No, they were not easy at all, but I’m gonna keep on trucking!
Thank you very much!
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You should have added some Queen, jogging down the road, tears streaming down your face with, “Weeeee are the chaaaampoins, my friiiieeeennds!” 
I guess sometimes the sound track lines up as it is supposed to.
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I did have Somebody To Love on that playlist.
I don’t have We Are The Champions on any of my playlists.
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- Coffee. Busy night with lots of dreams so I don’t feel very rested. Waking up now with my sad lamp and this thread. It’s nice to feel part of the continuum this place is. All doing our bests to live our best lives, sober and clean. One day at a time. Have a good day, evening or night wherever you are. One more early shift and it’s my weekend. Love from Amsterdam in autumn.
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I’m here, I’m alive and I’m sober.
Day 52
Got some new information about the teen and the social services yesterday. They’ve had this case going on for 7 years without being capable of solving the problems. And during this years no one have asked us shit, or checked if the father ia willing or capable of caring for his child. The months ahe spent here isn’t even written in any papers. And all the time they’ve just bought the mothers story without any further questions. And now they want to investigate us to see if we’re a proper fit and if we can provide this teen with all she needs. Until they are done with that she have to stay at the youth facility, and they where almost rude about it yesterday. They don’t have time to come here until Tuesday next week, and it’s a forced visit. After Tuesday the youth facility is supposed to start and drive her here for a few hours every day, so she can “get to know us”. Unfortunately the boys (our boys) have school break next week, and we had a lot planned. Which they don’t care about, if we want to reschedule a visit or skip a day they are going to label that as “not interested in getting to know the teen” a child we already knows,and they won’t end the case and let her move in here.
Meanwhile they’ve got the mother who never cared and all the time they’ve bounced the kid back to a dysfunctional not caring mother without further investigation. The foster care family didn’t ever get investigatet either.
As soon as they’ve closed the case I’m reporting them to every higher authority and every newspaper and TV show I can think of. I’m going to raise Hell and evoke the Devil about this. As soon as I can do that without getting ourselves and the teen into trouble. Hey, I might even know a spell for that 
Besides that, I can’t so anything more than wait, and if they, God forbid, makes the conclusion that we aren’t a fitting family there’s nothing more we can do. It’s a shame, maybe I just need to land in that, accept it and sit on the bench watching, but I can’t.
Going to work in some school work today,try to calm down and accept things for what it is. But it seems a lot harder to do that when you don’t have the “Jesus take over” attitude. So I’m not sure how to. I know we’ve done everything we can, and that the decisions isn’t ours to take for now. But it still feels that we haven’t done enough.
The cold, frozen, rainy and dark fall outside doesn’t make things a lot better. It actually increases the small hopeless feeling and wants me to resort, drink gluhwein and forget about it all for a while. Getting completely numb and sleep doesn’t sound bad at all unfortunately. I know it won’t solve anything, and that it would make the situation even worse. I’m just… I don’t know what to do, or how to handle this at all. And the waiting and insecurity about what’s going to happen, mixed with the forced social services visit gives me anxiety.
Happy Wednesday everyone. Keep on fighting 
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Seems like you guys have about the same darkness as we do in Sweden.
Hope your day gets good, and that you’re able to sleep tonight.
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That’s a lot on your plate Sophia. Seems to me the Serenity Prayer would come in useful and helpful for you now. And that’s coming from a non-religious non 12 step guy. Hugs.
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Maybe I should try that. I’m neither religious or AA. But at least that’s something that isn’t alcohol. Thank you for the idea. Hugs back
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I’m happy I did check in!
You’re a strong lady, Sophia; just handle each day and what that 24 hours hands you. 
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Oooooh, yeah! I was raised on movies like The Philidalphia Story and Harvy and It’s A Wonderful Life and The Man Who Knew Too Much and Vertigo. I also loved Cary Grant, because To Catch a Thief was an excellent movie.
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This photo is amazing!!!
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Checking in on day 0. Zero. There is not more to say at the moment…
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Awesome job on 90 days!
Thank you, I’ll try to change my mindset. Maybe that’ll get me trough this without making me insane.
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Cheers buddy. Xx it’s been tough going but there’s no going bk out for me. Xx tried that thru cov19 after nearly getting 6 months, I figured out real quick it’s definitely not where I want to be or want. Xx
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Thanks sweet. Xx I’d love to say I’m buzzing but in all honesty I feel like shit
Swings and roundabouts right😘
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One of those days, huh. It’s tough and I’m sorry. Great that you’re letting yourself feel even when it’s rough.
This is what I do when having a day like that: I search within me the thought that triggered my emotions (since feelings aren’t created in a vacuum, there’s always a thought behind them whether conscious or subconscious). Then I sit with it and try to figure out if that’s all or if the actual issue is camouflaging. They’re sneaky fuckers. Most times I find it, sometimes not. When you find the issue you can address it. For example, I freak out at times in such a way I used to freak a out as a kid. Since I can’t go to my parents/spouse for comfort and reassurance I have to give them to myself. And it works.
Sorry for the rambling. Eric, you’re great. Sending hugsies and a strength for the day.
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Congratulations!!!
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