Aww Donna!! That is a tragedy. He left you way too soon. I too, have a younger brother and hes always been closer to me than my older sister… I understand what a stong bond that is. He loved you sooo much he came to visit you in a dream!! 
I am sending your beautiful brother lots of love today!! 
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Thank you, sweetie… 
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What a heart breaking event @anon79808082. I tear up every time you mention him. Sending you lots of love and strength to get through this tough day.
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Thank you, Lisa… Today always feels heavy when it comes around. My sister says yesterday is hard for her because it was his last day.
He dealt with a lot of sh%* in his young life.
Love you…
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That’s t-shirt worthy. I support!
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I am so, so sorry, @anon79808082. The pain of him frozen in time at that vulnerable age not knowing the outcome must be horrible. I’ve had similar dreams involving my own dead parents and brother and you know they’re different from regular dreams. So, that must be a blessing to know he’s okay. I’m sure you could feel every bone in his body when you gave him that hug. That you are leading a sober life now and facing all the emotions and grief with clear eyes makes you all that more impressive. And you were pretty impressive already. Please take care.
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Yes! I didn’t write that but I almost did; when I hugged him I felt his back and his hug back. Wow, and you’re right about that being frozen in time. I think of how old he’d be today, people I know that age, etc.
Thanks for writing…
I think there was one more school picture after this one but this is what I have.
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So awful @anon79808082
I can’t imagine how you and your family deal / dealt with the not knowing 
I appreciate you sharing the lovely memories you have
Big hugs! 
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awww, take care of your beautiful heart. sending you big hugs, lovely Donna. i’m sure he would be so proud of his sis. 
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Thanks sweetie…
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Checking in at Day #51. Funny how all that Friday night insanity is so far behind me and with this clear brain, I’m already cooking on the next book - though I have to finish revising this one. (We call this shiny object syndrome in our profession.) Constantly inspired by the check-ins and little progresses here. @Girlinterrupted so happy to read about your social ease and getting out and about. Good for you.
@TSan I went through that about a week ago. Everything seemed like a slog. I think @MrsOdh is right about Mercury in retrograde. Sometimes, treading water - getting laundry done, doing the dishes, picking hair out of the drain - is a major accomplishment.
And congratulations @Penguin. 60 days sober is an awesome accomplishment! Good luck in sharing. I figure what we want to tell others is up to us. Personally, I like to keep it short and sweet.
OK - off to another day of revisions. Got my pot o’ Earl Grey. As soon as that’s done, it’s a walk, tidy up, dinner (veggie chili w/ jalapeno cornbread) and a book. Watched Cabin in the Woods last night. If you like Buffy, don’t mind senseless (over the top gore), are familiar with the teen horror flicks and have a sense of humor, this might be your perfect Halloween cult film. Be well everyone! Another day, another way.
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Wow. What a cute kid!
When my brother died, I didn’t “hear” from him for a year. Then I had a dream that I was in the Boston T near the bar where he used to hang out. (Hey, he was an alcoholic. Makes sense.) Everyone was whispering that Mark was coming. Mark was coming. I waited at a table with two other guys - like they were his escort. And then, suddenly, there he was in his familiar green pullover and tweed hat. It was definitely him. I was so overjoyed, I burst into tears and gave him a hug. Not sure actual words were spoken, but the message was crystal clear: I’m okay. I love you. And then I turned to the two minders and he faded away. That was the last I saw of him, but it was definitely him. I could even smell his aftershave. Love wins, Donna. It never dies.
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Wow, that’s a great visit. When I woke up from that dream I was sitting up already and the tears pouring out of me were the most I’ve ever seen or had. I was 22 and wasn’t in a good spiritual place so I think it was really wonderful of him to get through to me back then.
I love that you could smell his aftershave…
Also, my brother was in MA too.
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@anon79808082 I’m so sorry you are dealing with this today, thanks for sharing your story and I will keep you, your family and your brother in my thoughts on this especially hard day. Thank goodness you are sober to deal with the emotions and remember him with a clear mind. I hope you have a peaceful day.
@TSan I’m sorry you’re in a funk today! I certainly have my fair share of days like this, especially now that I’m learning to deal with life and it’s challenges without the crutch of alcohol. You are right that it will pass and you will feel stronger for having weathered the storm without picking up a drink. I hope you stay busy today and things improve 
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I can’t even begin to imagine what it was like to wonder when he would come home. My heart goes out to you
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Thank you for your kind words! Not giving up and trying again is also worthy of celebration. The experience from our previous sober times is not lost and has definitely helped me this time around. Trying to be positive about it 
Let’s see how it goes with my parents. They always mean well, but I’m not sure they would understand. And they worry too much. I might tell them after I move in the same city as them in January.
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Thank you Beth. It was hard when I had my son; before the day he turned 14 I wouldn’t let him out of my sight… I remember that day he did turn 14 and felt relief of some sort; like I did it.
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Congratulations on 60 days @Penguin! It’s definitely worth celebrating your achievements this time around. You made it through an injury that caused you to abandon your trip and that’s something to be very proud of. Hope you’re healing nicely.
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I thought it was a ice cream sundae with two wafers! 
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