Are you taking anything to help with repairing your muscles??
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Working on day 4 - @Tomek you put to words a lot of my feelings. The root of why I drank was acceptance. I changed who I was to fit in. My daughter is trying to get sober but I have found itās a bad idea to try to be each otherās sponsors. You said it well ā¦ This space makes me feel like I have some kind of sober identity and hopefully that will keep getting stronger.
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Oh yeah. Soon as Iām done my lifts Iām drinking my protein shake, take a scoop of Creatine. Eat every two to three hours. Cold showers, getting pretty good sleep. But the battle rope session is new for us so it definitely takes alot out of me which I didnāt realize was gonna affect my chest day the way it did 
. Last week was are heavy week, I hit 255 on becn for 3. This week was a lighter week with more reps, but I struggled with 205 for 3 on the bench and it pissed me right off 
. But progress not perfection
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@Dragonflygirl82. I love these words. Going to save them for the times i need a little extra motivation. Thank you 
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Checking-ing.
About journalingā¦
I was about to start journaling again. I havenāt since I quit drinking last month. It is though very associated with my struggles with addiction and mental health. I just opened the last doc I saw that the first entry was a letter I wrote myself when I wanted to quit bad in march. Felt bad to read it and realize it took me half a year to get sober. All that journal is struggle and shame. Sometime some good questioning, but mostly rumination and some philosophical insight and analysis. So I closed it. I opened the one I had before it just to see, and my last entry was : "March 17, 2020 : Fail. " And I remember that I donāt remember what I did that night. After that I started a new journal to start a sober one but it was still the same. Coupe of entry with good insight followed by shame and guilt and trying to resonate myself into moderationā¦ So I had a weird feeling and did not start a new journal yet.
But I wanted to write about purpose and vision. I was in my bed this morning and decided that this is what I was about to write about, but my feelings decided it wouldnāt be this morning. I donāt feel bad about it. Iāll start when I am ready. I am not sure yet what form I want it to take. I guess at some point Iāll just have to break the ice and try to write something.
Purpose and vision. That is my āhomeworkā that the addiction therapist gave me to do: āwhat do you want for your life?ā Damn itās a huge question. But she asked me to just write anything that comes to mind. I like the idea, but every time I am about to write about it, I choke lol. But I listened to a podcast yesterday and the guy talked about purpose and said something like āif you donāt think about your future and canāt be optimistic about the future, how are you going to be optimistic about what you do with your life?ā Wasnāt that he said at all, but it made me realize how much when I was drinking I use to have this dark vision of myself growing up and end up in a drunk hole or just a huge failure alone. And I havenāt really take time to change that vision of myself. Of course I see myself in my career, I see that I want kids, but I donāt know whatās my purpose surrounding all those things that I want to have and be. So Iāll take time soon to try and put some words on that. I think itās good to cherish a new sober vision of ourself and cultivate that sense of purpose - now that we can have one.
Hope everyone have a good day, 
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Hey, everyone! Checking in sober, Day 280 - that makes 40 Weeks AF!! WOOT!! WOOT!!
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10/13/2020 is my sobriety date so I officially have 4 months clean and sober today! Iām healthy, I have a car, a place to live food to eat, Iām attending the school of my dreams and Iām back together with the woman of my dreams. I am so grateful for all of these things and I 100% know that I will lose it all if I do not put sobriety and God first. Thank you so much to all of you who have helped me along my journey. I know I couldnāt have made it through without having this forum as part of my recovery. Thanks again and have an AMAZING DAY!!! 
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I LOVE that number!!! Good job!!!
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Hi peeps. Yesterday morning afternoon was extremely difficult and i nearly relapsed. I ended up cleaning and clearing loads of old crap out of the flat.
Today i feel ok. Cravings are back down to a 3 out of 10 where as yesterday it was 12 out of 10!
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Remember when youāre up to that point give yourself the right to do anything that could make you feel better or distract yourself. Just put out the idea that drinking is an option, so when you the craving come, you know you need something but you just donāt know what it is yet. Brain patterns are strong. You think itās alcohol you need, but itās totally the opposite, you might be tired, hungry, thirsty, happyā¦ All the things and needs we used to confuse with drinking are still there, except the habit we had about them have to change.
Yesterday I had a pizza for lunch. Realize after that I didnāt really needed this. But i am happy I chose to order a pizza instead of drinking myself off, because thatās not what I needed too. Afterwards I figured I was just brain dead from being in front of computer for so long without a break.
Give yourself some time and you will be able to learn and grow from EVERY craving youāll ever have.
This is how I approach my cravings: they are informative and then represent an opportunity to learn about my natural adaptation to life, and change my behaviours. Doesnāt mean Iāll get it right the first time , but Iāve tried the drinking path enough to know this is not what I need. At least Iāve learned that from years of drinking : I donāt need this. Ever.
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Congratulations on your 30 days! Your words absolutely resonate with me - I also felt I had lost myself completely. Doesnāt it feel good to be on our way back?!
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AWESOME!!! Way to go!
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Good for you! Love the cravings scale.
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Day 17. Was feeling pretty terrible last night because it seems like all I do right now is go to work, go home, feed and walk my dog, and go to bed. Drinking is part of pretty much everything here. A friend called last night to see if I wanted to go with them to watch the Saints game at the bar. I declined. Instead, I signed up for In The Rooms online. I need to be surrounded by people who are also working on their sobriety, online and in real life.
This morning, my library hold for āWe Are The Luckiestā came through. I read the first couple of chapters before I got ready for work, and it made me feel a lot less upset than I was last night. The author specifically talks about staying away from all of the things that make you want to drink, so I felt a bit better about not going to watch the Saints game. I look forward to reading more tonight when I get home.
@Dragonflygirl82 congratulations on 8 months! I canāt tell you how inspiring it is to read your daily check-ins and see how youāre doing daily.
@Tomek congratulations on 30 days! Your honesty here really means a lot to me. I read your posts and feel not so alone, as I am feeling a lot of the same things as I inch my way to 30 days.
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Awesome numbers right there!
Congratulations 
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https://kslnewsradio.com/1934995/video-cougar-follows-man-running-near-provo-for-6-minutes/?
Holy %&$@!!!
This will get your heart racing! @JasonFisher itās in Provo.
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Quitting drinking is a challenge, but it doesnāt help when youāre surrounded by a drinking culture.Very proud of you! Really glad youāre reaching out and taking such proactive steps. When this month is over, youāll feel more secure in your sobriety, Iām sure. It helps me a lot to come here and check in. Whenever Iām tempted to steal a sip, I think of everyone here and how I donāt want to let down the team. Keep going!
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Hello! Working on Day #46. Back to work - though I worked all weekend on the book and elections so WTF? Speaking of abbreviations, I have a confession to make. Since Iāve been on here, Iāve been translating AF to As F*&CK. Like, I donāt mind being AS F*$CK. Or 10 days AS F*%CK. Or have you tried As F%*CK beer. Totally confused.
Only last night did I realize it means Alcohol Free!
Once a blonde, always a blonde - even if now it comes from a bottle.
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