though I do need to concentrate more on real life too. I feel sometimes I use this place as I used my substance abuse, as a way to avoid my ‘real’ life. Use this to procrastinate, to hide, to run, not to face my real problems. Just another way to avoid taking responsibility for my life, for taking action and working on making my life better.
This is not the first time I thought of this, but it feels rather urgent now as I need to take action to try and save the closest friendship I ever hard that really is at breaking point now. With one of the main breaking points being my inability to speak my mind honestly and openly. I need to find a way to do so. One of my ideas is writing as I can speak my mind much better when I write. One of the reasons being exactly what @CapriciousCapricorn just wrote to Mike. Which reinforces me. A reason to keep coming here. I’m proud of you Stella! And grateful.
Other updates on my life: Yesterday I had some strange symptoms that could be covid related, was tested at work, today I got the negative result. It is getting ever closer tough. Things are going very bad in the Netherlands. We’re back into partial lockdown for the next four weeks. Quite a disaster for a lot of businesses. For me not too much changes. I’m home by myself most of the time anyway. Or at work, they can’t make me work from home. Now I’m enjoying a very long weekend. I need to do some good stuff. Write my friend. Ride my bike. Do something useful in my house. And be here too. All well dosed. Sober and clean. Thanks for being here all and sharing your struggles and victories. It helps. Love from Luna and me.
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Day 37: More dreams last night, though I don’t remember any. Apparently I was kicking and giggling in my sleep. Sounds fun, I’ll take it! I definitely woke up chipper and although groggy, I was ready to take on the day. Workout felt good, I’m taking care of business, and getting house and self ready for the much colder temps headed our way starting tonight. I don’t dread winter nearly as much as I have in the past. I am looking forward to making good use of my time indoors working on projects and on myself, rather than drinking away the days and pretending like I was functioning fine. I truly feel the dark clouds of depression and crippling anxiety are dissipating more and more the longer I remain sober and working on my recovery. They’re in the background, and that is manageable.
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I can totally relate to this. I kinda think I do the same with being on here… but I find it therapeutic in a way. I enjoy your presence here Mno Covid is ramping up in my hometown also… so over this virus. Take care my friend 
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Thank you so much Courtney!!!
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Checking in with 33 complete days. Onto day 34 now, when I compare too much is sounds pathetic, but it also dawned on me just an hour ago that 33 days is something to be proud of, though I think I don’t feel the pride because I had 88 days before my relapse, so I think I will only feel pride when I hit 90, and I know I will this time.
I started today with an early walk and detoured into town and treated myself to my 2nd coffee since February, and my first ever Pumpkin Spice flavoured anything, it was nicer than I imagined. I’ve been for a second walk too, it’s definitely much colder today, I’m even cold in my flat so I’ve put pyjamas on and slightly warmer now, I always wonder if my cats are cold when the temperature drops like this because in the summer the temp in my flat is in the 30s (Celsius) and now I’ve got it set to go no lower than 23c, so it’s a big difference but hopefully their fur keeps them warm.
Sending strength and love to anyone that wants or needs it. I appreciate you all and really do love this thread 
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BTW that sounds like you are calling us tossers 
Oohh! I didn’t even know that was a thing! Thanks I’ll join now.
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Ahhh, I love, love, love Pumpkinspiced lattes and everything else. Unfortunately it’s not common here in Sweden so I make my own.
I really recognize the feeling of not being proud yet. I was on day 99 when I relapsed, and now I’m back on day 45. But you know what? We should most definitely be proud of our sober days. And we should most definitely be proud of the fact that we did bounce back here again after we slipped, willing to give it all a new try and fight for our way to a better life being sober.
Be proud and keep pumpkinspice things
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it’s like a polite English way of saying your a wanker 
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I can relate, I have also felt that, thought that, both when I can’t keep up with certain threads or comment as much as I would like to, or on the opposite side when I feel I spend too much time here. The latter is defined, as you say, by whether I think I am using it to avoid or delay difficult or unpleasant things. Ultimately it is a balance but it is also all healthier than drinking/using. I think it’s important to remember that. The gems that we read and learn by being here, the sense that we are part of a community of people with a common goal, it’s all worth the time and energy we put in because it’s part of our recovery. That’s my thinking, anyway, and just like life is always shifting, that balance of where we place our energies will shift with it. I am glad you’re here.
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@Mno My husband and I have written to each other during our most challenging and heavy emotional times. It really has made all the difference. We feel like we can say what we really mean, which is therapeutic in itself, and then the other party has the opportunity to respond with space and time to do so after some reflection. I highly recommend it.
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