First of all congratulations on the 400 club! I’m sorry that you’re having a tough time. I personally wouldn’t give up or cut back your meetings as long as you feel you need for whatever reason you need them, protect your sobriety like a newborn child. Control the things you can and give yourself some grace. Hugs to you.
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Okay now i can say congratulations on 1 full year of recovery. One full year of getting better in every possible way. You my friend are an inspiration for all. Spoil yourself today.
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Through it all, you’ve still got your sobriety. Congrats on 400 days, keep on trucking, you’ve got this dear!
Blessings and sobriety!
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Day 263. Holy moly it’s a record, I actually missed a day, but I missed my favorite day 
deadlifts. The girl I ride with couldn’t make it to work today, and I just wasn’t riding my bike to the guy’s house to lift 300 pounds a bunch of times, then try to bike to work. To tired for that and my body needed a good rest day. I am being hard on myself missing the day, but honestly that’s a good thing that shows passion, and progress and growth. Anyways it’s Friday, if it’s nice tomorrow I may take the girls for a hike. We will see, I think a cheat day is in order and maybe I’ll order us some pizza for dinner. Maybe do some face painting with my beautiful girls. Have a awesome Friday everyone
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Good to see you back.
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Checking in
New quote on my board:
“Whatever you practice grow stronger.”
This really hit me when I heard this yesterday in a podcast (which is called “The one you feed” hosted by an ancient addict who was interviewing a neuroscientist).
Anyways, this is really in the zone and direction of what I am working on these days. As I red the last day posts here I see a lot of struggles around craving, sometime even shaming… It is so hard to change our reactions to hard feelings and deep needs that we use to cope with alcohol or negativity for so long… But man when you realize that this circle of feeling-craving-shaming-coping is the one you actually practice everyday, instead of practicing yourself to look on the other way, it’s a game changer. Unfortunately I don’t have lots of time this morning to elaborate on this, but still wanted to share.
Change exist. You can change. The brain can adapt to what we choose, behave and practice every day. Choose what’s good for you, even if it’s hard - this is how you’ll strengthen your tendency to choose what’s good for you.
Hope you all have good day 
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Checking in on day 131. Feeling good today but a bit tired. I have a very busy day so I probably won’t be able to be on here as much as usual unfortunately.
Have a great days guys.
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Good morning from beautiful Charlotte, NC.
Starting to feel better emotionally about my daughter. Just going to give it some space. My ex is completely ignoring me, likely because his wife is egging him on to be angry. I’ve been having nightmares the past two nights. One was that I got back with him 
Voted early on Wednesday. I was a little tense as I was expecting a long line. Bit it was just me and 50+ poll workers. It is the largest early polling site in Charlotte. I guess I lucked out. My favorite part was my free pen. I love me some pens!
You know, we never know what people have been through or going through. I’ve shared about one of my brokers that’s very sensitive and volatile. I finally got to do my very favorite part of my job for him yesterday, I wrote him his first commission check. He brought beer in to celebrate his first deal closing with the other boys in the office, and I just felt so happy and proud of him. Once the other boys left, he shared with me that his brother killed his mother and then committed suicide. This was less than a year after his dad passed away. No one should ever have to go through that. This man is now all alone and stuck in a miserable marriage. He seems so sad. It definitely gives me some insight into why he is the way he is. He’s never gotten any therapy or anything. This happened in 2011.
Anyway, have a great sober Friday folks. Just remembered when I said that, I have to go to T-Mobile with ex2 to move my phone off his plan. He’s going on his mommy’s plan. You can’t make this shit up. So I get to wheel his stupid ass around later this afternoon.
Yay Friday!!!
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Proud of you 
… Every morning when you wake up, or when ever you wake up, read your lists… I know what its like that first three weeks… It’s a shit show of blah…sleeping, eating and not much else… Things look up after the three week mark… But you will be fine. Just take it easy the first few weeks and don’t be hard on your self…go through the motions and you will be back to your normal self with a spring in your step soon 
… I know how easy it is to pick up again within the first 3 days off, it always happens… Don’t let it happen this time. Push through… Your future self will thank you 
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Day 60.
Haven’t really been checking in, not sure why 
Still read lots every day and good to do that but probably need to be a bit more active!
We are in day 2 of a 6 week ‘lockdown’ although it doesn seem like it, still working from home, who would have thought I liked the office
Anyway, just a quick check in, tis lunchtime here
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Checking in on day 40. It’s been a busy day, I have a lot of work. Sometimes I take a break, because it’s impossible to force creative work for hours without some rest, so than I can organize my thoughts while listening to music.
I feel better today, the recent days were a lot worst. I just can’t seem to recharge myself emotionally. I do what I have to do day by day on autopilot mode, but I don’t feel myself alive in the meantime. The tempting feeling to escape or disappear into drunkenness is still there. However I realize, that it would have the same efficiency than a kid covering their eyes with their hands believing that people don’t see them.
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Amazing Lisa!! Congratulations
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Nice one Lisa! Great to see girl! 
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Took this earlier but it wouldn’t let me load. Got a busy weekend of playdates for my daughter, day service for my son, band practice for husband and some pd for me. Glad to be sober to do it!
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Thank you, yeah I struggle with getting the motivation at this stage of the recovery. The last thing I want to do is pick up in all fairness, I feel so shitty, can’t wait to feel back to normal.
One thing I was thinking this last day. If I was told I had say a month to live, i’ve always thought i’d say fuck it and just go and get high. I feel that this time the high was so lonely that actually I wouldn’t want to get high and would just want to spend it with loved ones. It may be the comedown speaking but I hope it is a true feeling.
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Hi, guys! Checking in on Day #56. That makes 8 weeks and the beginning of my 9th weekend. Unlike previous approaching weekends, I have zero interest in drinking. Zero. In fact, the other day I took a whiff of my husband’s bourbon and nearly retched. It reminded me of being a kid and wondering why adults drank that crap when they could be drinking root beer!
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Day 91
I am not doing so good.
I found out yesterday that my best friend died from fentanyl overdose. She was seeing this new guy and he gave her meth with fentanyl and now she is gone. Never even thought she was into meth, I know this new guy had everything to do with it. My heart just hurts. Anyone reading this, be careful. I hear about this fentanyl shit killing people all the time and now it took my best friend. She was sunshine on a cloudy day. She would graduate nursing school today.
God, she had reached out to me saying she was depressed and wanted to die. I should have reached out to her more. I should have been texting her everyday.
I woke up this morning and my nightmare continues. I just cant wrap my head around it. Like she is really gone.
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Checking in on this Friday. It’s a warm one; it’s to be in the mid-20’s (Celsius) which is super warm, as it’s been close to freezing lately. Back to single digit temps tomorrow. I decided to take the day off so after I dropped my little guy off, I commuted back home. Thought I’d clean, laundry, meal prep, but really I’m wanting to catch up on here, play my word games, watch some Golden Girls & The Office 
so I shall see what I get up to. I’ll make an intention to hop on my rowing machine at least. Feeling a bit emotional with dad’s 1st anniversary of his death in a week; really wishing the travel restrictions weren’t preventing me from going to NS to his gravesite. I know I can mourn from here, but something about being back home and by the grave where he and mum are resting. Started listening to Recovery Dharma audiobook. Looking forward to listening. Have a great day, all.
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Day 2 sober Tired and upset but I am just reaping what I sown. Patience and endurance are my only exit
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That’s soo sad… I’m sorry to hear that sweetie.
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